September 6, 2014

Useless Household Tip: Make your own canned whip cream!

Warning: a bit of an ick factor.

August 30, 2014

Is There a Technological Advance That Could Bring Americans Together?

Recently, the Pew Research Center reported that the number of Americans with a “highly negative” view of the opposing party has more than doubled in the last 20 years. Americans hate one another more than ever, it seems. And we’re always finding new platforms to express it!

Which, presumably, is part of the problem. Obstructionist Republicans like Ted Cruz routinely turn to their “impressive” list of fanatical Twitter followers to prove that bajillions of Americans stand behind him. As if the highly self-selected sliver-of-the-world that is Ted Cruz’s Twitter feed scientifically represents the beliefs of most Americans. Technology that promised to connect us has instead isolated us, driving us from diversity to safe, homogenized forums and Facebook fan pages.

Has there been any technology developed in the last decade — be it Twitter or Facebook or Healthcare.gov — that hasn’t contributed to America’s expanding hyper-divisiveness?

While we were noodling on that, along came BuyPartisan, a smartphone app that allows shoppers to scan their groceries and figure out what political contributions are being made by the corporations that make them. “We’re trying to make every day election day for people,” said Matthew Colbert, the app developer. Choosing toothpaste can now be an act of political dissent.

Don’t get us wrong: We’re all for transparency, holding corporations responsible and voting with our man-purses. But sometimes we need a break! Or, as Jack Marshall, president of ProEthics, put it, “You don’t want every day to be an election. That’s why we have elections periodically, so people can calm down and work together.” Wanting every day to be an election is the kind of thinking that leads John Boehner to try to sue a sitting president. Can’t we all just get along?

OK, we’ll admit it. We’re probably going to download the free BuyPartisan app. It sounds kind of addicting, walking up and down the grocery aisle and finding out that, ironically, our tea bags actually are pro-Obama (take that, Teabaggers!) and our dish soap doesn’t believe in climate change. But it’s certainly not going to help bridge the gap between the aisles.

Are we doomed to grow further divided? Or is there a way to fight fire with fire? Technology is here to stay, but maybe hyperpartisanship doesn’t have to be! We just have to get those brainy app and tech developers to put their skills to better use. It’s time for them to come up with technology that’ll bring Americans together! Can it happen? What do YOU think?

(Original post, sources and poll at http://lesterandcharlie.com/2014/08/29/miles-of-aisles-of-dissent/)

August 16, 2014

Can This Southern Restaurant Prove It Isn't Biased?

Big business has a big mouth these days, but what comes out isn’t always pleasant. Chick-fil-A hates gays. Hobby Lobby has its panties in a knot over contraception. Taco Bell fires managers for hiring too many Mexicans. It doesn’t seem to end. Then we read about the firestorm surrounding Mary’s Gourmet Diner, a restaurant in Winston-Salem, NC.

Unlike those big corporations, Mary’s doesn’t hate! Mary’s simply wants to reward its favorite customers with a 15% discount. What could be wrong with that?

Well, it turns out that Mary’s favorite customers are the ones who pray before eating. The discount wasn’t advertised, but if the staff happened to catch you giving thanks for your daily dose of saturated fats, your bill would likely include a surprise 15% “Praying in Public” discount.



This practice went on for years, and probably would still be going on unnoticed had it not caught the attention of someone at a Florida Christian radio station. They posted a picture of a prayer-discounted check on the station’s Facebook page, asking followers “How cool is that?”

Not so cool, as it turns out. The picture went viral and attracted wrath not just from people old enough to remember what a Woolworths lunch counter is but also from some Christians who found it distasteful and un-Jesus-y to, as they saw it, essentially pay people to pray. (“What next,” wrote one commenter, “dragging people at gun point into churches?”)

After the Wisconsin-based Freedom from Religion Foundation sent Mary’s a terse letter — declaring that the discount violates the federal Civil Rights Act — Mary’s pulled the plug on the discount, leaving Mary Haglund “heartbroken.” She insists her intent was positive and never meant to offend. How did a little bit of good-old Southern Christian sweetness become illegal?

Poor Mary. Fifty years after the passage of the Civil Rights Act, she and half the country are still trying to figure out that pesky Title II — the part that makes it illegal for public accommodations to discriminate based on race, color, religion or national origin.

