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Sun Jan 27, 2019, 02:47 PM

Reclusive Deity Hasn't Written A New Book In 2,000 Years




NEW YORK—Leading writers, scholars, and publishers gathered this week at Fordham University for a literary conference and panel discussion on God, the widely praised but reclusive deity who has not published a book since His landmark debut 2,000 years ago.

Hailed by critics as one of the most important authors in recent millennia, the eccentric divinity is said to have long ago retreated from the public eye, eschewing a life of celebrity for one of solitude and quiet. To this day, experts confirmed, His artistic reputation rests exclusively upon His bestselling and highly acclaimed first work, the Bible.

“God has granted no interviews, made no public appearances, and kept entirely to Himself for what seems like ages, and yet it’s fair to say that no other author has been quite so influential,” said noted critic and conference attendee James Wood, observing that while the fiercely private immortal being has only one book to His credit, He remains among the world’s most respected and quoted writers. “For many readers, God’s writing had a transformative impact on their lives, and countless people list His book among their favorite titles. But for reasons that we can only speculate about, God has chosen to stay out of the limelight and let His words speak for themselves. Perhaps it is God’s retreat into His own world that allowed Him to render His vision so vividly on the page.”

“It’s also possible that, with the first book, He simply said everything He had to say,” Wood continued. “Though one would think a writer of such impressive knowledge and power would never lack for inspiration.”


https://entertainment.theonion.com/reclusive-deity-hasn-t-written-a-new-book-in-2-000-year-1819576927

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Reply Reclusive Deity Hasn't Written A New Book In 2,000 Years (Original post)
True Dough Jan 2019 OP
malchickiwick Jan 2019 #1
True Dough Jan 2019 #2
MineralMan Jan 2019 #6
True Dough Jan 2019 #22
Glamrock Jan 2019 #29
True Dough Jan 2019 #32
violetpastille Jan 2019 #3
Bretton Garcia Jan 2019 #10
Gothmog Jan 2019 #4
MineralMan Jan 2019 #5
Major Nikon Jan 2019 #11
MineralMan Jan 2019 #14
MarvinGardens Jan 2019 #24
Glamrock Jan 2019 #30
sanatanadharma Jan 2019 #7
Igel Jan 2019 #8
Ferrets are Cool Jan 2019 #9
edhopper Jan 2019 #12
guillaumeb Jan 2019 #13
MineralMan Jan 2019 #15
guillaumeb Jan 2019 #16
MineralMan Jan 2019 #17
guillaumeb Jan 2019 #18
marylandblue Jan 2019 #28
guillaumeb Jan 2019 #35
mitch96 Jan 2019 #19
guillaumeb Jan 2019 #20
violetpastille Jan 2019 #21
guillaumeb Jan 2019 #23
marylandblue Jan 2019 #27
Bretton Garcia Jan 2019 #31
Voltaire2 Jan 2019 #25
guillaumeb Jan 2019 #34
trotsky Jan 2019 #36
Voltaire2 Jan 2019 #26
Act_of_Reparation Jan 2019 #33

Response to True Dough (Original post)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 02:52 PM

1. I was expecting a story about GRRM (LOL)

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Response to malchickiwick (Reply #1)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 02:54 PM

2. Game of Thrones

may overtake the Catholic church in popularity, if it hasn't already!

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Response to True Dough (Reply #2)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 03:36 PM

6. Don't forget the Harry Potter series, either.

There's an entire new generation reading those now.

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Response to MineralMan (Reply #6)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 08:53 PM

22. True.

Kids waving wands and casting spells instead of listening to stories of heaven, hell, limbo and purgatory.

They're better off.

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Response to True Dough (Reply #2)

Mon Jan 28, 2019, 01:20 AM

29. Not to mention the Beatles!

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Response to Glamrock (Reply #29)

Mon Jan 28, 2019, 07:40 AM

32. Let It Be!

And the reference to Mother Mary is not the Virgin Mary.

The Beatles rock!

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Response to True Dough (Original post)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 03:00 PM

3. Look what happened the last time. No more bailouts.

The second coming of Christ if and when, will be Christ Consciousness for everyone.

No more prophets. No more gurus are coming. No more teachers.

We have had MORE than enough time to figure things out and learn to work together.

As the great Mariah Carey once said:


Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you.

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Response to violetpastille (Reply #3)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 04:16 PM

10. Actually, his second book, the New Testament ...

.. constantly, slyly, changed, ""twisted," metaphoricalized, the first, Old Testament.

To the point that I read the second coming, the heaven-shattering Apocalypse, as the moment a Christian realizes it was all a ruse. And decides to give it all up for Reason and science and logic. The second and truer appearance.

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Response to True Dough (Original post)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 03:30 PM

4. I love the onion

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Response to True Dough (Original post)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 03:35 PM

5. The last one was ghost-written, anyhow.

I'm pretty sure all of them were, actually. And then, they were badly translated, besides. God's not going to take up His divine time scribbling books, you know. He has people to do that for Him.

