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Gender: Male
Hometown: America's Finest City
Current location: District 50
Member since: 2001
Number of posts: 11,820

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Russian Interference Had No Impact On Election, Reports Website Created 8 Minutes Ago

WASHINGTON—Stating conclusively that the meddling was “negligible at best,” TruthBeacon.org, an entirely new website created eight minutes ago, declared that Russian interference had no impact on the 2016 U.S. presidential election.

“Experts have determined without a doubt that there is absolutely no truth to allegations that Russian interference, which was limited to a handful of barely viewed social media ads, influenced the outcome of last year’s election,” read the website that was reportedly registered last night and began rapidly publishing content for the very first time less than 10 minutes ago.

“Also, all the investigations into collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia have been unable to scrape together a single piece of evidence over the last year. Millions of taxpayer dollars wasted in what is decisively a witch hunt!”

According to sources, TruthBeacon.org had crashed five minutes ago due to overwhelming traffic.


It's The Onion, folks.

Scientists engineer proteins that caused obese animals to lose weight and lower cholesterol

As the U.S. obesity rate has galloped toward 40%, doctors, drug designers and dispirited dieters have all wondered the same thing: What if a pill could deliver the benefits of weight-loss surgery, but without the knife?

New research brings that hope a notch closer.

Scientists from the biotechnology company Amgen Inc. report they have identified and improved upon a naturally occurring protein that brought about significant changes in obese mice and monkeys, including weight loss and rapid improvements on measures of metabolic and heart health.

The results, published Wednesday in Science Translational Medicine, approximate some of the mysteriously powerful effects of bariatric surgery, in which a surgeon reshapes the stomach and intestinal tract to reduce their capacity. Even before surgery patients lose a lot of weight, most see marked improvements in obesity-related conditions like insulin resistance, high circulating blood sugar and worrisome cholesterol levels.


Men photographed in crocodile trap dubbed 'idiots of the century'

A group of men photographed swimming into a baited croc trap near the scene of a fatal attack in Queensland appear to be vying for the “idiots of the century award”, a local mayor has said.

Photos of the men swimming around and even climbing into the trap at the Port Douglas Marina have surfaced online, leaving the mayor of Douglas Shire, Julia Leu, stunned.

“I was absolutely gobsmacked, this is incredibly stupid and dangerous behaviour. I’m wondering if these fellows are vying for the idiots of the year award or the idiots of the century award,” she told ABC radio.

The pictures show the men frolicking in the water and sitting in the mouth of the trap at the marina, not far from where a 4.3m croc took a 79-year-old woman with dementia, Anne Cameron.


That Foster's Lager must really pack a punch.


As I contemplate the Trump presidency, I cannot help but think of Joseph Welch.

On June 9, 1954, during the Army-McCarthy hearings, Welch, who was the chief counsel for the Army, famously asked the committee chairman if he might speak on a point of personal privilege. What he said that day was so profound that it has become enshrined as a pivotal moment in defense of American values against those who would lay waste to them. Welch was the son of a small prairie town in northwest Iowa, and the plaintive quality of his flat Midwestern accent is burned into American history. After asking Sen. Joseph McCarthy for his attention and telling him to listen with both ears, Welch spoke:

“Until this moment, senator, I think I never really gauged your cruelty, or your recklessness.”

And then, in words that today echo from his time to ours, Welch delivered the coup de grace: “You’ve done enough. Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?”


Jeff Flake's WaPo OpEd.

As GOP Senators Bail, Republicans Are Learning What A Trump Party Looks Like

What does a Party of Donald Trump look like?

As a second mainstream Republican chooses to leave the Senate rather than run for re-election in a party led by President Trump, an organization molded by Barry Goldwater and Ronald Reagan appears to be in an identity crisis that typically afflicts a party out of power, not one that controls both chambers of Congress and the White House.

“What party?” laughed Rick Tyler, a longtime GOP consultant who worked for the presidential campaign of Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas last year. “It’s hard to say that it’s anyone’s party right now. It is both intellectually and ideologically unmoored.”

Tyler said Trump’s inability to focus on legislation, or even understand it, makes it virtually impossible for him to lead his own party, let alone the nation. “He doesn’t have a core set of beliefs. He never has. He’s going to believe in what’s good for him at the moment,” Tyler said. “The president is supposed to be the North Star in all of these things. And he’s just a constellation. And we’ve got no way of knowing where he’s going to be in six months.”


Trump Cancels Entire Schedule to Focus on Choosing Insulting Nickname for Bob Corker

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump cancelled his entire schedule on Tuesday to focus all his energy on choosing an insulting nickname for the Senator Bob Corker of Tennessee, aides have confirmed.

