Ew. Men, please take note. Women, don't puke.

There's this customer that I've attained. He comes in every other day with some piddly $5 job that he thinks is the most important job in my life.

He's a middle-aged, grey-haired man with a goatee and pierced ear. He pulls up on a crotch rocket. Yes, a crotch rocket. He waits until I get to the counter before he starts to take his helmet off and unzip his leather jacket to reveal a shirt that is unbuttoned to below his breast and his awesome gold chain. He then starts rattling off detailed instructions about whatever stupid job he has. Today, it was a 2 page fax. Wow.

While his fax is going through, one of my other...no...my BEST customer walks in to pick up his job. Mr. Crotch Rocket has taken over my entire counter with his helmet and personal crap, so I just nudge some of it over (he's on his cell phone...). I help my customer and am chatting with him in a normal tone of voice and printing his invoice out on a very noisy printer. I get him all taken care of and he tells me how wonderful I am to go out of my way to get his job done on such short notice. I love the guy, he gets what he needs.

Another customer walks in and we go through the same ordeal. Midway through taking care of the new customer, Mr. Crotch Rocket says in a sarcastic tone, "Well, I guess I'll have to take care of this phone call later since it's so noisy in here." WTF? Yeah, it's noisy because it's a friggin' PRINT SHOP and I have CUSTOMERS. I didn't realize he had rented this as his personal office space.

His fax is almost done when another customer walks in. This one, a mid-40ish very attractive customer that I've known for almost 10 years. I greet her, "Hey! Whataya got for me today?" Mr. Crotch Rocket is obviously much more interested in THIS customer than the others. "Oh! It looks like she has a job for you! And a check!" He giggles and addresses my poor unsuspecting customer "Checks are always good, aren't they?" She just kinda smiles and says, "Uh huh" and skitters out the door like she was being chased by wolves.

Mr. Crotch Rocket was all butt-hurt and continued to make MORE calls on his cell. Every call he made started out, "Hey! I'm sorry I missed your call. I was on my motorcycle and it's tough to take calls when you're on a motorcycle! HA...HA...HA..."

Good friggin' grief.

Men, you're sexy. You don't need a crotch rocket, tight leather jacket, earring, gold chain or any other midlife crisis related accessories. You need a personality. Real women will like you just fine.

Now, I'm going home to my middle-aged, sexy as hell, slightly chubby, talented and thoughtful husband.

Samsung Customer Support...

...is a bunch of poopyheads.

I'm not sure which unsmiley thingy to use. Use your imagination. Thanks.

A new respect for movers.

My kid's stuff was shipped to my house yesterday. I knew they were sending a semi, but HOLY MOLEY!!!! When the driver called to say he was on his way, I warned him about our roads. I live on a very, very narrow, windy (with very sharp turns), very hilly (with a few pretty radical drops) road. He kind of sighed and said, "Oh no. Well, we'll give you a call if there are any problems".

I started praying. My kid would freak out if they couldn't deliver his stuff.

My son got there about 15 minutes before the truck. GOOD LORD, MAN! This was a REAL semi. Not one of the ones I was expecting. It pulled up and out jumped a Hispanic man that was much shorter than myself (I'm 5'7&quot . He's the driver. He was a little shaken up, but laughed it off. They almost fell off the road a couple of times (yes, you can "fall" off our road into one of two canyons). He asked if getting out the other way would be easier. I smiled. "Um. Sure...sort of." He rolled his eyes and laughed.

They unloaded all my son's stuff in no-time, were super friendly and cautious. Not one of them broke a sweat or looked winded, not even the really large guy. This was also their third delivery of the day with lots of miles between each.

All I kept thinking was, I hope they're union and paid well. Tonite I'm looking the company up to check. FYI: United Van Lines.

Pastor to End Rooftop Vigil after Donation

List of acceptable words and terms, please.

I'm confused. I very seldom see anything hidden by a jury in the Lounge. I believe it's because LynnSin hasn't posted a list. Once we have a list of what we're allowed to say, we can invite the jury in to chastise us appropriately. Let's face it, some of you need a good chastising.

I'll start it off. From this point on the word "ginger" is no longer acceptable when in reference to a redhead. We shall from this day forth be referred to as Freakin' Awesome People. FAPs, if you prefer. There will be no more debate on whether or not we have souls. Frankly, my soul, or lack of, is none of your business. Please keep your religious views out of my body. If I choose to have a soul I will take one.

Excuse me, Juror #2?

At Tue Feb 21, 2012, 06:07 PM you sent an alert on the following post:

Moran or moron?

REASON FOR ALERT:

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate. (See <a href="http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=aboutus#communitystandards" target="_blank">Community Standards</a>.)

YOUR COMMENTS:

Besides the obvious, poster is obviously living in a box somewhere deep in the heart of Red State.

A randomly-selected Jury of DU members completed their review of this alert at Tue Feb 21, 2012, 06:15 PM, and voted 6-0 to HIDE IT.

Juror #1 voted to HIDE IT and said: No explanation given
Juror #2 voted to HIDE IT and said: Actually when I read the alert I think that should be hidden too for it's slam against 'red' states. But I think the poster is probably a troll so hide it.
Juror #3 voted to HIDE IT and said: No explanation given
Juror #4 voted to HIDE IT and said: the author is 'new' and apparently hasn't even been lurking long--so to be fair- i would say hide it and let it go....
Juror #5 voted to HIDE IT and said: Obvious troll.
Juror #6 voted to HIDE IT and said: Obviously inappropriate. Hide it.

Thank you.

I've officially driven myself insane.

For months, actually a year, I've been searching for the perfect, low-priced surround-sound system. It doesn't exist. So, today I decided to look at sound bars. Apparently, if I buy one of those I'm an idiot in the eyes of the nerd squad that infiltrates every damned site I visit. I can't friggin' win. I even joined Consumer Reports for a couple of months. Yeah, that's great if I have $1000 to spend. The internet has ruined my blissfully ignorant consumerism. I feel like a year of my life is gone.

I'm just going to go home and move the couch to 3 feet from the TV. It'll look awesome. Maybe I'll start a trend.

All this AND I got a massive paper cut from a cardboard box today. No Band-Aids available, so I have toilet paper wrapped with duct tape around my finger. Not one person I've seen today has made a comment, which makes me think that they think I'm loony and just like wearing toilet paper and duct tape for fun.

My son became a civilian last nite.

After 8 years as a Marine, he's now just one of us.

It's been a rough day for me. Memories are flooding what few brain cells I have left. Every milestone in his life, from his first steps to his marriage. Maybe it's my brain's way of purging some stuff to make room for upcoming milestones. Or, maybe it's just its way of telling me how proud I am to be his mother and how lucky I am to have such a great son.

I'm a mess, today.




Thanks, kid.

Pres. Obama military accomplishments?

Does anyone have a link? My Marine son is in need of some more deprogramming and I can't find the link. Not too long ago someone posted a chart of the accomplishments by category. Do any of my fellow BOGites remember?

What a cool day!

I got my refund! Woot!
The Husband brought me breakfast at work. Aw!
I woke up in less pain than usual. YAY!
And...the best part?

Someone I admire here got a heart. I had run out and couldn't afford to get any more. Just saw that someone else caught up with him/her. Thank you!!! (Yeah, that's a pretty general, "thank you" since I don't wanna name the name of the recipient. So, just thanks all!)