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Response to MineralMan (Reply #5)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 04:28 PM

11. Not even that

They were oral traditions that nobody bothered to write down until decades, if not centuries after those with whom they are attributed to were long gone. At best they are 4th or 5th hand accounts of Jesus and probably more than that. Matthew and Luke were based on the same source material.

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Response to Major Nikon (Reply #11)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 07:57 PM

14. I know. I was making a joke.

Iron Age campfire tales. All of it.

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Response to Major Nikon (Reply #11)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 09:39 PM

24. According to "Misquoting Jesus", Mark was the oldest.

Others were probably embellished from that. And even Mark was copied over and over by scribes, the originals being long lost.

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Response to MineralMan (Reply #5)

Mon Jan 28, 2019, 01:26 AM

30. Unfortunately

He delegated a lot of that to people wandering the desert by themselves for years at a time. Not a great idea for a publisher. I'm guessing a few of those ghost writers were a couple cans short of a six pack when they came out of the desert.

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Response to True Dough (Original post)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 03:39 PM

7. A new new testiment is in proof now, publishers are waiting on the peer review

No valid reason to assume that the revelation is complete, nor to assume that the now-century knows the final complete word.
Nor to assume any god-thoughts are more than wisps of the wind.

God is like an onion unpeeled by theology, where-in every layer is the same as the next, until the realization comes that there is no there there. No center. The peeler is more real than the peeled.

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Response to True Dough (Original post)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 03:41 PM

8. What? The Onion now says the Quran is unrelated to God?

That could end badly.

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Response to True Dough (Original post)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 04:01 PM

9. They have to go to religion for material because tRump

stole all their work since he and his admin has been in office.

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Response to True Dough (Original post)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 06:35 PM

12. I read that

I was very interested in the cosmology and history of the Universe and the earth. Since he was there for all that.

But he only gave us about 30 sentences and most of it is wrong.

14 billion years in one page.

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Response to True Dough (Original post)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 06:42 PM

13. The Creator has inspired people to write literally thousands of books.

So there is that to consider.

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Response to guillaumeb (Reply #13)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 08:00 PM

15. That's just nonsense, guillaumeb.

The authors might have believed that was the source of inspiration, but there is zero evidence of it.

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Response to MineralMan (Reply #15)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 08:01 PM

16. Ah yes, your inspired insight into what prompted the writers to write.

Noted.

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Response to guillaumeb (Reply #16)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 08:11 PM

17. I am a writer, Guy.

Did you not know that? Books and everything.

You realize that the Onion is satire, right?

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Response to MineralMan (Reply #17)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 08:13 PM

18. A writer you say?

And what is this thing you call satire?

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Response to guillaumeb (Reply #18)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 11:54 PM

28. It's a lot like metaphor, only funnier.

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Response to marylandblue (Reply #28)

Mon Jan 28, 2019, 04:52 PM

35. And seldom done well. eom

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Response to guillaumeb (Reply #13)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 08:13 PM

19. "inspired people to write"

That's what I thought... people wrote their interpretation, not god. They heard a good story and wrote it down. Now play the telephone game for a few hundred years and "POOF" it's the word of god. To me it's really just a nice story concocted by man... It gives hope..
YMMV and that's just me
m

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Response to mitch96 (Reply #19)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 08:16 PM

20. I understand your point. eom

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Response to guillaumeb (Reply #13)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 08:43 PM

21. +1 My favorite religious text:

The liner notes to Coltrane's "Love Supreme".

Whether he believed he was inspired by gratitude to his Creator and whether there is evidence - I hear what I hear. I see what I see. I feel what I feel.

That's faith. (shrug emoji) What can you do?

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Response to violetpastille (Reply #21)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 08:55 PM

23. But where is the "proof",

is the constant refrain for those who choose to ignore the fact that we all believe in unprovable things.

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Response to guillaumeb (Reply #23)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 11:53 PM

27. That's not a fact, it's an opinion, which is itself unprovable.

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Response to guillaumeb (Reply #23)

Mon Jan 28, 2019, 06:06 AM

31. Some things like religion ...

... are far more improbable than other beliefs. Especially given flat disproofs of their more concrete claims. Like promises of all the miracles we ask for (John 14.13).

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Response to guillaumeb (Reply #13)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 11:26 PM

25. So your holy book is no different than

any of the other religiously inspired books written over the last two thousand years?

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Response to Voltaire2 (Reply #25)

Mon Jan 28, 2019, 04:51 PM

34. Different in narrative,perhaps. eom

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Response to guillaumeb (Reply #13)

Tue Jan 29, 2019, 08:54 AM

36. So has Harry Potter.

https://harrypotterfanfiction.com/

I'm sure you thought you had a brilliant point. Too bad.

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Response to True Dough (Original post)

Sun Jan 27, 2019, 11:30 PM

26. Book o Mormon nonsense was written

by the Mormon tooth fairy 150 years ago.

God, aka L Ron Hubbard, aka the Scientology tooth fairy, wrote the Dianetics gibberish not even 70 years ago.

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Response to Voltaire2 (Reply #26)

Mon Jan 28, 2019, 08:35 AM

33. Not really.

If the story is true (which it isn't), Joe Smith just copied down a story that had been written down thousands of years earlier on the golden plates and then lost.

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