This message was self-deleted by its author

[Denninmi]

42. Locking. Didn't post this to start a fight over who's MH stigmas are worse.

It always degenerates into an argument over stigmatization. So, I'm locking it. Posting the original below for reference:


At 3:10 PM on 08/22/2012, I was misdiagnosed by a psychiatrist as bipolar, and intimidated, more or less ordered against my will and in spite of going rapidly from stating my objections to pleading for this doctor to not do this to me. I "presented" with extreme anxiety, panic attacks, depression and insomnia. I stated clearly and truthfully on intake forms, which were cursory, that I had had suicidal thoughts at times, but also made it explicitly clear that I had no intent. And that I was there because I wanted help. I made this statement verbally - I can't live like this, I want to change my life for the better. I believe this doctor "heard" only the first half. I was given an ultimatum to comply within 36 hours. The "or else" was implicit involvement, threat of anyway", of the authorities.

I believed this was a death sentence. Because of the nature of the illness. Because I would lose my career in a nation of no real social net. Because of stigma, rejection by family, friends. Because of fear of those with a mental health condition. My mind, not in good shape to begin, ran wild with panic. I left there genuinely suicidal, wanting to die at my own hand before fate tortured me to death. I saw myself meeting my death homeless and alone in a Detroit alley.

I was diagnosed in less than 10 minutes, with almost no verbal input, with a short "sounds like bipolar to me". Sloppy medicine. I later learned that this doctor has a terrible reputation on online review sites, has had actions at the state licensing level, and, although I am kind of reading between the lines, I think lost admitting privileges at one hospital. I found this doctor through a physician referral site, I failed to check her out AT ALL. My bad, NEVER AGAIN. ALWAYS check out the reputation and license status of any physician prior to seeing them. ALWAYS, PLEASE! Take away one from my saga.

Not posting for sympathy. Not for support. I am posting this to raise awareness of something. I sought out a new, competent doctor. I checked her out extensively. She has a stellar online reputation. A clean license. Many years experience. Professional accolades and recognition. Admitting privileges at major hospitals. She has been everything I wanted, a kind and professional partner in healthcare who is genuinely concerned and who works with me to fix the damage.

Now, the REAL reason I post this - I was correctly diagnosed with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I would like to raise awareness of misdiagnosis of this disorder. Why did I lose it in the first place? Because, of my late father. I grew up in an atmosphere of domestic violence and abuse. I took the blows for my mom when I could. It left me more scarred than I knew. I was held at gunpoint several times as a teen by him while he berated me as the effiminate (he believed) bastard child of my mother's (non-existent) "lovers". Typical abuser. I ran from that model as I ran from the misdiagnosis. I am a good man, despite some problems. Then I was sent over the edge ladt year when I received death threats on the job. I lost it, and it was not pretty.

PTSD of both forms is often misdiagnosed as other things, and then not treated correctly. Always make sure you get a proper diagnosis, and proper treatment with any disease. If you have doubts, be your own best advocate.

I am doing dramatically better now. Still a work in progress, but I have life and hope for the future.

Peace and love to you.