Former First Pornlady considering imminent court appearance [View all]
Following Stormy Daniels’ testimony on how trump slobbered honeybunch nummy nums on her during their magazine paraphilia party, things have gotten a little locker-room talkish there in the court. What to do. I’d say this week’ll be a fine time for kinky mom Melania - the angelic Azrael of MAGA - to be exhumed and finally show her pretty fish-egg-smeared face.
And do what before her adoring public? Show trump support?
Look it’s her! Cameras are rolling, and what’s that comin outta her leopard-skin bag? She’s flashin’ that writ of divorce, been in there for years. And she didn’t even plagiarize it. Right there on the courthouse steps with tears freezing softly upon her embalmed cheek, the wind stirring her $200,000 haircut, she confronts her favorite husband, best husband ever.
Donald yowls, “But Marla I love you!…and our son what’s his name too! Unfair!!” Among the tens of thousands of supporters watching this in the street, biggest crowd ever, a guy in a red hat n’ army boots yells, “Atta boy Luther!”
I tell you what -- this is bonafide big accordion hands stuff. Best ratings. He’ll squeeze that accordion like it’s Ivanka’s ass. Big sympathy from the yokels and a boost to the PAC bottomline. Plus Morticia I mean Medusa, wait Melanoma - dammit I meant Melania - gets her ferocious public revenge. Revenge, her dearest prayer and wish…as written in her newly released diary, “Did I Really Change the Diapers of a Man who Paints His Face and Sells Baseball Cards?” Subtitled “For That Kinda Money, Fuck Yeah I Did!”, imitation signed genuine diary copies on sale $89.99 five ez payments.
Cheaper than his bible, unfair. But free publicity.
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