And stories like this keep coming around: As recently as 2012, a Pennsylvania-based restaurant caught flack for giving a discount to anyone who brought in a church bulletin on Sundays. But here’s where there’s hope! It turns out that that Pennsylvania restaurant managed to avoid anyone’s calling out the National Guard by simply offering its discount to anyone with a bulletin from any church — even an atheist one! See how fair that is?

Though we’re having a hard time picturing any bulletin-wielding atheists taking advantage of such awesome equality, we’re nevertheless wondering if Mary’s can’t do something similar: Prove that Mary’s loves everybody, not only people who publicly pray.

So it should be simple. Just embrace diversity! How can Mary’s do it? What do YOU think?

(Note: posted by authors. Original text, sources and poll at http://lesterandcharlie.com/2014/08/14/bloody-mary/)

August 8, 2014

What's the next book title Corporate America will sneak into kids' libraries?

“Won’t someone please think of the children?”

We’d like to think somebody is thinking about the children, but for the right reasons. For example, one distracting hot button today is the potential advertising of legalized marijuana, which is probably the least of the worries that we should have about kids who are supposed to be taking care of us down the line. We should be happy that they could learn how to steal dad’s stash, smoke some weed and pass out to “The Big Bang Theory” rather than drink a pint of Jack Daniels and go for a joy ride in mom’s car.

But what this hot button is really about is something we do agree with in principle: over-marketing to children is a little sick when the only benefactor is a shady corporation.

One need only think of Joe Camel or the Sugar Pops Toad to remember that big business has a shameless history of using not-so-subtle methods to turn today’s kids into tomorrow’s customers.

We found more evidence when we read this article by Rachel Cloues, a teacher-librarian in San Francisco. Cloues works at one of the hundreds of schools that über-corporation Target has given boatloads of money to overhaul their libraries.

This is all done in partnership with the Heart of America Foundation, which is dedicated to finding ways for Corporate America to “volunteer” in their communities.

So far, so good, right? We’re all for corporations being altruistic and giving back. If they won’t give their workers a living wage, they might as well do something with all that cash.

But, according to Cloues, the story gets more interesting. After Target overhauled her library, it got an exciting visit from two famous NASCAR drivers who duly posed for pictures with students — in front of their bulls-eye-covered awesome race car! Then the drivers read a book to the kids, every one of whom got to sit on stadium cushions branded with the Target logo. Red-shirted Target employees circulated around. And everybody got to go home with a free Target bookbag!

We realize that kids in America get exposed to this kind of branding all the time. But in such a concentrated dose in what should be a trusted and educational environment? Predictably, this event made quite an impression on those little attendees. According to Cloues, one first-grader ran home and told her mother that, referring to one of the NASCAR drivers, “The guy [at the library] said they wanted you to buy stuff at Target!”

Even more outrageously, it turns out that Target’s library overhaul happened not during the summer months, when the school was closed, but after the semester started – to coincide with the late-fall opening of a nearby Target store. So, the school’s library was essentially stolen for a corporate promotion.

After a struggle, Cloues’s school library was spared the fate of other Target-targeted school libraries. Those victims got their walls plastered with Target’s corporate bulls-eye logo as well as another special corporate gift for the kiddies: shelves lined with books bearing titles like, “The Story of Wal-Mart,” “The Story of Starbucks” and “The Story of McDonald’s.” All lined up in the non-fiction section as part of a corporate-themed Built for Success series for children.

This got our brains a-whirling. Since Corporate America will keep being shamelessly shameless in marketing to impressionable kids, they probably aren’t going to give up on stocking school libraries. Certainly they’ll expand the Built for Success series. What titles do YOU think they’ll come up with next?

(Posted by author. Original post, sources and poll at http://lesterandcharlie.com/2014/08/07/kiddie-target-practice/)

August 2, 2014

What show in development would make YOU subscribe to Sarah Palin's awesome new cable channel?

By now, surely you’ve heard the awesome news that Sarah Palin launched her own subscription-based online network — The Sarah Palin Channel — where everyone’s favorite half-wit can reach her huddled masses directly and bypass those pesky “politically correct” media filters. And it’s only $9.95 a month!

When we heard the news about PalinTV we got pretty excited. We’re paying a fortune to Time Warner Cable for 665 channels of drivel; why not make it 666?

