Can A Man Be A Feminist If All He Wants To Do Is Bang You?

[ismnotwasm]

This isn’t Andy Hinds; this is Ryan Gosling. Ryan loves you for your brain; Andy loves you for your vagina.

Yesterday Slate posted an article by Andy Hinds, in which the self-proclaimed feminist admitted to wanting to fuck every woman in sight.

I’m a stay-at-home dad to twin 4-year-old girls who are already smarter than me, and my wife is a brilliant doctor who kicks ass and saves lives every day. I grew up with big sisters and a mom whose authority was unbreachable. I celebrate every inroad that women make into business, technology, science, politics, comedy, you name it, and I get angry about “slut-shaming” or “stereotype threat” or whatever is the affront du jour. And yet, in the caveman recesses of my imagination, I objectify women in ways that make Hooters look like a breakout session at a NOW conference.

From that first paragraph, he continues on about his “condition,” and pretty much his inability to go anywhere without having sexual thoughts about any woman he finds attractive. The gym? Well, that’s “tricky.” Yoga class? Oh, forget about it with all those women in yoga pants! Even sitting at the traffic light is a feat for Hinds!

So, how is he dealing with this ailment, you ask? ”Instead of undressing them with my eyes, I’m cloaking them in imaginary burqas,” writes Hinds. It’s just so much easier for him to cover these women up, than see them as something other than a place to stick his dick.

Not surprisingly, his essay brought out some very strong opinions. How the hell could this man dare to call himself a feminist, and yet he’s running around objectifying women all day long?

Hinds’ “lustily imagined paean to penis,” as New York Magazine‘s Maureen O’Connor called it, even evoked some thoughts of violence:

I’m a woman. I read Slate. I grew up on wacky explainers about race horses peeing. I play the Slate news quiz every Friday, and marvel at the scores of my favorite Slate writers. And yet, deep in the vaginal recesses of my female imagination, I fantasize about tearing Slate writer Andy Hinds limb from limb. Andy Hinds does not deserve to be torn limb from limb.



Read more: http://www.thegloss.com/2013/05/31/culture/so-called-feminist-andy-hinds-wants-to-bang-you/#ixzz2UvevClHy

[BainsBane]

1. Better not to call himself a feminist

Or to write about lusting in his heart. Some things people should keep to themselves. Imagine how his wife feels. I'd recommend he find something interesting to do to eat up some of that pent up energy.

[ismnotwasm]

3. The article referenced is just Hinds being very asshole.

Not sure why he wrote it, I think it's supposed to be a satirical swipe at sexual 'prudes' but instead he ends up looking like the biggest creeper in the world.

Ryan Gosling memes just crack me up.

[BainsBane]

4. I briefly looked at the original article

He talks about a Louis CK set and then over-shares about his own longings. Truthfully, I don't trust when men refer to themselves as feminists. I remember a woman in Brazil who ran a women's center at a university saying if you meet a man who calls himself a feminist, run. Perhaps it's not fair, but I think there is some truth in that.

[ismnotwasm]

6. I still think he's just being an ass

If he's actually "over sharing" then he's got serious issues.

I have no problem with male feminists. I just think it shouldn't be that hard to figure out when one is being an sexist idiot. If nothing else practicing common courtesy should get anyone through the day.

[BainsBane]

7. absolutely

That seems to get lost in the discussion of being "PC." It's basic manners to treat others with civility, and that includes not luring at them.

[Deep13]

2. Is that really objectification?

I always understood objectification as an outgrowth commercial culture.

[BainsBane]

5. Yes, but commercial culture influences us

It influences how women see ourselves and how men see women.

[Android3.14]

8. The title of the OP should be on a t-shirt.

"Can A Man Be A Feminist If All He Wants To Do Is Bang You?"
It's worth money. I;m just sayin'.

[redqueen]

9. I'm actually disappointed in a lot of the reactions to this.

I read the blurb on jezebel about it, and now this one, and the comments are mostly some variation of BUTTHERE'SNOTHINGWRONGWITHTHAT.

People seem not to be paying attention to what these men are saying. They, themselves, are disturbed by the amount of focus they put on these fantasies. These aren't brief moments of 'hey that's a sexy person', they are detailed, pornographic fantasies. The fact that they, themselves, are finding them disturbing, should be a huge red flag.

I agree with him that visualizing them in burqas is not the best solution, but it seems to be helping him. As does the three second rule, which neither the gloss nor jezebel saw fit to mention.

This compulsion to engage in "addictive fantasy" is obviously a problem for these men. I wish I could understand why people are so damned resistant to the idea of porn or thoughts like these as being addictive and those compulsions being actually unpleasant and undesirable for the many men who complain about these things.

