Is it normal to just want to sleep all the time?
I am mentally and emotionally worn out.
My brother died in mid-January. He was my only sibling and our parents died many years ago. Never married, no kids. He was 67. He was not in great health but I did not expect this.
He had two women living in his apartment to help with rent. Luckily they called 911 when he had trouble breathing. One called me on his cell phone -- I had no idea who these women were -- to let me know but was hysterical so a cop took over the phone and explained the situation.
I arranged for his cremation over the phone and email. Still waiting for his ashes. No cause of death yet - the medical examiner has a huge backlog and so does the lab.
He was always hitting me up for money, claiming he had no food left. It turned out he was not only getting paid $200-$300 a week plus a monthly sales commission at his job, plus collecting Social Security, plus having these roommates helping with rent, but he was also hitting up friends for money. One friend finally disclosed to me that he had never given up his cocaine habit, as he had sworn to me many years ago. I felt like I had been hit across the stomach with a wooden plank. Part of me is so damn angry at him.
Now his financial sob stories made sense and I feel like a complete fool. I knew he smoked a lot of weed as well as cigarettes, and I recently had told him he ought to cut down on tobacco as it was ridiculously expensive and not good for his health.
The "boyfriend" of one of the women contacted me about Pete's belongings. I can't drive well enough any more to drive 250 miles to Paterson NJ by myself. And I'm terrified to go there - there's a lot of violent crime. My husband couldn't take time off from work.
I told the guy they could keep or sell anything of my brothers but asked them to please mail me his personal papers and photos, and I would reimburse them. They sold his non-working car to salvage for a few hundred dollars, but my brother owned nothing of value to the best of my knowledge, just a disassembled motorcycle, and some crummy furniture and a tv, which they were welcome to. This saved me the nightmare of having to go there and clean the place out. Still haven't got his papers, but the guy texted that he'd been injured in a car accident a week ago and didn't have a car anymore.
Meanwhile our whole front yard is dug up to replace a badly eroded 50-plus year old sewer line. It's costing an insane amount of money. We can't do laundry and it's taking twice as long as they said, and a good part of my flower garden is destroyed, which depresses me even more.
And to my sorrow, someone I considered a long time close friend responded to my Facebook post about my brother with a short sympathetic reply and nothing more. No phone call, no email, nothing. I can't understand it and feel like maybe the few people I consider close friends aren't all as close as I thought they were. My husband and daughter have been great, but I've been taking long naps, even two a day, and never did that before. I just feel so lonely - my brother and I talked often and he always had a lot of great jokes.
I'm going to be 70 in a few weeks and I feel so old and tired. Everything seems futile.
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Sending you 
My only thoughts are to try and push yourself to get outside a bit weather permitting. Sunlight and fresh air are therapeutic to me. Also finding a grief support group when you feel up to it.
When the weather is warm I spend a lot of time working in the garden. Can't do much walking, alas.
Thank you, cayugafalls
I was wondering whether it was just from getting older, but it feels different from physical tiredness.
Thank you
You don't owe anyone an explanation for how you feel, so just be for a while and get enjoyment from whatever you can.
You'll probably get tired of sleeping and will look for things that might interest you. You're hanging out at a good place. There are lots of different forums on DU that are dedicated to all sorts of interests. Look around and see if there's something you might like. Art, music, books, TV shows, movies ..... There's a world of worlds out there to lose yourself in.
So you can sleep or you can eat or learn to paint or read books. People say it's a small world, but it's big too, and there are worlds inside of worlds. I'm hoping the best for you during this time, and I hope you use it to help you grow. That's the best thing any of us can do in a situation like this. 
I lost a Brother last year and we had a very complicated relationship as well. I mourned the little boy he used to be and the goodness & pureness of siblings. I loved him always but many times over the years I did not like or agree with him.
I am 72 and I understand about aging too. Sometimes life is just hard. 
Try and concentrate on what you have, and be happy you had a relationship worth mourning .
Sometimes friends don’t live up to what we imagine they should, forgive them and hope if you have misstep at some point they will do the same for you.
I hope everyday gets easier
Grieving is hard work physically, as well as emotionally & psychologically.
There is no timeline for resolving grief & the stages of grief are not linear.
Please be kind to yourself & gentle with yourself.
