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Sun Sep 29, 2013, 10:05 PM

Breaking Bag

Story of faux everyman Ivy leaguer named Ted Cruz who, along with his Bagger buddy Mike Lee, mixed up a slop of government stopping, health care hating, Fox news worshiping verbal vomitus that spewed forth to contaminate two houses of Congress. This contamination will require extensive renovation to both Houses beginning now and ending in 2014.

Note: Signs of Bagger addiction include: voting against your own economic self-interest, spelling protest signs badly, never turning off Faux news, having Rush Slimebaugh as your only radio preset, stating loudly that guvmint should stay out of your Medicare, sporting Support the Troops stickers on gas guzzling Escalades, and ruining Thanksgiving dinners for everyone with your incoherent, spit laden rants.

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