So it's Christmas again...

And it's just not a good time for for the last decade or so.

From loved, but abused relatives that died around this time under questionable circumstances, to pretentious, hypocritical friends, family and associates that think it's all about the stuff you've got, or buying people's affections with gifts. (with strings attached, like my alcoholic parents do)

This isn't a good time of year for me, and I tend to isolate more than usual to keep my sanity...with the problem being that isolation tends to come with its own brand of insanity if kept up too long.

I cut myself off from most relatives long ago, seeing most of them, on either side are either alcoholics/addicts of some kind, or their enablers, projecting their own bad behaviour and attitudes on myself and others. I'm the one that wouldn't put up with the behaviour directed at me so I became the bad one, the scapegoat. And learned the hard way that the way to win their game is not to play it, and cut contact...because I'll never be free of the role they've assigned me.

I just can't be around that kind of thing anymore, as it literally enrages me, doubly so if it's in a working environment.

This is the first time I've created an original post about this kind of thing on this forum, with the others just being responses to others. But I'm feeling a little more... screwy lately, thanks to lot of health and work issues recently, argument with a close childhood friend that's gotten a LOT more conservative lately, along with the judgemental, factless-based attitudes that come with it.

That's what's happening lately, and just trying to find other ways to deal with it all, as the depression is feeling a little strong.