August 19, 2015

"I'm a strict Constitutionalist, except when the text is wrong." . . . Come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!

Donald ("My lawyers will crush the law!&quot Trump is saying: "Listen, it's really simple. The Constitution says a child born on U.S. soil is a citizen, but that's not what it means. . . . What is really means is that when a child is born on U.S. soil to parents who are here legally, and are in good standing with our government, and have productive jobs, and pay taxes, and contribute to the society, and don't need excessive social services. . . . Well, these babies, and only these babies, are automatically U.S. citizens."


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Above CAPTION based on the following Huffington Post story:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-undocumented-immigrants_55d48164e4b07addcb44b84c?kvcommref=mostpopular

August 19, 2015

"I wonder what looks best in Hell. Red or silver?" . . . . Please come CAPTION Sarah Palin!!!

Sarah ("Never a mind too pure to soil with lies.&quot Palin is saying: "Heck yeah, I like Donald Trump! . . . And his immigration plan, Greta, is brilliant! . . . I'd just add to it: Build the wall far enough on our side of the border so some entrepreneurs can schedule big-game hunting trips in the area between. . . . In Alaska we know how to get rid of coyotes the old fashioned way, if you know what I mean. . . I'll bet that would cut down on border crossings in a jiffy."




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Above CAPTION based on the following DU post with a Fox clip:


http://www.democraticunderground.com/1017287248

August 18, 2015

"The problem with Limbaugh is his humility!" . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!

Donald ("The more noise the better&quot Trump is saying: "I don't understand you, Chuck. . . . Just why is it a bad visual when I talk about dispossessing the dispossessed while aboard my multi-million dollar custom jet? . . . You people crack me up! . . . Did I tell you I was very, very rich?"

August 17, 2015

"Don't invade, annihilate their sorry asses!" . . . Please come CAPTION Donald Trump!!!!

Donald (What's the difference between tactics and strategy once again?&quot Trump is saying: "Listen, I get a lot of great military advice, much of it from television on shows like yours, Chuck, or like on Fox they have that Bolton fellow, or like back when M*A*S*H was still on, old Sherman Potter seemed to have a pretty good head on his shoulders."


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CAPTION based on the following Politics U.S.A. story:

http://www.politicususa.com/2015/08/16/donald-trump-falls-asked-turn-military-advice.html

August 17, 2015

"Yes, Your Magesty, President Trump!" . . . Please come CAPTION Ann Coulter!

Ann ("I keep my edge by eating nails for breakfast&quot Coulter is saying: "Sean, I don't think it's a stretch to say that Donald Trump's immigration plan is one of the major political documents of all times. . . . It stands right up there with the Magna Carta, the Declaration of independence, and the United States Constitution! . . . I've had some people tell me that that's going too far. . . . But I know better than to listen. . . . These liberals will say just about anything!!"


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Above CAPTION based ont he following Salon article:

http://www.salon.com/2015/08/17/ann_coulter_donald_trump_can_personally_perform_abortions_in_the_white_house_if_he_makes_this_happen/

August 16, 2015

Another agument for scented-surgical masks. . . . Please come CAPTION Rush Limbaugh!!!

Rush (flash without the pan) Limbaugh is saying: "Listen, ladies and gentlemen: . . . for twenty-six years I have given you the most extreme, most far-out, seemingly insane opinions on everything from fluorides in shoe polish to the leftist emasculation of the Pope, . . . and my extreme views, matched by a colorful burlesque of language and reasoning, made me a top rated radio host for decades, . . . and they were never, ever equaled, much less surpassed. . . . Until, that is, this past year with the Republican field, . . . and I guess people feel like . . . like . . . who needs the radio?"

August 16, 2015

"We'll give you the business." . . . Please come CAPTION The Three Fair-and-Balanced Stooges!!

Charles Payne just finished saying: "Hillary jokes that the Republicans want to increase the retirement age to 80. . . . That's simply ridiculous!"

Neil Cavuto is saying: "You're right, Charles, since many people live until 84 these days, a lot of Republicans feel they should get at least a half dozen years of retirement."

Scott Martin is just about to say: "Guys, guys! . . . Let's look at the big picture. . . . Why have retirement at all? . . . Why not just can their sorry asses after their first heart attack?"



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Above CAPTION based on the following Crooks & Liars story with a lovely Fox clip:

http://crooksandliars.com/2015/08/fox-pundits-whine-over-clintons-jab

August 15, 2015

Who put the "ox" in "toxic"?. . . . Please come CAPTION Fox's Eric Bolling!!!

Eric ("Mom, they keep calling me names.&quot Bolling is saying: "Well, Geraldo, it's obvious to anyone who looks at this in a fair and balanced manner that Hillary should start thinking about making license plates up-the-river for the next ten years rather than running for the President of the United States now and here. . . . That is, if you want to be objective."

August 14, 2015

"My brother was the reader in the family." . . . Please come CAPTION Jeb Bush!!!!

Jeb ("Sure, I got spirit. . . . I just toned it way down.&quot Bush is saying: " . . . and it's apparent to anyone who truly looks that the Iraq War was a great, great thing! . . . It removed a ruthless dictator from his blood-thirsty reign, we got years' worth of invaluable training for our troops, and it provided jobs for hundreds of Iraqi-English translators. . . . All that foolish talk about disrupting the Middle-East so that terrorism and could thrive, hell, that's just fantasy, like an Alice in Wonderland biography or reading tea leaves for Satan. . . . What if? . . . What if? . . . .Heck, it's crazy to even speculate! "




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CAPTION based on the following Crooks and Liars story with a lovely but abbreviated little clip (missing Bush's Back ot the Future reference which nakes the CAPTION fit its occasion a bit better):

http://crooksandliars.com/2015/08/jeb-bush-bear-hugs-dubyas-iraq-war

August 13, 2015

"Lobotomies can really lighten your load." . . . . Please come CAPTION Ben Carson!!!!

Ben (A cattle prod to the frontal lobe) Carson is saying: "I know I said every fetus is a human and should be so treated and any use of fetal tissue for medical research was not only unnecessary, but relies on heinous acts for procurement, . . . "harvesting," I think they call it. . . . But when I did it in 1992, it was entirely different. The fetus in question had died long before, the abortion was preformed without the aid of government funds, and there as a world-wide epidemic . . . I was searching for a cure to save mankind from REC, or Right-Brain Empathetic Consultation, in which sufferers involuntarily consulted the moral centers of the brain before acting or talking (and I think, by the way, my team made some remarkable advances) . . . . At any rate, it was an entirely different case."


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Above story based on the following Huffington Post story:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ben-carson-aborted-fetal-tissue_55cc920ce4b0898c48869108