noiretextatique
noiretextatique's JournalPlease share your "you don't think we're like that" story
I'll share my most egregious one. I was in an online Creativity class and each student had her/his own virtual room to post art, poetry, music, etc. I posted a poem titled "Never Trust the White Man." It was a poem about my maternal great grandmother's oft-repeated admonishment, as related to me by my older cousins. My great grandmother, for all intents and purposes, WAS a white woman, but she held onto that drop of African blood that coursed through her veins with her all. She married a very dark-skinned man, and they had eight children.
My great grandmother was a seamstress, and my great grandfather was a farmer. They were very prosperous for the time, and some of the white townsfolk didn't much care for that. Mama made all her children's clothes, and they were always dressed well. One day, one of my great uncles took the car into town to buy some supplies, and the local yokels accused him of stealing. Of course he had no need to steal because his parents made more money than most of the yokels. Anyway, he managed to get away from them and get home...but trouble was still on the horizon. Later that night a mob was assembled and headed towards the farm. My great grandparents were warned, and they managed to escape to safety with all their children. That mob would have probably lynched the entire family if they had not fled, and they had to flee the land THEY owned. Another parcel of land lost to a white lynch mob. I still wonder who owns that ill-gotten land to this day.
Anyway, my poem was about ALL OF THAT, and then some. It was a story about my life, my mother's life, my grandmother's life and my great grandmother's life...and it was ALL true! I wrote about my cousins running into their house and telling their mother that the neighborhood kids were teasing them about "white people" being in their house. I wrote about how TERRIFIED they were, and how they looked in the closets and under the beds trying to make sure there were no white people in their house. Because...in Texas in the 1950's and 60's, white people were TERRIFYING to little black children. They were the ones who lynched and bombed and intimidated and killed...they were the people you should stay away from and be afraid of. That was THEIR reality.
In Ft. Worth, TX, the black people lived on one side of the lake, and the white people lived on the other side. My uncle was married to a white woman, so she had to lay down in the car to travel to the black side of town, to visit his relatives. And, my great grandparents' children were fair-skinned, so they too had to be careful not to offend the sensibilities of the Jim Crow south. They were the "white people" the neighborhood children were alarmed about...they were just family.
So, my story was brimming with complexities and uncomfortable realities, all of which I poured into that poem. As my friend said later: White people do not understand the complexities of our lives or our realities. And boy, was she ever correct.
I posted the poem, and almost immediately, all hell broke loose. I was accused of racism and told my poem...the poem about the TRUTH of many generations of my family...was "offensive." I had only one ally, of the 20 or so students in the class: the other black person, a man. And thank goodness for him, because I got attacked like you would not believe: I couldn't believe it. I was in the supposed liberal bastion of San Francisco, and frankly, I was completely stunned by their reactions. To a one, they accused me of being racist, and offensive, and so on, simply for writing about what actually happened. I will never forget it.
The reactions were not about I wrote; they reacted to how what I wrote made them feel, and apparently it did not make them feel good. And too often in the american racial narrative, our job is to make white people feel good about themselves. Our job is to congratulate and to feel grateful, and to never, ever make anyone feel uncomfortable.
So, if I am thanked in an email for "fetching" reports, I am not supposed to challenge the word or the sentiment or the motive...no. I was supposed to feel grateful that I was even mentioned, no matter how offensively. And when I challenged the woman who wrote that bs? She bent over backwards trying to prove to me that she was "not like them." She was a Harvard grad, something she loved to mention often, so I asked her: 
were you thinking?! How could you possibly think equating my contribution to the team with the act of a dog was perfectly fine? Yeah...you ARE like THAT, so learn from this experience and stop being like THAT. And stop being a passive-aggressive asshole to boot.
I think I am done now. Please share. I think it is important to continue the dialogue about race that the teabaggers have awakened.
Twenty-Three People Killed by American Police in the Span of One Week
At least twenty-three people were killed by officers from various United States police departments in the past week. That means about three people died in the custody or at the hands of police every day from September 18-24.
The frequency in which police use force, especially lethal force, would seem to deserve quite a bit of attention, however, it is rarely highlighted by news media. For the most part, it goes ignored.
Only when there was a crisis in Ferguson after a white police officer killed an unarmed black teenager did media examine how often people are killed by police in the US.
The “Killed by Police” Facebook page keeps track of deaths as they occur and, from May 1, 2013, to August 24, 1,450 people have been killed. When calculated, about three people were killed each day.
http://dissenter.firedoglake.com/2014/09/25/twenty-three-people-killed-by-american-police-in-the-span-of-one-week
i am sure some of these folks were criminals, i am sure some were dangerous...but some of these killings are questionable.
