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Gender: Male
Hometown: Delaware
Member since: Fri Jan 20, 2006, 08:14 PM
Number of posts: 61,622

Journal Archives

Guess Matalin and Carville's "safe word"

I'm torn between "harder" and "Bob Crane".

New theory of reincarnation expands possible fates

The Sri Saag Paneer Institude of Vedic Studies has, after considerable study and contemplation, announced that while the blessed advance to Nirvana, the number of fallback stages to progressively lower life forms is broader than previously thought.

Guru Tandoori Khwarma explains, "You may, by following the wrong path, fall back to a lower caste, or the popular icky things like bugs. We have found that there is another possibility in which you may instead become an internet meme, from which you may never escape.

It is an unimaginable horror, and may be considered the Karmic Death Penalty."

OMG! WHAT is she wearing?


On edit: sorry, but... whoa... If you saw it, you'd know what I mean, and if you didn't, then your life is blessed.

On second edit: Do NOT watch Anderson Cooper's segment with Begala and Mary Matalin.

It's okay, it's over now.


Paul Ryan Does Not Lie!

Paul Ryan merely tells "unborn truths".

Under Pressure, Mitt Romney Fleshes Out Plan For Afghanistan

I dunno, maybe he's got a good idea here.

In an interview to be aired tomorrow, Romney lays out his plan for ending the war in Afghanistan.

First, we run down the price and buy it cheap.

Then, we load it up with debt, buy off upper management to early retirement or golden parachutes, fire middle management, and replace the workers with Chinese prison labor.

After that, we show losses and sell it off to a Russian bank.

Problem solved, Afghanistan screwed.

Funniest Obama Speech Criiticism Yet, IMHO

Okay, so there is this thing running around that Obama "plagiarized" a line from Aaron Sorkin's "The American President". The line from that script is:

"This is a time for serious people, Bob, and your fifteen minutes are up. My name is Andrew Shepherd, and I *am* the President."

Okay now boys and girls, this one really tickles my funnybone.

The other day, the "Obama doesn't love America the way we do" TeaBagLady explained, "Obama has never run anything in his LIFE!"

These people seem stuck in 2008, and have been in denial ever since, because they obviously are incapable of noticing the simple fact that, yes TeaBagLady, apart from your oversimplification of his biography, he has in fact been running the office of president for the last three and a half years. Now, I know the birthers have this "he's not really the president" vibe going on, but most sane and reasonably informed people, if asked "Who is the president of the US?" would answer correctly.

But it is only in this denialist mindset do you come up with even imagining that if the President of the United States says, "I'm the President," then he must have plagiarized that brilliant piece of insightful commentary on what his job is.

It's like they are thinking, "Oh, why didn't Mitt think of saying that?"

I mean, come on now, these people go to a restaurant, sit down, and have someone come to their table to say, "I'm Julie, and I am your waitress" and whip out their smartphones to Google out where she came up with a line like that.

Romney's new reason for not mentioning the troops in Afghanistan!

He didn't want to leak their position to the enemy!

I'll bet he has five more this week.

Voyager II nearly hit by speeding object

JPL Researchers report small leather-covered spherical object has speeded past Voyager II earlier this evening. It was believed to have originated in Charlotte, North Carolina.

No Blaming - No Complaining

I believe I will give this one of my employees a positive performance review, and an extension of his contract.

The man knows how to do a job, and the correct attitude toward getting it done.

"Citizenship!" - and the Birther heads explode

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