Today I am telling my boss of my intention to retire at the end of January. I am going to be the FT caregiver to my 3 grandchildren when my daughter goes back to work after her maternity leave. The baby girl will be 3 months then and the other kids are 4 (in preschool) and 8 (3rd grade).
I fully understand this is the definition of a first world problem. I have been payroll and benefits admin for a PA school district for 14 years. At 62 I qualify for full retirement in PA public schools. Plus here in PA, public employees qualify for full SS as both sides contribute.
My husband (age 60) has a good secure job; of course no job is really secure these days but hes been there 15+ years, its a stable company that treats their people well. I will go on their insurance for the next 3 years. Its a good Blue Cross PPO, comparable to the Aetna I have now but more expensive for the employee. Not a high-deductible plan (thank God).
The only debt we have is the mortgage. Paid off my car loan and the rest of the Parent Plus loans we took for our son. No credit card balances. We can afford to live on his pay and my pension. If I have to I could start my SS too but would rather wait on that if we can.
I like my job and Im good at it, but I dont define myself by my career. I play in and Im business manager (volunteer) for a community concert band. Im very active at my church. None of those things will change.
But Im terrified to do this. Ive been putting off telling my boss for a while now. I told her I would give her lots of notice when I decided to retire. At my last review she basically begged me not to retire but she knows how old I am and that this day is coming sooner or later.
Am I an idiot for giving up a good job with great benefits, a short commute, that I can pretty much do in my sleep? Am I an idiot for trusting my husbands employer to keep us afloat for the next few years?
But...I promised my daughter. And I love my grandkids more than anything in the world. Im healthy. I dont want the baby going to daycare and getting sick all the time like my kids did. Kid #3 is their last so I can really retire in 5 or 6 years. I was never a SAHM with my kids. Heres my chance to be a SAHG. Ive been doing the business world thing for almost 40 years. Im looking forward to going to work in jeans and a T-shirt and no makeup.
Yes this is a first world problem. Tell me Im doing the right thing.
I just told my boss. I did it. She was very nice and understanding. I have a lot to do before Im gone. So relieved I got that over with.
... the thing to understand about the right's long-term obsession with "family values" is that they were never meant to apply to straight men in the first place. All these sex rules are about controlling women, LGBT people and people of color. When it comes to straight white men, red America has always tacitly understood that they get a pass to do what they want. Which is why, for instance, the same people who shake their fingers at college girls for wanting birth control will rush forward to make excuses for young men accused of rape even though the latter is not just about sex, but is also a violent crime.
As for why red staters get divorced more, the answer is stunningly simple: They get married more in the first place. They marry younger and marry more quickly after meeting someone, and then they are more likely to find themselves in bad marriages that need to be dissolved.
Ultimately, the thing to understand about Trump is that his life doesn't conflict with red-state "family values" in any way, and not because people in those places lead "messy" lives. It's because his career of serial marriage and adultery conforms to traditional gender roles, where wives are decorative and function as support staff, and mistresses are there to relieve men's sexual urges -- which women aren't really allowed to have.
And more. Truly great read. [link:https://www.salon.com/2018/07/03/so-much-for-donald-trumps-purple-values-his-red-state-support-stems-from-flagrant-sexism|
Yesterday we had Hymn Requests and someone always asks for one of the patriotic ones at the end of the Evangelical Lutheran Worship (ELCA) hymnal. After we sang "America the Beautiful" the woman sitting in front of me turned around and whispered "I hate what Trump is doing to this country." Told her I couldn't agree more. My fellow parishioner is an 80-something widow.
That conversation made my day.
I play in a community concert band and for our many summer concerts we play a lot of patriotic stuff which the audience loves. I have never in my life felt less patriotic.
I'm letting my payroll-manager freak flag fly...this was just released. If I hadn't changed our W4s and kept the new tax tables in place for myself and DH, we would owe next year!
Wonder how many folks will get an unpleasant surprise next spring.
Let me start by saying that my son is a recovering heroin addict.
There is a controversy raging in Philadelphia right now about "safe sites" where drug users can use clean needles and be supervised by medical personnel who carry Narcan in case of overdose. These sites would also provide information about recovery programs and (hopefully) a fast-track to rehab when the drug user is ready.
You can hear the objections now - "This will only encourage them!" and of course "but not in MY neighborhood!" But to me, parent of an addict, if these sites save one life then I am 100% in favor. Yes we want to end the scourge of addiction. We also want fewer people to die.
This is harm reduction - we're not going to solve this problem now but we can take steps to save lives and make the problem a little less awful while we work on a solution.
The gun nuts (we all know them) most common argument is "the bad guys are going to get guns anyway!" Yes BUT if there were restrictions maybe SOME people would not be able to get a gun, and there would be one less school shooting. One less needless death. Can we start there?
One of my son's HS classmates committed suicide at age 16, with his father's gun. Teenagers are impulsive. If Dad's gun wasn't handy, would this boy still be alive? More than likely.
We're not going to solve this problem overnight but we can work for fewer deaths. Of course their 2nd Amendment Rights are far more important.
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