Head Wreck is "saying": "I've said a lot of words in my time. Before I sobered up, these were often dark words that shoved people's faces in the toilet bowl and flushed, or pointed words like sharpened umbrella pikes to goose old ladies with, or words like fecal stew to smear on people's faces, or stinky little words like used enema bags to squirt on people's salads. . . . But these days my words are good and of use, pointing out the traitors among us, the miscreant and vile, the sodomites and spies, the haters of America who need stomped into the ground, broken, exhausted, and defeated. . . . Words of love and concern, in other words."



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Here's the real story at Huffington Post:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/11/glenn-becks-vocal-cords-temporarily-paralyzed-tearful-monologue-cue-cards_n_3421174.html?utm_hp_ref=media

Laura ("Who put the vacuous in vacant?" Ingraham is saying, "Don't get me wrong, Sean, despite their sexual desires, their parasitic economic models, their general drunken behavior, their unbridled lust for kitsch art and low-riding cars with big rims, and their desire to eradicate all vestiges of Caucasian authority, Latinos have a number of things going for them . . . like spicy food, fancy guitar music, and cheap movie sets for Westerns."


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Media Matters has the actual story here:

http://mediamatters.org/blog/2013/06/07/laura-ingrahams-campaign-against-immigration-re/194395

Sean ("I'm wearing my mother's dirty underwear" Hannity is saying: "And now as part of Obamacare, our so-called president has created a website for young girls promoting, basically, depravity. I call it Depravity 101. . . . On that Obamacare website, he promotes incest, bestiality, transgendered nudist games with olive oil and domestic animals, and even necrophilia in a section titled 'Blind Date!!!!' . . . Can you believe it? . . . Don't you ever wonder why you can only hear these things on Fox?"


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Here's a Media Matters link to the real story:

http://mediamatters.org/blog/2013/06/05/hannity-falsely-claims-government-encourages-se/194367

E. W. Jackson ("This is your mind without eggs" is saying: " . . . And then the devil invented yoga and gave it to the swami-sorts with some Buddhist mantras, which all sound like drunken mumbling to me, because it was like a gateway for Satan to enter men's lives in the guise of so-called religion. Yoga makes these Gandhi-types concentrate on their breathing so much that the devil can slip in from behind and up the you-know-what. . . . And then the devil invented tofu and futons because . . ."


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Here's a link to the real story at The Huffington Post:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/05/ew-jackson-yoga-satanic-possession_n_3392386.html

Bill, "It's right if I say it's right!," O'Reilly is saying: "And the incivility!!! . . . When it was the Tea Party at town halls, that was different. . . . Those protesters were established, regular Americans. . . . Some may have been women, but they were American woman who hadn't burnt their bras. . . But nowadays, we don't even know they're women. . . . They're transgendered and have piercings and tattoos all over their faces and arms and who knows where else. . . They're confused. . . . They don't know who they are. . . . But they're sure ready to tell you what they want! . . . They want to run the asylum and get everyone sex changes or modifications or gender stylings or whatever they do, . . . until everyone's like them."

Darrell, "felonies are my favorite," Issa is saying: "I know, Candy, that particular transcript does not prove Washington's involvement in the IRS scandal, and none of the transcripts we've yet released do either, but my sources have heard some of the depositions strongly imply not only The President's direct and energetic involvement, but his almost hourly micro-management of its direction. . . . I think we could convict him on the rumors alone, . . . but even though we're rock certain of the outcome, to be fair I'll let the investigation run its course."

Alex ("Putting a thought into words is like choking down roadkill" Jones is saying: "Listen, Mr. Tough-Guy O'Reilly, you think you got something? You think you're tough? . . . I know you're a coward just like those other so-called conservatives at Fox!!! . . . You pretend to stand up for the Far Right but your head's so far up you-know-where you haven't seen daylight for decades. . . . Just like your buddy Glenn Beck, another shameless liberal in sheep's clothing!! . . . Geez!! . . . The only thing I can't figure out is how come I don't get hired by a big media outlet!!! . . . It's you guys try to prove I'm nuts!!! . . . I'm not nuts!! . . I say it's discrimination against the true right!"



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Here's a link to the real story:

http://www.opposingviews.com/i/politics/alex-jones-challenges-bill-oreilly-pay-view-boxing-match-video

Erick ("I think I need a second lobotomy" ) Erickson is saying: "That's right, Lou, but it'll be even worse than that. . . . The families themselves will begin to break apart when the women breadwinners start making their male 'partners' (they won't call them 'husbands' any more) do all the menial chores and wear pretty clothes while the women are around, and they'll make them become vegetarians and eat tofu so they grow breasts ('manoobs' they call them), while their kids . . . oops, I mean 'clients,' . . . will be thrust into massive gender-blending educational training centers. . . . Well, Lou, you get the drift. . . . The family is D.O.A. . . . That means 'dead on arrival.'"


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Here's a Media Matters link to the real story:

http://mediamatters.org/research/2013/05/30/erick-ericksons-latest-sexist-anti-gay-comments/194279

Michele ("This is your egg on drugs" Bachmann is saying: "But even more than running for President, Sean, I'm proud of the bills I wrote from the We're Packing Bill that allows conceal carry weapons on White House Tours to the Fairness for Americans Act that would make it illegal for foreigners to call us foreign when we're visiting their country. . . . It's a shame that the Democrats had to show their disdain once again for common sense by voting them down."

Frank, fecal stew, Gaffney is saying, "Well, Martha, I don't blame you for not getting it, since it was all in code. . . . In Obama's last three public speeches, in fact, he has referred to different sura, or chapters, of the Koran as well as verses to tell the Islamic Extremists that we will offer only token resistance to their current series of jihads, or death struggles, until they have taken over our entire way of life including our government, our laws, our religion, and our sense of Western decency. . . . The codes are very clever but real as death warrants. . . . It's the greatest story of the past two weeks and could change the course of American history!!! . . . But do you think any of the lame-stream media are carrying this???? . . . They won't even return my calls anymore. . . . Your viewers must wonder why they can only hear this on Fox!"


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Here's the media Matters link to the actual story:

http://mediamatters.org/blog/2013/05/25/fox-hosts-anti-islam-commentator-to-falsely-cla/194230