And you gotta respect Palin’s faith in the free market. If she’s giving the people what they want — with the trivial exception of health care, reproductive rights, gay marriage, fifth-grade science, or common sense – well, that’s what America’s all about! Can’t possibly do any harm. It might even be fun!

Some of America’s most cherished shows have been comedies and science fiction. So, if she sticks with what she knows best, how can the Palin Channel go wrong?

Well, here’s a problem. As anyone who’s ever worked in media knows, you need variety. Finding good and varied content is by far the most enduring challenge of any media enterprise, and it takes a village of twelve-year-olds to come up with ideas. But, it turns out, Palin is responsible for all the content of her namesake channel. Period.

We haven’t gone behind the pay wall yet, but, if it’s going to succeed, Palin’s internal brain trust will have to do better than what its homepage (sarahpalinchannel.com) suggests. It’s populated with filler like a “Word of the Day” feature and a cynical “countdown clock” to the end of the Obama administration.

And, as The New Yorker (which generously went behind the pay wall) points out, the Palin Channel so far relies too heavily on clips like ones where Palin reads a story to her son, or pops up in her kitchen to discuss vegetables.

That’s less compelling then a dead dear on the roof of a jeep.

Palin’s concept of programming is why top media execs down fistfuls of high-blood-pressure medication with their liberal-elite grande iced half caf triple mocha latte macchiato every morning.

But fear not! Governor Quit is never far from spewing new ideas. And we have proof. We were fortunate enough to get a sneak peek at the Palin Channel’s development slate. We can’t say for sure that all of these shows will make it past infancy or make the Palin Channel a powerhouse media giant, but we can hope.

We want the Palin Channel to succeed! If Palin is up to her schoolmarm glasses in spec scripts and tedious production meetings, she’s too busy to be on the streets shouting that Shakespeare made up just as many words as she did.

So take a gander at this sneak-preview peek of all the shows being considered — and remember: Palin herself is overseeing the content! OK, now: tell us which show would make YOU want to subscribe?

(Reposted by authors from original article and poll at http://lesterandcharlie.com/2014/08/01/betcha-by-golly-wow/)

July 25, 2014

How Would YOU Want to See Your Favorite TV Show Skewer the GOP?

Have you ever secretly wanted to be a fly on the wall at a GOP fundraiser? No? Why not? Liberal infiltration at private events is what got us Mitt Romney's infamous comments about the "47%" and, more recently, Republican Congresswoman Renee Ellmers' comments that Republicans can reach those elusive lady voters as soon as they bring the issues "down to a woman's level." Whatever that means.

We'd rather stay at home and watch twisted reruns of Ozzie and Harriet than spend precious hours in a room full of people who agree that the biblical Great Flood shows how overdeveloped hydrocarbon energy has nothing to do with climate change.

But we're eternally grateful to the brave men and women who endure these events and tell the rest of us what Republicans really say when they think we can't hear.

Which is probably why Barbara Bush was clutching her last pearl when the blood-sucking characters on HBO's "True Blood" did just that -- infiltrate a Ted Cruz fundraiser!

Conceding that it’s hard to sneak into a (fictional) private GOP event at the George W. Presidential Library – because only "assholes" are invited – the "True Blood" characters nevertheless managed to crash one. How? By convincingly disguising themselves as -- this is the actual term they use -- "Republic*nts." (Which almost rhymes with Republinuts.)

Cruz responded to the “True Blood” episode via Facebook. Now, we’re a little surprised that Ted Cruz has HBO and can actually boot up a computer. But his reaction was that he was "astonished." He called the storyline "misogynist and profanity-ridden." He managed to inject some humor, however, in spite of his astonishment, saying he was sorry to have lost the vampire vote. But he was amused that "HBO is suggesting that hard-core leftists are blood-sucking fiends" and that it hardly matters since "the dead tend to vote overwhelmingly for Dems."

Let’s be fair. Cruz has a point -- not about dead people voting Democratic, but about the relative gracelessness of the episode.

And that’s too bad, because we see no reason whatsoever for all of our favorite TV shows NOT to take swipes at the GOP.

It set our minds a-whirlin', wondering what awesome opportunities have been missed on television. Poking fun at conservatives shouldn't be limited to SNL and Jon Stewart -- ALL our favorite shows can get in on the fun! And no one has to resort to throwing around words like "Republic*nt" to get in a good jab; the scope of GOP craziness is too broad for that.

