Asking for help- Why and what it does both good and bad. [View all]

[Are_grits_groceries]

Last week I asked for help here. Thanks to OneGrassRoot I was able to make a request on Wishadoo and have it posted here too. The post I made is here:
Are Grits Groceries
http://www.wishadoo.org/wishlist/199/money-for-repairing-my-car-new-glasses-other/

The good part is that I may receive some money to alleviate my problems. The concrete results are enormously helpful.

I also experienced some less tangible results. I received a little over $300. Each donation lifted my spirits and made me feel less lonely. I had thought about this before I asked, but the intensity of these feelings surprised me. It was a very welcome effect.

The detrimental effect is that I feel like a loser. That can be reinforced by the negative stereotypes around. After being able to make it for years on my own, I can't anymore. Asking brings a hard-edged reality to my situation. It is deflating.

Am I throwing a pity party? I do go through periods imagining myself in unrealistic future scenarios. "Oh woe is me. I'll have to live thru the snow outside with my 2 cats." Snow? I live in SC. My Grandmama's version was "Nobody loves me. Everybody hates me. I'm going in the garden and stick worms up my nose." What can I say? It runs in the family.

I am in no way ungrateful for any help of any kind. The act of receiving help is one of relief as opposed to asking. In addition, people on DU can be kind in many ways no matter the situation. I know those here do what they can.

These are my thoughts. I have no idea if anyone has ever wondered about this. I still need help, but I know I will live through the snow.