He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

You've Got To Be Carefully Taught - South Pacific (1958)

President Obama sings Amazing Grace (C-SPAN)

Dog Feeling twitter feed

FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States

WASHINGTON—Putting the nation on alert against what it has described as a “highly credible terrorist threat,” the FBI announced today that it has uncovered a plot by members of al-Qaeda to sit back and enjoy themselves while the United States collapses of its own accord.

Multiple intelligence agencies confirmed that the militant Islamist organization and its numerous affiliates intend to carry out a massive, coordinated plan to stand aside and watch America’s increasingly rapid decline, with terrorist operatives across the globe reportedly mobilizing to take it easy, relax, and savor the spectacle as it unfolds.

https://www.theonion.com/fbi-uncovers-al-qaeda-plot-to-just-sit-back-and-enjoy-c-1819576375?utm_content=Main&utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=SF&fbclid=IwAR3hafVVXMZ_a64jXBOm_ee-2NYJz9kWPstUV3sIksmonc1lyU7wTkomc40&/setsession

Andrew Yang Loads Shotgun As Hissing, Crackling Copy Machine Lurches Towards Campaign Staff

WASHINGTON—Kicking off the power cord that was coiling itself around his ankle, Democratic presidential candidate Andrew Yang frantically attempted to load a shotgun Monday as a hissing, crackling copy machine lurched towards campaign staffers. “I’ve got the copier. Zach, you destroy the cell phones, and for God’s sake, everyone, stay away from the Keurig, it’s sparking,” said Yang, firing a shot that obliterated the sentient machine’s paper tray before pumping three more rounds into the dishwasher that had crept up behind him from the break room. “Quick, that fax machine is reactivating all the desktop computers, smash it before it gets to the thermostat. It’s me the electronics want, and they’ll kill anyone who gets in their way.” At press time, a lone iPad had beeped to life amidst the smoking ruins of democratic candidate’s former campaign headquarters, its charred, cracked screen reading only, “Yang Must Go.”


https://politics.theonion.com/andrew-yang-loads-shotgun-as-hissing-crackling-copy-ma-1836797439?utm_source=Facebook&utm_campaign=SF&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_content=Main&fbclid=IwAR2glQxmoye-BSUyPTkhpDOs9R_ve5KrGXX0VSUmM-dzIfH_5mFPxBJLLGg


Mr. Yang is doing something right if The Onion is talking about him.

Barbara Jordan impeachment speech

'That Place Is A Disaster,' De Blasio Watching Flooded NYC Subway On TV During Iowa Campaign Stop

PLEASANT HILL, IA—Shaking his head as he watched coverage of the city’s flooded subway system during a campaign stop, presidential candidate Bill de Blasio was overheard remarking Tuesday that New York appeared to be a complete and total disaster. “I can’t believe how miserable and hopeless that place looks,” de Blasio said as he visited the Pleasant Hill Diner in Iowa, observing that if he were elected president, then perhaps New Yorkers wouldn’t have to worry about such terrible things happening anymore. “How can people there stand it? I know I don’t want to live in a place like that. Somebody really ought to do something.” Before his aides ushered him to his next campaign event, De Blasio took one last look at the television and muttered that he was glad he didn’t have to deal with any of that mess.


https://politics.theonion.com/that-place-is-a-disaster-says-bill-de-blasio-watchin-1836642155



As a New Yorker this is too accurate.

Hamilton: Yorktown (World Turned Upsidedown) Live

Norfolk Tides Third Baseman Sent Down To Baltimore Orioles

BALTIMORE, MD—Hoping to give the still-developing prospect more time to find his game, the Norfolk Tides announced Wednesday that third-baseman Anderson Feliz would be sent down to the Baltimore Orioles. “Feliz has been dealing with a couple of injuries and he’s had a little bit of a slump, so we think this will be a good way to build up his confidence,” said Tides manager Gary Kendall, explaining that Feliz would be spending a season “working on the fundamentals” with the Baltimore squad until he’d worked his way up to the level of play consistent with AAA ball. “I know he’s disappointed right now to be leaving for Baltimore, but in the end, it’ll be for the best. He shouldn’t take this too hard because we consider him a big part of the future of the Tides. Right now, he’s a little over his head, but he’ll fit right in with the Orioles. And after another season, he should be ready to move on to bigger and better things.” Kendall went on to add that he was glad Feliz at least got some time with the Tides, as it might have been too big an ego hit to have him start for the Orioles on opening day.


https://sports.theonion.com/norfolk-tides-third-baseman-sent-down-to-baltimore-orio-1835884994?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=SF&utm_content=Main&fbclid=IwAR3cY-a8-cSnaRRTJpiBIJvYdWAc-TeJTeu_eZXGYbzajn1hTXGYir5N5lA