When preparing your turkey today:

Don't forget to BUTTER THE BALLS!

176 reasons Trump shouldn't be President...

I just got a voicemail that cracked me up...

My buddy, Squeaky and I met back in 1997 when we were building the Bellagio in Las Vegas.
He lives in Augusta, Ga. and he came down here to So. Fla. for my 50th birthday. We hadn't seen each other in about 5 years and it was great to see him again.
While he was here I told him about the Cruise I'm going on in December and suggested he join me. I told him I could get him a stateroom at my cost and we could could have a great vacation together. It took him a coupla months, but he finally pulled the trigger and paid the $459 for his room.
Last weekend I get a voicemail from him. He's about three drinks into a bottle of Scotch and decided to call me.
"Hey man, I juss wanid t'say thanks for tawkin me into this trip man. This is gonna be a great time I jus' know it. I... I jus' wanid to say, well,... I love you, man. No, rilly I love ya. Ima have a drink in your honor. And this is why...coz I love you maaaannnn."
I can't wait til December.

Had a close call at work...

I'm an electrician. I was hooking up the main feeds that come from the utility transformer to the main switch for all of the buildings power. It's a part of my job that I really enjoy.
I had just finished terminating that last of 24 wires that have the diameter of a quarter into its lug on the switch when I noticed it was near quitting time. I got up off my bucket and walked thirty feet to my blueprint table and was filling out time cards for my temporary help. I was chatting with the guys when suddenly a bolt of lightning entered through the doorway and struck one of the girders holding up the roof- right where I was sitting not two minutes before. The crack of the lightning sounded like a grenade and the smoke and dust it caused made me think my switchgear exploded.
Everything was fine. No damage to the equipment.
But.. I was just sitting where that lightning bolt just hit. Had I not checked my watch and got up off that bucket I think I would have been killed.

Hug the kids, call your mom, kiss the cook who made you dinner. It can all end in an instant. And I just made 2500 posts.

Anybody got NFL Redzone?...

Where has this channel been all my life?
No commercials and all it shows are the plays that the teams score on. Totally awesome.
My sister turned me on to it about a month ago and I am hooked.

Here we go again. The Callmecrazy Cruise- Part Two...

Some of you may remember my New Year 2014 Cruise.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018551198

Well it's time to go do it again. Once again my BIL put me on his gambling junket and got me a cabin on the Celebrity Reflection heading to the Eastern Caribbean. Seven days, starting the day after Christmas and returning to Miami on Jan 2.
http://www.celebritycruises.com/ships/celebrity-reflection

Currently the cost of this cruise is about $1,400 per person, but because I have a gaming rating I pay only taxes and gratuities. Total price for me...$188.62! How could I say no to a week in the Carib in Dec/Jan for that price?
The incidentals are where they get ya. Coffee, tea, water and juices are free but soda and alcohol are charged to your room unless you purchase a drink package. They can get a little pricey, but if you are a big drinker they can be worth the cost. I purchased an alcohol package last time and it was a waste of money. I didn't drink nearly enough to justify the price. I think I'll just pay by the drink this time.
Internet. First time it's been offered on a cruise I'm taking and OUCH! $60.00 for 90 minutes a day. I'm getting the unlimited package for the whole week @ $200. Expensive but cheaper than the daily rate. And I think it's satellite internet so it's probably dial-up speed. But I gotta have it. Last time, I was getting antsy not being able to check into my online life while on the ship. Plus, I have two Fantasy League teams to keep track of.
Excursions: These are the little guided tours you can take while in port. Last time, I went swimming with stingrays in the Caymen Islands and rode the zipline on Labadee Island in Haiti. The zipline was a blast.
So far I've decided on a zipline tour through the rain forest in Puerto Rico. One of the lines is almost 600 feet long and 350 feet high. Takin my 6yo nephew with me on this one.
St. Thomas and St Maarten are the other two destinations on the trip. I plan on mostly shopping on St.Thomas. You get double the duty free rate there(almost $1200). So I have to find something to do on St. Maarten.

Has anyone taken this trip before? Got any ideas for sightseeing? There are many "swim with the dolphins" and "glass bottom boat and snorkeling" tours, but a few of them got poor ratings. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Something family friendly?

UPDATE: I've decided to go scuba diving on St.Thomas. Sounds like fun.

More to come...

The jury glitches are getting old...

The jury is full. Oh no, wait, it's not. The jury is no longer accepting votes, but here are the results of your jury service. The whole process is becoming a big joke. Is this gonna get fixed soon or what? I'm a star member because I believe in this place and what you're trying to accomplish here, but lately it seems no one is minding the store and I've been taken for a rube. Get back to work.

Another glitch report...

Just served on a jury and never got the results.
ON EDIT: It just showed up after I resubmitted my vote without the explanation this time. I didn't think you could do-over a jury service after you submitted it the first time.

This message was self-deflated by its author...

Anybody here join a fraternity or sorority while in college?

I was Theta Chi.