Dear Hillary ...
I hope you take the following as “constructive criticism”. These tips come from the mainstream media, internet sites, twitter, etc. – in other words, people who know far more about politics than you ever will.
You need to smile more – but only at the exact right moment. Even the slightest upturning of the corners of your mouth four seconds too soon will be deemed as not taking your bid for the presidency seriously. Holding a smile four seconds too long signals that you are being insincere. So watch it.
You need to change your wardrobe. Never forget that in today’s world, no one is as interested in sound foreign policy as they are in what you’re wearing while talking about foreign policy. An ill-chosen string of pearls could very well keep you out of the Oval Office, so be particularly vigilant when accessorizing.
You need to choose your words more carefully. Actually speaking the truth about Trump and his “basket of deplorable” supporters is a big no-no. It’s not that what you said is “politically incorrect” – it’s just that being truthful has become politically incorrect. This rule applies to every topic: avoid coming off as truthful and straightforward at all costs. Voters don’t like the truth – they prefer bullshit. Why else would fully-scripted “reality” shows be so popular? Drop the honesty and go full Real Wives of Ex-Presidents. (If you could arrange a cat-fight between you and Laura Bush, your poll numbers would soar! Seriously.)
You need to be less “shrill”. That means stop raising your voice. It also means stop lowering your voice. It also means stop using your voice at all. Given the criticism you’ve received over the sound of your voice, perhaps being the First Mime Candidate is a far more historic achievement than being the First Woman Candidate. Think about it.
You need to be warmer. But not so warm as to come off as clingy – more like a distant warmth – but not too distant, because then you look aloof – but a little aloof is good, too. If you’re not aloof enough, you come off as pandering. But if you’re too aloof, you’re seen as cold and uncaring. (Honestly, we really don’t have any useful advice here – because, let’s face it, no matter what you do, it’s going to be OMG! What a cold-hearted, aloof, pandering, bleeding-heart liberal, pushover for the People, sucker-for-a-sob-story, warmongering, peace-loving bitch she turned out to be! anyway.)
You need to stop throwing actual facts around. People don’t want facts; they want to know how creative you can be avoiding facts, or how imaginative you can be fabricating your own. Look to your opponent – now there’s a man who knows how to bullshit! Learn from him, grasshopper.
You need to be more accessible to the media. Although the News Bobbleheads on TV will distort whatever you’ve said anyway, they feel much better about themselves if they’re actually mis-quoting you instead of just making shit up about what you would have said if you’d met with them. Word to the wise, Hill – word to the wise.
Above all, you need to stop doing whatever you’re doing. It’s all wrong. It doesn’t scan well. The optics are terrible. You’re saying all the wrong things - and when you say the right things, you're saying them in the wrong way.
You're totally blowin’ it. You know that, right?
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No matter what Hillary does and says, she is going to be hammered by the oligarchy's hired talking heads on TeeVee and Hate Radio. I am expecting it to get even nastier as the weeks go by. We have never seen so much vile behavior from a candidate, his staff and the supporters who reflect his cruelty.
I hope DumDum makes a total ass of himself in the debates, and no amount of "Lauer-ing" by moderators can keep the humiliation from him. I'm sick of the way she's treated with so much pearl clutching if she says anything tough, and he can go around talking like a half drunk golfer at the country club, and it's "hahaha... our boy is so unafraid to say what's on his mind! He's just joking, ya know!"
But you omitted advising Hillary on her hair-style ... although I admit that there hasn't been quite as much in the M$M about that as when Bill first ran for President in 1992.
Hillary; damned if you do, and how you do it, damned if you don't and how you don't. With the attacks Hillary has been under the last 30 odd years she can handle it, though. It'll also make her a better president in the long run.
As always Nance, spot on!
You rock, Mom! 
Thank you~
