‘Heretics’ or ‘Atheists’? A Response
May 23, 2012
By Rachel Ozanne
“I heard hundreds of these evangelical sermons—heard hundreds of the most fearful and vivid descriptions of the tortures inflicted in hell, of the horrible state of the lost. I supposed that what I heard was true and yet I did not believe it. I said: ‘It is,’ and then I thought: ‘It cannot be.’” —Robert Ingersoll, 1896
I connected instantly with Kate Blanchard’s May 10 piece, “Coming out as a Heretic.” I too grew up in a Christian family, and, despite very intense Christian devotion and deep soul and scripture searching, I “fell away” from the faith in my early twenties. I have been “unchurched” for about 6 years now and have often struggled to identify my current relationship to the Christian faith.
Simply identifying as an atheist at first felt uncomfortable to me for a number of reasons. All of my family members remained Christian, so it was easier for me to tell them that I was “searching,” or at least agnostic, rather than atheist. Additionally, I wasn’t sure that the label applied to me. Finally, now, as a historian of religion, when I introduce myself to strangers, they inevitably ask me about my religious commitments. When I explain that I have none, I often sense a series of judgments about who I am, just by admitting my unbelief.
I struggled long and hard with my faith, and it was incredibly difficult to leave my family’s church. However, I have come to realize that one of the reasons that I left was because of my deep commitment to the faith. When I recognized that I no longer agreed with several of the fundamental tenets of Christianity, I knew that I didn’t belong in my church community anymore—particularly because the church I grew up in emphasized strict adherence to its doctrine. In short, I became a nonbeliever because I took very seriously Christianity and its truth claims, not because I found them laughable.
http://www.religiondispatches.org/archive/atheologies/6005/%E2%80%98heretics%E2%80%99_or_%E2%80%98atheists%E2%80%99_a_response
Rachel Ozanne is a PhD Candidate in the Department of History at the University of Texas at Austin specializing in 19th century U.S. religions, with an emphasis on religious experiences, ethics, and Protestantism.
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