I give the orders around here.

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Pope Francis has dismissed the head of the Swiss Guard because he thought he was too strict.

In a dispassionate one-sentence notice, the Vatican’s official newspaper, L’Osservatore Romano, announced on Wednesday that Daniel Anrig will no longer serve as the commandant of the 500-year-old corps after the end of next month

The 77-year-old pope is said to have been appalled recently to have emerged one morning from his private suite of rooms to find that a Swiss Guard had been standing guard all night.

“Sit down,” he told the young guardsman, to which the soldier said: “I can’t, it’s against orders.”

The Pope replied: “I give the orders around here,” and promptly went off to buy a cappuccino for the exhausted soldier.