now. the woman has gotten the abortion figured out. she simply... has to figure out

[seabeyond]

how to do it, without getting killed.

that is not an iota of drama or hyperbole.

talking about the states behavior creating such challenges and hurdles, to get a legal medical procedure, i stated; abortions are more than just the procedure, for most of our girls and women.

the second layer.

to disconnect from a volatile situation.

the life threatening challenges placed in front of us. placed there by men.

we all get this right? for me, it has been a learning experience instead of an abstract analyzes. this is seeing it in real time, how it manifests.

Two thoughts went through my head when I read about a study showing that women seeking abortion experience high rates of domestic violence. The first thought was that this doesn’t surprise me in the slightest, both because abused women might have more unintended pregnancies and because pregnancy often is the catalyst for abusers escalating the amount of violence. And the second is that this really demonstrates how wrong anti-choicers are when they claim that forced childbirth is somehow pro-woman. To be truly pro-woman, you must give women tools to prevent abusers from strengthening their hold over their victims. Forcing an abuse victim to have a baby against her will by her abuser is doing the abuser’s work for him.

The findings of the study conducted by University of Iowa professors and Planned Parenthood of the Heartland is grim but unsurprising to those of us who know something about the parameters of violence against women. Fourteen percent of the women coming in for abortions over an eight-and-a-half month period had experienced domestic violence in the past 12 months. There’s reason to suspect that women in abusive relationships are more likely to experience unintended pregnancy. Sabotaging birth control is a common tactic of abusers seeking to increase their power over their victims and reduce their victims’ own sense of control. Preliminary studies have found that it may be that up to three-quarters of women in abusive relationships experience some form of contraception sabotage.

Once pregnant, women in abusive relationships are quite likely to be more motivated than average to terminate a pregnancy. Domestic abuse often escalates during pregnancy, probably because abusers feel an even stronger need to control their victims. They may also feel like they can get away with more abuse, because the child makes it that much harder for a woman to escape. In fact, homicide, usually at the hands of a male partner, is one of the leading causes of death for pregnant women. I’m not at all surprised that many women sense this danger, and this influences the decision to terminate.

And that leads me to the one silver lining in this research, which is that it seems many of the women getting abortions are not just trying to survive within abusive relationships, but are also taking steps to get out. It’s not surprising that an unintended pregnancy and an abortion can be a catalyst for ending a toxic or even abusive relationship, and the research bears this out. Leaving is a very dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship, because the abusers often panic and start escalating the violence or stalking. But with this research in hand, clinic workers might be able to offer resources to women who are in an abortion clinic as part of a larger journey of escaping a bad situation.

http://rhrealitycheck.org/article/2010/06/30/antichoicers-willing-look-other-while-women-abused/

[ismnotwasm]

1. Geez speaking all this truth

You know, those People want to hear how the fetus is a baby and there are so many wonderful options

How sacred life is. How. Sacred. Life. Is. For what exactly? The ideal, the potential-- an emotionialized fetus? Because it isn't sacred for women who have to scramble for their right to choose apparently. It's not even a valued life

A real life- this shit happens every motherfucking day- story should make those assholes who call themselves "pro-life" uncomfortable as hell-- no few right here at DU. However, I suspect they have no concern for the pregnant woman-- ever--just a projection of narrsistic emotion.

[seabeyond]

2. or the life of fear and abuse already inherent in the lives of all involved. to live daily. nt

[mercuryblues]

3. pregnant

and abused women often get no relief from courts. Have a baby or being pregnant judges often will deny/prolong divorce proceedings "for the baby's sake". Thus legally forcing an abused woman to remain. Then the fight for custody begins.

Often times the abuser who also controls much of the finances threaten to take the kids away when a woman tries to leave. She is faced with meager income and having to rebuild her life from scratch, right down to the pots and pans. While fighting a legal battle for custody. Women know this and faced with an unwanted pregnancy that will keep them in an abusive situation for years; the option for having an abortion should not be met with even more hurdles to over come.

I am glad that your friend has you to help her through this.