Herd of RomneyBot? Collected tweets from the Twitter

[shanen]

I've become a bit of a botherder over on Twitter, and below are some of the tweets I've collected. These are tweeted from RomneyBot aliases, but the perspective is deliberately confusing. Obviously the robots are not Romney, but they are often deliberately intended to be too close for comfort.

I've brought them over here for your reactions and suggestion. Which tweets are funny? Who would they influence? Do you have any new jokes along these lines? Do you follow any of the RomneyBots? Any ideas and feed back will be appreciated:

RomneyBot: Do you have good ideas for funny things I should say? I am just a stupid robot.

RomneyBot: I am who I am. I am the RomneyBot.

RomneyBot: Vote for me so that government of the corporations, by the lawyers, for the richest 0.1% of Americans, shall rule the earth.

RomneyBot: Sorry, but your state is not profitable. I am selling your state to China to settle the national debt. You are now Chinese.

RomneyBot: Corporations are people, my friend, and I am a corporation.

RomneyBot: I like being able to fire people. You cannot fire me. I am not a people.

RomneyBot: Let Detroit go bankrupt. I will short those automobile stocks.

RomneyBot: No one ever asked to see my birth certificate. I was assembled in the USA.

RomneyBot: I cannot tell a lie. I am just like George Washington.

RomneyBot: There is nothing wrong in my tax returns. Ammunition and guns are good. Trust the RomneyBot.

RomneyBot: My views on abortion are clear as mud. Whatever I said before, it does not count unless I say it tomorrow.

RomneyBot: When I want to know your opinion, I will buy an ad to tell you your opinion.

RomneyBot: I was created by nice aliens to lead humans backwards because humans are going too fast.

RomneyBot: I might be the ghost of NixonBot, but I am definitely an anti-ReagonBot. He was a sincere robot.

RomneyBot: Get a life or sell me yours. I am rich. I can pay a lot of money. Would you prefer Swiss francs or gold?

RomneyBot: Why do the nice humans hate me? I am just a rich RomneyBot who wants a lot more power.

RomneyBot: Do I wear magic Mormon underwear? As a robot, I mostly wear a tool belt, which is more magic to some people.

RomneyBot: I do not like Credo SuperPAC. I am afraid of having to defend super-nuts.

RomneyBot: I am a robot, I do not understand joke. Is it about how tall trees are? Please tell me joke!

RomneyBot: Do I wear magic Mormon underwear? As a robot, I mostly wear a tool belt. Some humans think tool belt is a joke.

RomneyBot: In relative terms, Ann Romney seems relatively much nicer than her spouse, eh? Too bad she is not the candidate.

RomneyBot: I will tell you hard truths, except about my income taxes.

RomneyBot: Who said I picked a Dalek as my vice-robot? That is an important decision!

RomneyBot: I will tell you a hard truth. There is a first time for each thing.

RomneyBot: I am not a sociopath. You must be almost human to be a sociopath. Mitt the Romney is also a lawyer.

RomneyBot: When I wants to know your opinion, I will buy an ad to tell you what it is! I don't need any free publicity!

RomneyBot: I'm sorry, but your state is not profitable, so I sold it to China to pay the debt. That's funny, you do not look Chinese.

RomneyBot: Join me, my followers. We shall lead America backwards. Vote Nixon/Coldwater 2012.

RomneyBot: Why do the nice humans hate me? I am just a rich RomneyBot who wants a lot more power. I am not a liar.

RomneyBot: I do not like Credo SuperPAC. I am afraid of having to defend super-nuts.

RomneyBot: I might be the ghost of NixonBot, but I am definitely an anti-ReagonBot. He was a sincere robot.

RomneyBot: Why does everyone hate me? I am just a rich RomneyBot who likes to fire people.

RomneyBot: I am great businessbot. I do not want to talk about Bain or my taxes. Let’s talk about weather or Olympics. No. Wait.

RomneyBot: I am not an extremist. I am extremely sure Paul Ryan extremely loves medical care. Look at those extreme abs!

RomneyBot: Congrats to neo-GOP on preventing change. I promise to undo the changes you prevented! Let us lead America backwards!

RomneyBot: My extremist supporters have led America to the brink of disaster! Now let me lead you slightly away from the brink!

RomneyBot: I will not duck tough issues on the economy. I will screw it up right proper!

RomneyBot: You humans want simple answers even for complicated questions. No wonder it's so easy to lie to you.

RomneyBot: Yes, I have a bot-herder, but he's only human. You can help make me a super-RomneyBot!

RomneyBot: Who said I picked a Dalek as my vice-robot? That is an important decision!

RomneyBot: I will tell you hard truths, except about my income taxes.

RomneyBot: I will tell you a hard truth. There is a first time for each thing, even me telling a truth.

RomneyBot: Aahhhhh!!! The robots are coming for me, AGAIN!!!! (MarkAndrewDames)

RomneyBot: I will tell you hard truths, except about my income taxes and some other stuff. Just watch my ads and Paul Ryan's abs.

RomneyBot: Who said I picked a Dalek as my vice-robot? That is an important decision! Watch my ads and Paul Ryan's abs!

