40+ years smoker

...today I am almost 3 years smoke-free. However, I am not going to pretend I had some magic will power or anything. I got really, really sick with the terrible flu (and I had the flu shot). I was down for the count in bed for a week and a half. I was feeling a little better and decided to go outside to smoke (I did not smoke indoors).

I was coughing so hard it hurt and on the way to the door, I said to myself, "Self, you have gotten through the worst of withdrawal, sooooo do you want to start that back up now? You are going to hurt like hell with all the coughing you will endure. You've been out of it for over a week and over the worst part of recovery is over. If you go out there you will once again restart that habit, and hate yourself for being such a fool."

My answer was, "Errrrmmm no I do not want to start that habit again, thank-you very much!" So I went back to bed for another week of sleep and never touched tobacco again. However many smoke-free people hate the smell of the smoke after quitting. Not me. I still like second-hand smoke for some reason. So I tell my loved ones it is ok if some of their smoke comes to me.

I also went to Tobacco Anonymous online for awhile. That was just to commiserate with other ex-smokers, but most of them were still smoking. I understood the struggling with the habit, I could relate all right, but I still wanted to talk about how much I miss my old friend tobacco with others who might feel the same. BTW they are a nice group of folks to hang out with online if you want to go to people who understand the struggle. Google them if you want some support.

I sometimes have a half thought I want to smoke, but it usually lasts for a sum total of 20 seconds. I sometimes still go out and hang with the smokers during a break or with the family who smokes. I do this because some of the most stimulating conversations goes on there plus i like the smoke. That circle is where you often get the news you would not get otherwise.

Cat in Seattle