November 2, 2012

Republican campaign management

Campaign Manager: OK Bob, let's try this again. I'll be the reporter trying to bait you into a rape comment. Whatever I say, you respond with "rape is bad". Ok?

Republican Bob: OK, got it.

Campaign Manager: OK. *ahem* 'Senator Conrad, do you feel that abortions should be banned even in cases of rape?'

Republican Bob: Rape is bad. Usually.

Campaign Manager: No, not usually. Rape is always bad.

Republican Bob: But only real rape.

Campaign Manager: No, Bob, rape is bad. That's all you have to say. 'Rape is bad'.

Republican Bob: It's just that, if it's not real rape, she probably enjoyed it. That's all I'm saying.

Campaign Manager: Bob, 'rape is bad'. Say it.

Republican Bob: Rape is bad.

Campaign Manager: Good.

Republican Bob: But only when it's forced.

Campaign Manager: I quit.