So let's get clever! Tell us: How do YOU want to see your favorite TV show skewer the GOP?

(Posted by authors. Original article, sources and poll at: http://lesterandcharlie.com/2014/07/24/the-lying-nun/)

July 21, 2014

What Awesome Conservative Cartoon Death is America Missing out On?

Conservatives are always outraged about something. A few weeks ago, we told you about the right-wing umbrage being tossed around — not because of Obamacare – but because of good old comic books. Well, for the conservative Comic-Con set, it’s getting worse.

Conservative comic book writers have already complained that illustrated heroes have become too complicated. Superman is “less patriotic.” Batman is too “dark and ambiguous.” Moral relativism is ruining our cherished American medium, and the real villains are those crazy liberals conspiring to keep conservative cartoonists from telling their wholesome stories!

There’s only so much that conservative comic fans can stand before they corner the market on Kryptonite and hold the world hostage, they cried!

All this yammer was before Marvel Comics thwakked conservatives this week with a double-whammy. First, we learned that the hammer-wielding Marvel character Thor will be reintroduced to readers as a woman. And the new Captain America will be black! Holy agenda, Batman!

This might have been enough to send these folks over the cliff. But then we read some incredible news, this time from Archie Comics: Archie Andrews, beloved white-bread icon since 1941, will be killed off in a storyline that has him taking a bullet for a gay gun-control advocate.

Yes, you read that right. “Life With Archie,” a progressive Archie Comics spin-off that imagines Archie, Betty, Veronica and Jughead as adults dealing with cancer and money troubles, first made news when it introduced an openly gay character, Kevin Keller. Keller is portrayed as a military veteran turned US Senator who later went on to get gay married and take a firm stance in favor of gun control.

And now there’s this: The four-year-old spin-off series will conclude when Archie gets in between the gay gun-control Senator Keller and his would-be assassin.

If conservative comic book fans were sock-hopping mad before, this news is going to have them lining up at the Acme Corporation for a stockpile of instant holes and dynamite plungers.

Speaking of dynamite plungers, comic book characters do die. Jimmy Olsen, Lex Luther and even Hercules are pushing up daises along with hundreds of others.

So, back to those conservative writers who are complaining that comic book publishers don’t let them tell their stories. Are they of the opinion that everything should always stay the same, thank you very much, and let’s stop messing with things? Or would they take the side of killing off cherished characters?

We’d like to think these writers would rise to the challenge. No good writer, conservative or not, could forever resist the opportunity for a bold story move – even if that meant killing off an important character.

But how would they do it? If Archie Andrews is taking a bullet for homosexuals and gun-control advocates, how would these conservative writers put their spin on the inevitable death of a cherished character? And, more important, who would they kill? And how would they do it?

(Original post and survey at http://lesterandcharlie.com/2014/07/18/to-beep-or-not-to-beep/ . Reposted by authors.)

June 20, 2014

Don’t Look at New York in That Tone of Voice

New Yorkers may not have the best reputation, but there’s no denying that we got the smarts to somehow keep this “ungovernable city” humming. That can generate some resentment.

Here’s an example: In 2009, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, an Iraqi citizen held prisoner at a US-controlled detention facility in Iraq, was released by the Iraqi government. That was under an agreement signed the year before by everyone’s favorite president and super-smart Decider, George W. Bush.

Upon this guy’s release from that detention facility – according to US Army Col. Kenneth King – al-Baghdadi said, “I’ll see you guys in New York.”

But this turns out to be something more than the usual “Give my regards to Broadway” kind of statement. Although it wasn’t seen as a threat at the time and Liberty Travel agents were probably scrambling to get his phone number, everything is different now.

Turns out this al-Baghdadi character is the leader of the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS). This is the same group that has claimed responsibility for the mass executions of 1,700 Iraqi government soldiers, the horrifying images of which have been bloodying the pages of American newspapers of late. (Warning: graphic content.)

Taken at face value, and there’s no reason not to, the mass executions by ISIS are among “the worst atrocities in the region,” surpassing the Syrian chemical weapons attacks that killed 1,400 people.

So… back to that part where the leader of all this bloody hell says, “See you in New York.”

New York City is almost too used to terrorism attacks. (Need we list them?) And psychotic villains threatening us are, of course, nothing new. But New Yorkers aren’t exactly the kind of people you should mess with. Never were.

