Hillary Clinton To Nation: ‘Do Not Fuck This Up For Me’

[Katashi_itto]

WASHINGTON—After several seconds spent sitting motionless and glaring directly into the camera, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton reportedly began Sunday’s video announcing her 2016 presidential bid by warning the nation not to fuck this up for her.

“Listen up, assholes, ’cause I’m only saying this once: I’ve worked way too goddamn hard to let you morons blow this thing for me,” said Clinton, repeatedly jabbing her index finger toward the viewers at home while adding that if they thought she was going to simply sit back and watch them dick her over like they did in 2008, they were out of their fucking minds.

“Seriously, don’t you dare even think about it. If you shitheads can just get in line, we can breeze through this whole campaign in 19 months and be done with it. Or, if you really want, we can do this the hard way. Because make no mistake, I’m not fucking around. Got it?” Clinton then ended her announcement by vowing to fight for a better future for all working-class families like the one she grew up in.

http://www.theonion.com/article/hillary-clinton-to-nation-do-not-fuck-this-up-for--38416

[Thinkingabout]

1. bookmarking

[tularetom]

2. You did see what the link linked to, right?

[Thinkingabout]

8. yes, what is to keep me from bookmarking it.

[freshwest]

11. It encapsules the 'Hillary is the ultimate evil' meme. K&R. Bookmarking for the LULZ! n/t

[Katashi_itto]

7. Glad to know you bookmarked this!

[JaneyVee]

3. LOL. KNR!

[Hydra]

4. *lmao*

Trust the Onion. :p

[Autumn]

6. Yeah it's the Onion but...

[ismnotwasm]

10. Oh you

[polichick]

12. This stuff only works when it's close to the truth - this one works.

[freshwest]

13. The ability to laugh about one's self/beliefs is good. 'Don't believe everything you think.' n/t

[restorefreedom]

14. even though it is the onion

sounds like it could be true.

that's good satire.

(sigh) missing steve colbert.....

[Gothmog]

15. I love the Onion