Religion
Related: About this forumObituaries and Proselytization
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/anantanand-rambachan/obituaries-and-proselytization_b_2945426.htmlWe recently lost a beloved family elder. He lived out his life within the structures of meaning and ritual provided by the Hindu tradition. These guided his commitment to work, his devotion to family, and his sense of justice. The beginning and the end of his life were marked by traditional Hindu ceremonies. He was a paragon of fidelity and a repository of rich life experiences that he shared passionately in stories with receptive grandchildren.
In spite of changes and differences in geographical practice, the Hindu tradition is still domestic centered. For most of us, the home is the focus of religious life and worship and the location for the performance of those profound rituals that mark the life-stages: birth, marriage, and death. Since funeral ceremonies are performed at home, it is customary, in Hindu obituaries, to mention the address, identify the funeral ritual as Hindu and specify the place of cremation.
We received many cards, notes and letters of sympathy in the days following the funeral ceremony. There were several, however, from persons whose names and addresses we did not recognize. Each one was structured in a similar way. The writer opened with words of sympathy, making mention of many personal details from the obituary. This was followed by Biblical texts about the way to eternal life and reunion with loved ones. The letters spoke of punishment for unbelievers but also of the promise of salvation from effects of sin "through the ransom sacrifice of ...Jesus Christ." The letters included published Christian literature. We quickly realized that these Christian letter-writers searched newspaper obituaries with the aim of identifying families belonging to other religious traditions with the aim of proselytization. We learned also that this was not unusual and that Hindus experiencing death in their families regularly received such invitations to convert. Hindus that I spoke with shrugged it off, brushing it aside as something that one should expect from Christians. While unhappy, they seemed resigned, treating it as one of those unwelcome features of life in a religiously diverse society that one learns to accept and tolerate. "This is what Christians do," said several of them.
The response of my fellow Hindus troubled me, just as much as the letters that we received. Although it is true that this is what some Christians do, it is important that we see how unusual this is from the perspective of other religions. Most of the practitioners of the world's religions do not read daily obituaries to identify potential converts! As a Hindu, I am familiar with the religious motive of sharing one's tradition and I welcome opportunities to learn about and from other traditions. At the same time, there are appropriate and inappropriate ways, times, and contexts for sharing. Sharing in the Hindu tradition occurred, and still does, in response to a request for religious teaching made by a student to a teacher. It was felt that religious teaching was best shared in a dialogical relationship of mutual listening, questioning and receptivity. Some Christians, like these letter writers, assume a religious need in the other for Christianity and make no effort to understand the religious life of the other. They conclude wrongly that traditions other than Christianity have no good resources and insights for helping their practitioners understand and cope with the loss of a loved one and they appeal to fear of punishment as a basis for religious commitment. They are driven by their need to convert the other and not by the need of the other for conversion. Christians will understand better our discomfort by taking our places and imagining themselves as recipients of invitations, from Hindus, to convert in the midst of grief for a loved one.
Bad Thoughts
(2,524 posts)Preying on those who suffer.
catbyte
(34,377 posts)of the most obnoxious, tone deaf people on the planet. Not all, obviously, but certainly the thoughtless, presumptious ones who felt the need to intrude on your grief. I wish they would respect others--especially when they are grieving a loved one. I am sorry that happened to you.
Manifestor_of_Light
(21,046 posts)chervilant
(8,267 posts)might consider getting their own house in order before they proselytize to those who believe a different way.
At least, I've not had a follower of Hinduism try to convert my atheist soul...
rug
(82,333 posts)The only time I read obituaries with an ulterior motive was when I lived in Manhattan and was looking for a newly vacant rent controlled apartment. Never got one though.
edhopper
(33,575 posts)They are just following what their faith tells them to do.
How can their faith be wrong?
demwing
(16,916 posts)you know it is
skepticscott
(13,029 posts)is simply pointing out some of the deep hypocrisy among religionists here. Nothing inappropriate about that.
demwing
(16,916 posts)You are one of the most judgemental people on DU.
Justify insensitivity all you like. I hope it brings you peace.
skepticscott
(13,029 posts)claiming the moral high ground by saying that attacking, belittling or denigrating people for their faith and their beliefs is wrong and that they'll fight against that every time they see it. I merely point out the hypocrisy of those who do, but seem to only come out from under their rocks when it's an atheist on the other end. Apparently religious people mocking and denigrating other religious people with different beliefs that are just as strong as theirs get a free pass.
And as far as "insensitivity" is concerned...tell you what...point out a few people here who had their feelings deeply hurt by that response. Then we'll talk about whether your accusation of "insensitivity" has even a grain of merit, or whether it's just more flinging of poo.
edhopper
(33,575 posts)While I find this behavior repulsive as well, aren't these people just following their faith and doing what their god compels them to do?
Should we try to dissuade them that their faith is wrong?
Bad Thoughts
(2,524 posts)as it is resistance to action that the other is trying to take.
edhopper
(33,575 posts)abhorrent things as long as they don't act on it?
are some thoughts OK, and others on the "Not-Approved" thought list?
edhopper
(33,575 posts)so it becomes a abstract discussion.
But if you weren't interested in persuading what people think, I doubt you would be on this board.
demwing
(16,916 posts)and I disagree with your premise here. I know I don't act on every thought and belief that crosses my mind, do you?
edhopper
(33,575 posts)why talk in absolutes? I used the word dissuade. Do you assume i was talking about some Orwellian mind control?
demwing
(16,916 posts)Dissuade v. Persuade
But of course people act on their thoughts and beliefs so it becomes a abstract discussion.
But if you weren't interested in persuading what people think, I doubt you would be on this board.
As you can see, in the posts we are discussing you most certainly did not write dissuade. You wrote persuade--and while you may not have specified "every thought," neither did you say anything that indicated limits on the thoughts to which you referred.
You confusion about the content of your own posts makes communicating with you extremely difficult. Take a break, we can finish this later.
edhopper
(33,575 posts)read the posts i was responding to.
If my replies are not clear, I apologize, but I lack to energy to get into semantics.
dis·suade
/diˈswād/
Verb
Persuade (someone) not to take a particular course of action:
Bad Thoughts
(2,524 posts)It puts it into the realm of interpersonal relations, and the actions can be judged on that basis. I'm not sure that Christians are required to proslytize at all cost, but I suspect that social decorum matters.
ETA: conversely, acting in that matter suggests that the other person does not respect my rituals and practices. I owe less to such a person.
demwing
(16,916 posts)though I'd have to say that the answer is no. There is nothing in the bible where Jesus recommends "show contempt for others, as that path leads to salvation."
Nope.
The Velveteen Ocelot
(115,683 posts)how on earth do they expect to convert anybody by writing an obnoxious letter upon learning of the death of a family member and threatening the grieving family with eternal damnation if they don't convert? I can't imagine this is a very good sales pitch...
el_bryanto
(11,804 posts)I don't know - does it make a difference if the person is someone you already know? It seems like it would to me, but then again someone who knew this person would probably handle it more sensitively.
Bryant