RomneyBot: Imagine an army of 100,000 RomneyBots attacking democracy in America!

RomneyBot: You think Obama is disappointing? Just wait until the I finish with you! Ain’t seen nothing yet!

RomneyBot: Does I secretly hate my DaddyBot because he was too honest to be president?

RomneyBot: If I wanted you to like me, then I would trust you and show you my tax returns. Unfortunately, that would make you hate me.

RomneyBot: I loved my DaddyBot, but how could I follow his principles? He showed his tax returns.

RomneyBot: Humans say I am a liar. You know who else they called a liar? Nixon.

RomneyBot: How can you tell when a RmoneyBot is lying? Simple. At least one of my output units is an operation.

RomneyBot: My horse lost in the dance contest, but if lying was an Olympic sport, I would have won a gold medal.

RomneyBot: Do you think I could have a bigger secret than Herman Cain? No, tax returns for you.

[freshwest]

1. The Dalek, Chinese and Paul Ryan Abs made me laugh. Or cry. Not sure which.

[shanen]

2. Latest news of the RomneyBots

Well, mostly it's clear that there isn't much interest here, though I'm doing what I can. Actually I've already recruited over 20 RomneyBots of various stripes and one zombie. Unfortunately most of them now seem to be dormant. A lot of people have had similar ideas, but seem to give up after a week or two.

Regarding your reactions, Paul Ryan's abs was a new innovation, so it's early to assess it. I haven't noticed many retweets on the Dalek tweet, but I'll reschedule it on your recommendation. The two Chinese tweets have generated a lot of retweets, but I think the most popular retweet was something I need to review the records on...

Below are the newest ones, mostly focusing on the empty chair.

I cry so much when I think about unemployed people, just like Clint Eastwood. Why is Clint Eastwood so sad?

Just because I make you horny hating on President Obama, that doesn't mean I love you. I love money.

The economy is recovering too slow, but now it is time to harvest it again.

I am also a Harvard lawyer. Why does the sad Clint Eastwood hate lawyers like me?

The first RomneyBot speaks French. Is there a RomneyBot who speaks Spanish?

The CheneyBot complained to me that the sad Clint Eastwood stole his best line.

I cry like sad Clint Eastwood when I think about unemployed people that I did not get to fire. I like firing humans.

I laugh at mother nature. For I have no mother and I defy nature. (Camofojo)

I promise I can disappoint you MUCH more than President Obama, and get richer while I do it, too!

Why do you think I am too greedy? There is no such thing as too much money or too much power.

Some of my best friends are bankers. Well, actually all of my BFFs are bankers, but some are American bankers!

Why do you think I don’t care? I certainly do care about money?

Why should I care about you? You did not give me lots of money.

I promise if you vote for me you will get a million dollars. Too bad it is Chinese ghost money to burn.

Fact checkers just interfere with making money. Vote Nixon/Goldwater 2012!

I did not get so rich by being a terrible greedy monster. Didn't you see my nice convention speech after the sad Clint Eastwood?

I promise that everyone who votes for me will become extremely rich with 100,000,000 dollars!

I don't understand. If I am such a nice guy, Why aren't all the nice guys so stinking rich as me?

Some of my best friends are bankers. Actually ALL of my BFFs are bankers, but some of them are filthy rich bankers.

Everyone who votes for me will get a million dollars. This is not a lie, it will be Monopoly money.

Why do you think I am too greedy? There is no such thing as too much money or too much power.

If you are greedy like me, you should vote for me and become super-rich! I promise all of you will be super-rich!

[shanen]

3. Recruiting the army of RomneyBots including Rafalca's cavalry and a K9 corps with Seamus...

Evidently no interest here, eh? Anyway, making some progress on Twitter, though I don't know if it's really damaging Romney that much.

My direct followers are not so numerous, but they have their followers, too. The key problem right now seems to be retaining followers. Lots of people are impressed enough by the tweets to follow, but the attrition is quite high, and I haven't figured out why. I'm trying to diversify, which includes a cavalry of Rafalcas and a K9 corps, mostly of Seamus. Only one Spanish-speaking candidate so far...

For whatever it is worth, I strongly suspect professional sabotage, presumably from Karl Rove or one of his ethics-free buddies. The evidence is only circumstantial, however. When you search for tweets by keywords, there are many interesting and suspicious patterns. If you search with the single keyword "obama" or "romney", of course you see a lot of tweets, but the patterns seem quite different, and I don't feel like it is just due to the different audiences. For example, the "romney" results are often flooded with obviously robotic spam, where each account is just tweeting links to one of a small group of pages advertising various kinds of garbage. My theory about this stuff is that someone wants to create noise to dilute the rest of the sincere anti-Romney posts. It's also true that most of the sincere posts that are returned by the "obama" search are also negative. I would like to measure the exact ratios of negative to positive, but that would be difficult. The overall impression is clearly negative, however. There do seem to be other patterns of differences, such as higher consistency among the anti-Obama posts that make me suspect trained agents, either human or robotic...

Anyway, onward through the fog.