The pornographic objectification of women isn't natural, and it deserves more consideration than just thoughtlessly dismissing the boys and men who dare to talk about their problems which have been created, yes, by porn and the ubiquitous sexual objectification of women.

[ismnotwasm]

10. My reaction can possibly be explained by naïveté

My mind refuses to believe he's anything but a creeper asshole starting shit. Or If he's for real, he's a deeply disturbed individual.

To me, What you're saying is, if he's for real, at least he's attempting to do something about his problem, in fact he's at least acknowledges a real problem and works with a solution; and that this problem is far from unusual in men. (To the point where most don't see it as a 'problem') correct?

I could buy that, if the tone of the original article wasn't so smarmy. So it may be what I'm reading into it.

[redqueen]

11. I see the claims that this is all normal behavior as smarmy, myself.

He says he thinks of the women he knows as people (and not as sex objects) and it makes the intrusive thoughts less intrusive. I hope more people stop to consider the ramifications of what he (and many other men) are telling us.

[ismnotwasm]

12. Ok I get it

I agree with that.

[CrispyQ]

13. I blame our hyper-sexual, pornified cesspool of a culture for this:

From that first paragraph, he continues on about his “condition,” and pretty much his inability to go anywhere without having sexual thoughts about any woman he finds attractive.

Maybe if everywhere he looked, he saw the media portraying women "as something other than a place to stick his dick," this wouldn't be the issue it seems to be today. Maybe if the media stopped portraying women as always hyper-sexualized, especially in everyday roles, then men wouldn't so easily visualize the sexualized version in their heads. I think the media has a huge, huge influence, especially on young minds, & a lot of young ones, boys & girls, don't have someone to counter what they see & hear.

I know there has always been a perv element in society, but it's gone mainstream & it's very disturbing.

[redqueen]

19. What? You mean the media would portray women as... people? Human beings?

So... not as sex objects?

That's inconceivable!

It's natural for men to think of women as objects! If animals do it, that means we should too! Nature! Biology! Science!

[BainsBane]

14. You've once again inspired

commentary downstairs. What would they do without us to complain about? Poor dears, so bereft of ideas of their own.

[ismnotwasm]

15. Oh oh

That one stays firmly in the trash. I'm curious as a cat, and must take measures to curtail it on occasion.

[BainsBane]

16. You can sign out

and peer in, if your curiosity gets the better of you.

[ismnotwasm]

17. Heh!

Not bloody likely

[BainsBane]

18. Good for you

[redqueen]

20. Yeah, I took it out of the trash a while back when someone told me about a particularly...

... er... amusing thing. It doesn't stay amusing for long.

[ismnotwasm]

21. That's what I figure

When I waste my time I want it to count in ways that don't induce nausea.

[BainsBane]

22. Okay, I read the article. Tell me why he can't have sex with his wife?

And take care of his sexual energies that way? Why does this supposedly high male sex drive always seem to revolve around a desire to have sex with multiple women rather than with his partner?

[ismnotwasm]

23. Well I think it's a) because he's a weirdo

Notice how he uses the word "perverted" in reference to sexual activity? B) he's being an snarky asshole c) has identified a serious problem in himself and male sexuality and is making attempts to change.

[nomorenomore08]

24. I agree that the original article was kind of creepy. But I also felt sorry for the guy.

Of course I try to be discreet about my sexual thoughts, and keep them to myself - like any non-creepy dude should - but I'm certainly not ashamed of them. Hinds has issues for sure, even if the source of said issues isn't quite clear. Mainly I think he should get the hell over himself.

[Shivering Jemmy]

25. Is sex really that great

that people want it all the time like this guy?

I'd be very sad if it was all I thought about. I'd be sad if it was even 10% of what I thought about.

[redqueen]

26. Almost everyone enjoys sex.

Usually with someone you know, at least once you're out of adolescence. The whole thing where you fantasize about strangers... I dunno, I thought that once you actually started having sex with real people, the act of fantasizing about strangers lost it's appeal. Kind of a world of difference between imaginary sex with people you know nothing about, and actual people whom you know, as people - their personalities, idiosyncrasies, flaws, etc. I don't know why anyone would go back to the adolescent 'whack it to an image' pattern after reaching adulthood, but... whatever.

Anyway... this is the direction we so clearly appear to be headed

[geek tragedy]

27. The feminist thing to do for such a man:

1) Keep it in your shorts;
2) Keep it to yourself.

I'm sure his daughters are going to love reading this some day.