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(32,822 posts)
Thu Dec 14, 2017, 02:16 AM Dec 2017

My AA sponsor and my oldest AA buddy are both dying

I went to my meeting and my buddy was sitting across from me moaning in pain. His hands started turning blue and he soon asked to be taken out of the meeting and driven home. He's got heart problems and pneumonia.

A few minutes later it was announced that my sponsor is in hospital and not expected to leave. I had no idea he was ill but he's got liver cancer.

The rest of the meeting was a blur.

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My AA sponsor and my oldest AA buddy are both dying (Original Post) TrogL Dec 2017 OP
I am sorry to hear about people you care about.... chillfactor Dec 2017 #1
Oh, I am so sorry! Rhiannon12866 Dec 2017 #2
I have known and know many that are chronic alcoholics. democratisphere Dec 2017 #3
Both have decades of sobriety TrogL Dec 2017 #12
So sorry, TrogL. democrank Dec 2017 #4
That must be devastating for you. I'm so sorry. Laffy Kat Dec 2017 #5
Wow, that's pretty harsh TrogL. denbot Dec 2017 #6
So sorry TrogL MaryMagdaline Dec 2017 #7
So sorry. Stay strong. yankeepants Dec 2017 #8
Sorry to hear this mate ... mr_lebowski Dec 2017 #9
someone is always here on DU for you, Trogl Skittles Dec 2017 #10
I am so sorry for your loss. A sponsor is like a family member but better Maraya1969 Dec 2017 #11
Went to see my sponsor in hospital on the 15th. He died that night TrogL Dec 2017 #13


(7,610 posts)
1. I am sorry to hear about people you care about....
Thu Dec 14, 2017, 02:20 AM
Dec 2017

I lost my husband and I understand the grief and sadness you are going through!


(210,079 posts)
2. Oh, I am so sorry!
Thu Dec 14, 2017, 02:26 AM
Dec 2017

I know how tough it is to watch this happen to those who have given back so much and deserve so much better. My AA sponsor is also very unwell - she now has aides with her on a daily basis and has gone from using a walker to a wheelchair everywhere she goes. And she has helped so many over the years - including me. I don't know what I would have done without her. She took me in hand and told me what to do.

You sure have my sympathy - but you're doing the absolutely right thing, talking about it and getting support from those who understand and care. I certainly do...


(17,235 posts)
3. I have known and know many that are chronic alcoholics.
Thu Dec 14, 2017, 02:33 AM
Dec 2017

It is very sad to watch these people destroy themselves over the decades of alcohol abuse. I am sorry for your friends fate; I know it is not easy.


(9,904 posts)
6. Wow, that's pretty harsh TrogL.
Thu Dec 14, 2017, 04:15 AM
Dec 2017

A double blow, on top of witnessing a long time friend and fellow fall ill. You have my best wishes for you and yours.



(33,643 posts)
9. Sorry to hear this mate ...
Thu Dec 14, 2017, 04:19 AM
Dec 2017

I got no sage advice, just ... keep on keeping on, one day at a time ... and don't drink over it, obviously.

Thoughts today for your friend & your sponsor. I'm sure they're both wonderful people. Hope things turn around or at minimum, they pass peacefully, surrounded by love and friends.

Take care of yourself ...


(32,822 posts)
13. Went to see my sponsor in hospital on the 15th. He died that night
Sun Dec 24, 2017, 07:58 PM
Dec 2017

Glad I went to see him but it was a horrific experience.

Turns out he was in isolation so the nurses helped me get all gowned, masked and gloved up. I told him who I was because I wasn't sure he could recognize me under all that. He seemed to acknowledge me but it was really hard to understand him. He was having trouble breathing and was on oxygen with little tubes in his nostrils.

Suddenly there was some lady poking around the room with no mask or anything. I chased her out and looked for her purse. A nurse intercepted her and guided her to the room next door. While I was distracted, my sponsor had taken off his oxygen and was out of bed but had gotten tangled up in other tubing. I got him back to bed and yelled for help. Immediately the room was full of nurses getting him back in bed, reattaching hoses and getting his O2 levels back under control. It took several minutes for the machines to stop bleeping and flashing lights.

Then his brother and nephew showed up so I left, figuring he was in good hands. I heard that he had passed at the Sunday meeting and the Wednesday home group meeting was a wake. Craftygal attended his funeral on Thursday.

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