Hating oral sex as the new misogyny? Toward a more feminist sex life

[ismnotwasm]

(Offensive language, NSFW, I'm linking to the last couple paragraphs)

There is plenty of cultural hate for vaginas and vagina bearing bodies (be they cis or trans), so no matter what he may felt when sitting down to write this, he wasn’t treading any new ground. My guess is he thought this was some much needed “real talk” and that it would be accepted because he also ran through his feminist credentials before again telling women their bodies are disgusting. There’s no bravery in affirming the status quo. And if straight men are going to identify as feminists only to dress up misogyny in a new set of clothes, then we serve no purpose.

Reading this also called to mind the much discussed Slate piece from Andy Hinds and his “woe-is-me-feminism-has-ruined-my-sexual-fantasies” screed. I’m not sure if it’s a strictly straight white dude problem, but both of these writers display an inability to reconcile both political and sexual equality among the genders. They seem to think one is ruined by the other and they are lamenting the loss. That’s bullshit. People will continue to have fantasies and there will be sexual acts in which we won’t want to participate. But if the only language we have to articulate these desires or non-desires continues to degrade women we haven’t done enough work.

I say this from personal experience: a feminist sex life can be wildly fulfilling. But it only gets to be that fulfilling if you’re constantly engaged in communicating your desires and challenging the misogyny that has informed our sexual identities since birth. Straight men (especially those claiming to be feminist) can’t continue clinging to the old dialogue that simultaneously privileges our experience and leaves many of us unsatisfied. It’s boring and predictable.

http://feministing.com/2013/06/14/hating-oral-sex-as-the-new-misogyny-toward-a-more-feminist-sex-life/

[redqueen]

1. I am so sick of assholes like that claiming that they're feminists.

They're simply not.

[ismnotwasm]

2. It's like a pickup line

Maybe they actually BELIEVE that Ryan Gosling meme.

[redqueen]

3. Feminist Ryan Gosling was a study tool.

Created by a woman who used them as flash cards.

These assholes are simply full of shit, and all this "third wave" neofeminist, pro-objectification bullshit has created and enabled them.


"tagged male feminists" - yeah, of course it is.

[ismnotwasm]

4. Heh

Then they get all 'conflicted' because they're NICE GUYS

[redqueen]

5. You know what they call guys who *actually* get it in feminist circles?

Unicorns.

Guess why.

[geek tragedy]

6. I looked up that piece by Mr. Nutnot.

95% sure it's satire/not written in earnest.

[ismnotwasm]

7. It *is* filed under humor

I think he's an asshole; if he's a satirist he needs to work on it it a bit

t. I love women, I like abortions and I hate inequality. I think we should expand the rights of mothers in the workplace and we should ensure that young girls grow up in a world where they earn equal pay for equal work in whatever careers that interest them – even if its something they will likely fail at such as a doctor or a CEO. The honest truth is I can’t stand to see ignorance in the world, but I know I benefit from it. I’m a white male and I understand my privilege. I realize how lucky I am to not be a woman. But, just as I have bravely and selflessly recognized my own privilege, women must admit theirs: sexually, vaginas are not as good as penises.

For those interested; (NSFW)



http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/im-a-feminist-but-i-dont-eat-pussy/

[redqueen]

10. There's this thing about members of out groups doing 'comedy' which aims barbs at oppressed groups.

If his goal was that he was trying to be funny, he should have tried to actually learn something about comedy first.

[geek tragedy]

11. Yeah, not sure why he thought this was funny.

Maybe to satirize the self-congratulatory male feminists. That's the best spin for a total fail of an article anyways.

[MadrasT]

8. This piece just makes me go "meh".

Don't particularly care if the guy likes vaginas/vulvas and oral sex or not... I just find find it perplexing that he thinks the rest of the world wants or needs to know how he feels about it.

Unless you are a person with female sex organs who is considering an intimate relationship with this guy, who cares?

[ismnotwasm]

9. True that

Ultimately it shouldn't matter, it's the caveat of claiming to be a feminist then using body shaming.

There's a lot of jokes about women's sex organs, a certain ick factor In certain cultures- including American ones. It shouldn't matter but it has caused hurt and harm.

Reminds me of a Richard Pryor quote, (not this one actually, but this one will do)

"You gotta be cool when you're macho man, cuz you can't be sensitive and care about someone having a good time in bed, cuz that's too scary... When you don't use sensitivity when you're having sex, or share some of your soul, nothing gonna happen, because men really get afraid. Men really get scared in bed."