Trump rejected his first attempt at a demeaning moniker for the senator, “liddle’ Bob Corker,” because he felt that he had used the “liddle’ ” construction too much in the past and feared that it was getting old.

“The President has very high standards for the insulting nicknames he uses,” an aide explained. “He was not about to settle for ‘liddle’.’ ” Trump thought he had a winner when he came up with “Corker the Porker,” until aides pointed out that the Republican senator from Tennessee has an average physique, to which such an insult would not accurately apply.

At midday, Trump was reportedly “very excited” by the idea of calling the Tennesseean “Bob Mothercorker,” until his daughter Ivanka begged him not to do so.

Trump’s task was compounded later in the day, when it became clear that he would also have to figure out an insulting name for Senator Jeff Flake of Arizona. “All he keeps coming up with is ‘Jeff Flake,’ ” an aide said.


In the clash of American cultures, John Kelly picks his side

When John Kelly replaced the ineffectual Reince Priebus as President Trump’s chief of staff on July 31, there was widespread relief that the highly regarded, competent and patriotic retired Marine general would take charge in the White House. Since then, he has operated mostly in the background, but when he took the podium last week, amid an unseemly public spat over what Trump said to the widow of an Army sergeant killed in Niger, many expected him to exert a calming and dignified influence over what was turning into a national embarrassment.

Instead, Kelly made things worse. He picked a fight with a Democratic congresswoman who had criticized Trump, demeaned her with an insulting and provably false anecdote, and then stunned the assembled press corps by saying he would only take questions from reporters who had some connection to a Gold Star family, seeming to stop himself just short of demanding the name, rank and serial number of the deceased service member.

If observers were shocked by this, it is because many had placed their hopes in the trio Trump calls “my generals,” the others being Defense Secretary James Mattis and national security adviser H.R. McMaster, to rein in the president’s authoritarian and unconstitutional impulses.

The military is one of the few American institutions that still command almost universal respect. Officers who have come up through the ranks, often risking their lives in combat, are viewed, and sometimes view themselves, as guardians of American constitutional democracy, standing above politics and self-interest, on the example of the officer whose picture is on the dollar bill.


Sears splits from Whirlpool after 100 years

Source: CBS News

Whether U.S. shoppers are still looking for the softer side of Sears may be debatable, but there's one line of merchandise consumers will no longer find at the department store: Whirlpool appliances.

The department store is ending a business relationship that dates make more than 100 years. In a note sent to its stores last week, Sears said that Whirlpool (WHR) was making demands that would've made it difficult to sell its appliances at a competitive price.

Sears (SHLD) has been ravaged by new competition for years, however, from stores like Home Depot and also from Amazon.com and other online retailers. The department store's sales have continued to plummet, with second-quarter sales declining 11.5 percent at stores open at least a year. The chain is restructuring its operations and shedding underperforming stores, but the loss of a major draw like Whirlpool may add to its challenges in drawing shoppers through its doors.

The end to the partnership is effective immediately and includes the larger appliances and small kitchen appliances of Whirlpool subsidiaries like Maytag, KitchenAid and Jenn-Air.

Read more: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/sears-whirlpool-appliances-split-partnership-after-100-years/

This may be another sign that Sears might not be around for much longer.

Trump Called Up For Vietnam Service After Last Of Draft Deferments Expires

WASHINGTON—Confirming that the 71-year-old had officially been determined fit to carry out his duty, officials from the United States Army announced Monday that President Trump was being called upon to serve in Vietnam after the last of his draft deferments had expired.

“After almost 50 years of filing and renewing dozens of military service waivers, the President’s final term of postponement has concluded and he will be required to fulfill his military commitment immediately,” said Public Affairs Chief Brig. Gen. Paul Johnson, explaining that the commander-in-chief had finally been deemed able to serve after decades of claiming ineligibility to do so based on college enrollment, bone spurs, diabetes, hepatitis, religious opposition, and homosexuality.

“President Trump will be sent to Fort Benning, Georgia to complete his basic officer training, whereafter he will be deployed to Vietnam along with his infantry division and stationed near Danang to begin his year-long service obligation.”

At press time, sources confirmed that the president was last seen aboard Air Force One, embarking on a trip of unknown duration in Canada.


To combat hunger, Venezuelans in the U.S. ship food to relatives

While video chatting with relatives in Venezuela, Tere Caicedo watched as they opened a package she had sent them stuffed with clothes, shoes and a large bag of oatmeal.

The bag had ripped during transport, spilling oatmeal all over. Caicedo, a Santa Ana resident who cleans houses for a living, told her relatives not to worry. She would send more.

But her uncle carefully picked out the package’s contents, flipped the box over and dumped the oatmeal into a bowl.

“No,” he told her. “This is food. We can’t just throw it away.”

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