Please consider contacting a hospice for bereavement therapy. They receive special training to help those whose hearts are aching from grief & will provide 13 months of bereavement therapy free to support you through the "year of firsts," holidays, birthdays, etc.
Hospice might also offer groups, perhaps for people whose siblings have passed on, perhaps even virtually.
I'm so sorry for your loss & the mess in your yard.
You might want to give Yale's free Science of Well Being class here:
https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being?utm_source=gg&utm_medium=sem&utm_campaign=09-ScienceofWellBeing-US&utm_content=B2C&campaignid=9728548210&adgroupid=119657127259&device=m&keyword=&matchtype=&network=g&devicemodel=&adpostion=&creativeid=506816645212&hide_mobile_promo&gclid=CjwKCAiA6Y2QBhAtEiwAGHybPY36DRrz0Rx4992ZRrBj4fLqS0GGh-ervUQ_2WdG0j4aQZVuwU-_NBoC6iIQAvD_BwE
DUers who have tried it say they felt better after even the 1st video, which is available immediately after a very brief registration.
Maybe beginning to plan your new garden might be an uplifting activity that isn't strenuous.
I hope you feel better soon.
Kinda normal, with mourning, to be tired, I'd say.
You may need some deep rest.
The tearing up of property, or remodel is always messy and unsettling. And a sense of not having control, too. Your friend could be dealing with unknown things in their lives? I find so many folks have unseen challenges these days--w the stretch out of the pandemic. I think of it as an uneven platform, then we get piled on by the universe, and there---you feel over wrought.
Most of all, you miss you brother. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. DU is a good place to stay connected though. Give yourself some grace too. Sending hugs.
And yes, it's absolutely normal to want to sleep. You are truly exhausted, and it's the exhausted brain much more than the body, that needs rest. Take your time, take all the time you need, and slowly a sense of something approaching a semblance of a new normality will begin to take shape.
The lack of joy -- or even just balancing positive news -- is a constant in my life too. Every day for the last five years, I wake up to some new horror, either on a national or a personal level. So I have started to try to find smiles in little places. I start my morning by watching Jimmy Kimmel's monologue from the night before. I watch that Yukon Sikh dancing every day. I look for tiny moments, really that's all there is -- little moments -- of humor, joy or happiness. There's no balance, that's for sure. Five years of the insanity of the GQP, plus the pandemic, plus the personal tragedies that you're experiencing, are real issues that take a real slamming toll.
I hope fervently that with time you will feel better. I hope that for all of us.
I'm glad that your husband and daughter are a source of strength for you. Losing a sibling is hard. Give yourself some time, and if you want to nap, nap.
Also, don't count your garden out yet. Several years ago I had to have the two cement steps between the sidewalk and the walkway in my front yard repaired. This necessitated digging up part of the flower bed on one side and part of the grass on the other. When they finished, the steps looked fine, but the sides were a colossal mess. I didn't have the energy to deal with it, so I just smoothed out the dirt, promised myself I would think about it in the spring and let it go. Lo and behold, come spring, most of the stuff came up just like it was supposed to, except for some daffodils which came up on the opposite side of the steps, and an iris which I definitely didn't plant under the tree next to the walkway. Although, they looked very pretty there, so I left them.
Time has a way of healing things, and even if they're changed, it can still be okay.
Everyone does in different ways, and sleeping is a big part of dealing with it, and the depression involved. Feel free to whack anybody that tells you to just snap out of it.
We are here for you, Wicked Blue. Years ago, when I had a different name on here, another member paid for me to fly back to KY from CA for my Dad's funeral. I was down and out at the time. Mostly out of it. He actually made the flight arrangements, and took care of everything. I don't know if he is still on DU, because I don't remember the name, or much of anything from that time, but I will be eternally grateful to him. (Please PM me if you remember being an angel, when I was Dodadem).
DU'ers are the best! Lean on us.
…if you can get into grief counseling with them. They were a big help to my daughter and her 5 year old son when her baby died of SIDS.
I am so sorry for what you are going through.
This shit's exhausting, and if that's what you need to do to cope and get through this for the short term, I'm not going to tell you shouldn't. However, if it continues, or you find yourself unable to face even small tasks, please see someone. Even situational depression needs treatment.
You have my condolences on all counts.
