Lutheran Insulter

[Fumesucker]

I thought this little web app might come in handy on the Religion forum, one becomes jaded reading the same few insults bandied back and forth, variety is the spice of life after all.

http://ergofabulous.org/luther/?

It makes me tingle with pleasure from head to toe when I see that through me, poor wretched man that I am, God the Lord maddens and exasperates you hellish and worldly people, so that in your spite you will burst and tear yourselves to pieces - while I sit under the shade of faith and the Lord's Prayer, laughing at you devils and your crew and you blubber and struggler in your great fury.

[tama]

1. You

are like the ostrich, the foolish bird which thinks it is wholly concealed when it gets its neck under a branch. Or like small children, who hold their hands in front of their eyes and seeing nobody imagine that no one sees them either. In general, you are so stupid that it makes one feel like vomiting.
(From Against the Heavenly Prophets, pg. 186 of Luther's Works, Vol. 40)

[MADem]

2. Luther had a lot of time to think this stuff up, you know...

In addition to his 95 theses, he had a great deal of trouble producing any number of feces.

Yes, Martin Luther was constipated....and several years ago, they found the crapper where he sat and perhaps penned his great works whilst waiting for nature to take its course.

Really.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/3944549.stm

Archaeologists in Germany say they may have found a lavatory where Martin Luther launched the Reformation of the Christian church in the 16th Century.
The stone room is in a newly-unearthed annex to Luther's house in Wittenberg.

Luther is quoted as saying he was "in cloaca", or in the sewer, when he was inspired to argue that salvation is granted because of faith, not deeds.

The scholar suffered from constipation and spent many hours in contemplation on the toilet seat.

[JNelson6563]

3. No surprise here.

Judging by his hateful writings the shit came out via his pen instead of the usual way.

Julie

[cbayer]

6. Constipation can definitely make one cranky.

[riqster]

4. For sheer, brutal satire, it is hard to top

"Letters of Obscure Men", written by Erasmus et. al. during Luther's debates with the Church: http://www.archive.org/stream/epistolaeobscuro00huttuoft/epistolaeobscuro00huttuoft_djvu.txt

[cbayer]

5. You are like mouse-dropping in the pepper.

From On the Councils and the Church, pg. 56 of Luther's Works, Vol. 41

[MADem]

7. Ya know, I'm surprised not more DUers are Lutherans!!!

A lot of 'em certainly have the bold ripostes and searing invective down!

[cbayer]

8. Your words are un-Christian, antichristian, and spoken by the inspiration of the evil spirit.

[MADem]

9. Oi vey!!!!

It is presumptuous for people who are as ignorant as you are not to take up the work of a herdsman.

From Explanations of the Ninety-Five Theses, pg. 183 of Luther's Works, Vol. 31

Man, this guy was HARSH!!!! He makes Andrew Dice Clay and Don Rickles look like puddy-tats!

[cbayer]

10. I think I might really like to be a herdsman.

Yes, he was extremely harsh. Would hate to get on his bad side.

[struggle4progress]

11. This is great! Now I will be able to quote Luther during our arguments in Bible study!

[Adsos Letter]

12. "You forgot to purge yourself with hellabore while you were preparing to fabricate this lie."

I'm using this one next time I'm on a jury and vote to Hide.