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Showing Original Post only (View all)Is anyone else just really tired? [View all]
I suffer from fatigue on a good day. But this year I'm having a hard time putting one foot in front of the other. The daily energy-suck of this administration, worrying about nuclear war, whether the repugs will let MF45 skate for his crimes (they did), the economy, the virus, the election, all are very draining.
It's hard to exercise, but I've worked out every single day for over 3 years. It's my "I don't give a shit about anything else" time. And I cook and garden and do other things to distract myself. Right now, I'm sewing masks. And it helps to do something even when I don't have the energy. Just stay away from heavy machinery.
I sleep well most nights, and I wake up feeling pretty good for just a split second, until my waking brain reminds me that we are in a worse nightmare than I ever imagined on that horrible day in 2016 when it was clear that we would have a monster in our White House who would endanger the lives of every one of us over at least the next 4 years. I don't post on FB anymore, but I did put my photo as just a black square on day 1 and vowed to leave it like that until our country got back on its right footing.
This year was supposed to be a good one. It was the year we paid off our mortgage, our daughter is graduating with her master's degree, and our friends were going to visit us from Germany. Well, we did pay off the mortgage, which is a good thing. Daughter is likely graduating, although she's been learning and teaching from home for several weeks. The award she earned will not be presented at a banquet, and she won't have a graduation ceremony. Normally, we would be celebrating. We couldn't even have a beer with her when she passed her oral exams yesterday. Our friends can't visit. Even before coronavirus, it was not worth the risk while people were being turned around at someone's whim because of all the shit that comes out of the orange anus. And I'm still nervous about the election delivering another 4 years of this. I've learned not to ever ask how much worse it can get.
Yet, we still have an income and we're still healthy. Everyone we know still has an income and is still healthy. We are thankful for that. Still, it feels as if we'll never get out of this rabbit hole and it's exhausting. We grieve for those who have lost loved ones and are intensely aware of how much the last thing they need is social distancing. We are aware that even before this, so many families were one paycheck away from disaster and now they have that disaster.
It's just all so much. And it's making me more fatigued than ever.