Brain Research: White People Lack Empathy for Brown People
There have been a lot of studies revealing unconscious and latent racism in whites but not so many studies about what might be happening physically in the brains of people expressing such unconscious attitudes. It's important for us to understand more about this because these people also typically express anti-racist sentiments and there's no reason to think that they are lying. How can a person say they support equality and sincerely believe that they support equality but then exhibit racism?
The answer may lie in mirror neurons. A new study from the University of Toronto at Scarborough indicates that when white people watch non-whites performing simple tasks, their "mirror neuron system" is far less active than when watching whites performing the same task. If this is indeed true, then it suggests that a person can simultaneously have strong anti-racist beliefs but then be easily susceptible to racist attitudes because their brains simply fail to react to non-whites with the same degree of empathy as with whites.
snipped a bunch to get to these...
I think it's important to regularly point out that racism isn't just to harbour hate, resentment, or something equally negative against another race. It's also the absence of empathy, compassion, or something positive towards another race that one would have toward their own race. So many times, I hear/read white people prefacing racist statements with, 'I'm not racist, I don't hate ______ people...' and then they say something that lacks empathy with brown people, minimalizes the experiences of brown people, or justifies a system that oppresses brown people.
It's the latter thing, this lack of empathy, that upholds institutional racism. It's linked to the complacency that accepts the status quo and resists change with the attitude that if something's not broken, it doesn't need fixing. Lack of empathy prevents white people from seeing how broken a system is for brown people.
Racism isn't just about hating another race, it's also about failing to regard that races as fully equal human beings who deserve full political and social equality. Homophobia isn't just about hating gays, it's about failing to regard gays as fully equal. Anti-atheist bigotry isn't just about hating atheists, it's about failing to regard atheists as fully equal.
http://atheism.about.com/b/2010/07/12/brain-research-white-people-lack-empathy-for-brown-people.htm
thanks
i kno what needs to be done. i am trying to get by the family on -board...that is the current problem. however, i am willing ot proceed without them. Mom is a master manipulator and liar....she learned from him. She has convinvinced my nieces that i am forcing her from her house, but she fails to mention that she says the house is too much for her and there is the matter of the drug addict that she cannot let got of, even with the restraining order.
My 80 yo mother is addicted to my drug-addicted nephew
He is 28 years old and has been living with her for 10 years. He has done nothing but get into trouble for 10 years. We've talked to my Mom about it, but recently I decided to take action. I convinced her to get a restraining order because he was using and selling meth in her house, and bringing drug addicts and dealers into her house. Over the past ten years, he has racked up an impressive petty criminal record, including two domestic violence convictions, and two possession of meth charges, and just two weeks ago, he was finally charged with felony possession and a 657b enhancement...that's CA's 3 strikes law.
My mother has been violating the restraining order by allowing him to come to her house and talking to him on the phone. Funny...she tried to visit him in jail, but the jailer told her she could not: because SHE has a restraining order against him. My mother is of sound mind and body...except when it comes to him...and my drug addicted brother. My brother at least has his own apartment, but he relies on my mother financially, to some extent.
He is a danger to her. And she is a danger to herself when it comes to him. I want my mother to sell her house, but she is resistant only because she wants to keep a home for him....but she really doesn't want him, or his drug activity in her house. Her latest solution is to house him in the garage, even though the restraining order prohibits that.
I think it is time for conservatorship, based on the fact that the nephew has undue influence over her...like battered woman or Stockholm syndrome. He has stolen her car, three new televisions from her house, and god only knows how much cash. He has assaulted both his sisters, and two women he was dating. He is using and dealing meth. I keep asking her: what does he have to do before you see him for who he is? I am afraid she is going to be hurt if she continues to deal with him, and I know she will because she is obsessed with him. And it is so sad. His two younger sisters are both nurses, and doing very well, But until I filed the restraining order, they would not even come to her house.
I am so frustrated. The family all agree that what has been happening is not good, and that she is a danger to herself because of her enabling. Yet, they want her to maintain her independence. And so do I, but I know she cannot break this cycle of co-dependency with him without our help. She even suggested that we get conservatorship. So...I think I am going to make the decision without the rest of the family, and do what I can to to keep my mother safe, because I know she will continue to put herself in danger.
Just needed to vent, but any suggestions are welcome
Profile Information
Member since: 2001Number of posts: 27,275