Remember, way back in 1942, in Casablanca, when the Nazi Major Strasser toyed with American expatriate Rick Blaine, asking him if he could imagine Nazis occupying the greatest city in America? Rick’s reply was succinct: “There are certain sections of New York, Major, that I wouldn’t advise you to invade.”

Is it any different now? New Yorkers foil evil plots every day. Whether our dry cleaners, tap-dancing neighbors, bank tellers or Donald Trump concoct them, we’ve usually got what it takes to put those criminal masterminds in their place. We’re famous for our wit and ingenuity. SO: If Iraqi terrorists attacked tomorrow, what crafty thing would today’s New Yorkers do? What do YOU think?

(Posted by author. Original post, sources and poll at http://lesterandcharlie.com/2014/06/19/dont-look-at-new-york-in-that-tone-of-voice/)

June 14, 2014

What awesome conservative comic book story lines are we missing out on?

The political world is reeling from the whopping KAPOW! that GOP House Majority Leader Eric Cantor just got from a Tea-Party insurgent in the Virginia primary.

How could this happen? How could one of the most powerful conservative jokers in Washington suddenly find himself without a job? Was Cantor “too calculating“? “Ambitious”? “Disconnected”?

Well, don’t mind us, but if being calculating, ambitious, and disconnected were likely criteria for a politician getting voted out of office, we imagine there would be no need for anyone ever to discuss term limits.

No, there’s something else. Perhaps Cantor was simply too Jewish? Conspiracy theories abound, including one that says that Virginia’s “open primary” attracted too many Democrats willing to cross party lines just to give Eric Cantor a big fat THWAPP! (Never mind that, given the Tea Party nut who won, this whole thing is like cheering the Riddler for defeating the Penguin.)

While the rest of the media sort this out, we have another story about shadowy liberals to bring to your attention. See, it’s not just the GOP Majority Leader who’s going to have trouble finding a job soon. It’s also comic book writers.

But not just random comic book writers. Conservative ones. And, trust us, it’s not because conservatives aren’t good storytellers. (See: FOX News.)

A little backstory: A long, long time ago (1954), comic book publishers in America united to create the “Comics Code Authority” in response to the fear (perpetuated by a much-debunked tome, Seduction of the Innocent) that comics were turning America’s youth into juvenile delinquents. Eventually (the 1990s), those delinquents had grown up and taken over and the Code was tossed out. Publishers were once again able to go with more difficult stories with complex, conflicted heroes.

In other words, comics were allowed to be interesting again. But a couple of established comic book writers fear that this return to “moral relativism” not only ruined the medium — it cost them their jobs.

In an op-ed for the Wall Street Journal this week, writer Chuck Dixon and artist Paul Rivoche decry the “moral ambiguity and leftist ideology” that have made superheroes “no different from the criminals they battle.” Superman became “less patriotic,” and Batman became “dark and ambiguous.”

These conservative writers and illustrators have “truth, justice and the American way” kinds of stories that they say are less ambiguous. But those doggone liberals won’t let them tell their stories! Holy vast liberal conspiracy, Batman!

So what’s up with this? Have comic books simply matured as a medium in telling more gripping stories with more interesting heroes and villains? Or is this really evidence of a conspiracy?

Either way, we’re all for free speech. And we think these conservative comic book writers should be heard! Bring it on! In the big, wide multi-verse, there should be room for everyone. So tell us your stories!

We can only wonder what conservative comic book titles we’ve been missing out on all this time.

- Little Unaborted Annie?

- The Incredible Butterfly vs. Dr. Gore?

- Marcus the Transformer Meets Bi-Curious George?

What do you think?

(Posted by authors. Original article, poll and references at http://lesterandcharlie.com/2014/06/12/holy-vast-liberal-conspiracy-batman/)

June 7, 2014

A Nazi Grows in Alabama

A church in Alabama highlighted America's addiction to taking quotes out context when it quoted Adolf Hitler on a billboard that was supposed to be about child education.

Snip:

Here, of course, it’s not just context that’s completely out of whack. It’s also unbelievable that anyone would use a quote from Hitler in the first place. And, in an incredible twist, the church billboard attributed the quote correctly to that insane brain-washer of youth and mass murder. So it’s not as if they didn’t realize who they were quoting.

Original post, containing source links and a quiz, is located here: http://lesterandcharlie.com/2014/06/06/a-nazi-grows-in-alabama/