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In reply to the discussion: So why exactly is "tone" or "approach" more important than actual issues that affect us all? [View all]Shandris
(3,447 posts)196. Sounds like a very enlightening journey. My deepest admiration.
I -suppose- you get a break this time. I'm not 'old' yet, but...I'm starting to know how it feels slowly but surely. Not slow enough, of course! Knew I was in trouble the first time I needed a sugar cream pie and stopped to ponder whether I should just go -buy- one instead of baking it the old-fashioned way. That's a baaaaaad sign.
Ahem. I think we've pretty much reached accord here, and WOW am I sleepy. I really should take a nap. Doubt I will, but it seems a good way to end a fun subthread.
Cheers, Seabeyond!
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So why exactly is "tone" or "approach" more important than actual issues that affect us all? [View all]
nomorenomore08
Dec 2013
OP
And if they don't have a logical, valid reason for their opposition, then there you go...
nomorenomore08
Dec 2013
#2
Yeahhhhhh, no. Tone -is- important. It's not -more- important (duh), but it is/can be...
Shandris
Dec 2013
#4
I can't speak as to how often tone is used as an excuse; I can only safely speak for...
Shandris
Dec 2013
#39
I did answer. I said, it's one thing to be obnoxious to a particular instance of bigotry
stevenleser
Dec 2013
#52
Well, if you are making it into an SAT question, I cant say for sure EVERYONE who is
stevenleser
Dec 2013
#54
Calling those who disagree with you "obnoxious" is not smart. It just alienates your allies.
Squinch
Dec 2013
#91
what does 48 have to do with anything. a man that is angry at us, pointing the finger at us, again
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#164
brilliant. ignore what is actually posted to you with repeat. what does that do?
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#177
you owuld think wrong. it would be those accused of being angry when they are not. it would being
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#154
your whole post is directed at insulting 'they". that is acceptable though your "tone" is fine?
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#185
the point is your whole post is insults toward a group. you define the group. tone pleasant,
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#195
how did Tone swing Indiana ... ? Am I missing something? Is that the unrelated thing of which you
Tuesday Afternoon
Dec 2013
#51
all i know is more than not, i am being givin an emotion that i am not feeling and i feel is no
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#163
i prefer people to ask. allowing one an opportunity to clarify. i am not much into assumptions at
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#181
Well said. I think we're actually pretty close in this regard, but my verbiage still...
Shandris
Dec 2013
#187
Exactly who am I "mocking"? And I don't particularly need "allies" seeing as I'm a man.
nomorenomore08
Dec 2013
#69
Hmmmm. You know, I think you would have better luck making your point if you were nicer.
Squinch
Dec 2013
#82
I am happy with my contribution to the discussion, but thanks for the suggestion.
Squinch
Dec 2013
#263
So, I take it you don't like the tone of the OP's question. And yet your post is quite snarky.
Squinch
Dec 2013
#79
But why take it so personally to begin with? I didn't single anybody out.
nomorenomore08
Dec 2013
#268
Okay, I was a little overzealous myself. Mainly because I was fed up with what I saw as
nomorenomore08
Dec 2013
#281
I've actually been watching the Niners-Cardinals game, sort of ducking in and out.
nomorenomore08
Dec 2013
#292
Well said. I don't care what issue you are trying to further. Tone matters. nt
stevenleser
Dec 2013
#12
i guess if you call a group you have disdain for as generally obnoxious in a pleasant tone,
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#167
Sarcasm can cut both ways tis true but, it is a Tone therefore deserves mention.
Tuesday Afternoon
Dec 2013
#49
but then tuesday, there is the passive aggressive and could be saying the ugliest, in a passive
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#17
Yes, I understand and the passive/aggessive is the hardest for me to counteract.
Tuesday Afternoon
Dec 2013
#21
sea, regarding your hides being due to your tone ... Not all of your hides should have happened
Tuesday Afternoon
Dec 2013
#36
If yr talking about not being able to discuss an issue without being abusive...
Violet_Crumble
Dec 2013
#9
and what about the people in this thread subtly talking about others, assigning them characteristics
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#170
exactly. You are not effective in your argument when you're abusive and you turn people
liberal_at_heart
Dec 2013
#22
ah.... tone. there is a problem with my tone? i did it pleasantly. i merely pointed out tone.
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#172
161 171 174. what is in those tones? are they obnoxious? productive? will they get a hide?
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#183
"Sit Down & Shut Up." That's what they always tell us. "Do you want the GOP to win?!!"
blkmusclmachine
Dec 2013
#15
Imagine for a moment everyone on DU behaving that way about their most important issue.
stevenleser
Dec 2013
#19
Not to be pedantic, but those issues were not resolved by being obnoxious on DU
stevenleser
Dec 2013
#25
For starters, you offer a false dilemma. There is a lot in between polite and obnoxious.
stevenleser
Dec 2013
#33
Not that "obscenity" doesn't have its place as well - e.g. "Fuck you you fucking racist asshole!"
nomorenomore08
Dec 2013
#293
being blunt, to the point, factual, honest, does not equal obnoxious. not everyone
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#175
That person has had a number of posts hidden recently so that situation will probably be resolved
stevenleser
Dec 2013
#42
stoke the fire, attack the duer, create the outrage... again polly. been there. go at it.
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#206
we are focused on tone. the words you chose are hostile. all abotu the tone.
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#252
I see that it bugs you deeply that you falsely accused someone. nt
Waiting For Everyman
Dec 2013
#253
One of them has more than five hidden posts, yet somehow manages to say afloat.
Vashta Nerada
Dec 2013
#58
a whole post of ugly as you insult others for what you perceive the same? but, that is good, right?
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#204
When seeking allies in a struggle, it's in the seeker's interest not to be a jerk
Orrex
Dec 2013
#103
No one has the power to "set the rules" (except, say, the moderators of a website).
nomorenomore08
Dec 2013
#267
I can think of one good reason why tone is probably more important at our venue of discussion.
pacalo
Dec 2013
#67
Because if you alienate all your would-be allies, you won't have any left and your cause will fail.
Jester Messiah
Dec 2013
#76
Many times the argument of tone is projected when no such thing has taken place.
boston bean
Dec 2013
#86
Politicians and corps are focused on marketing (ie the 'con') more than real things
on point
Dec 2013
#81
Oh, now that isn't nice. Maybe if you said it in a nicer way, people would listen.
Squinch
Dec 2013
#85
It really was. I hate that person got "used" like that but, it just shows how effective
Tuesday Afternoon
Dec 2013
#182
I've seen more personal attacks against feminists and a group of feminists on DU
boston bean
Dec 2013
#89
I see a discussion of an issue, where people personally attack, instead of a discussion of the issue
boston bean
Dec 2013
#99
If you would like to continue in calling people liars instead of the discussing issues
boston bean
Dec 2013
#104
When you would like to actually discuss a feminist issue with me, let me know.
boston bean
Dec 2013
#109
I wouldn't call my characterization of the "tone" argument victimization, but a feminist POV.
boston bean
Dec 2013
#127
You are right polly, I got down in the mud with you at the beginning of this thread.
boston bean
Dec 2013
#144
See that's what I wanted to say, but was distracted with all the personal accusations!
polly7
Dec 2013
#135
And why should people who are merely telling the *truth* about the world we live in, be personally
nomorenomore08
Dec 2013
#273
So she should expect personal attacks, but she is the one with the tone problem?
Squinch
Dec 2013
#307
Diversionary tactic by non-progressives. That's what political correctness is, too.
valerief
Dec 2013
#137
well. i made it thru half the thread. posts seem directed exclusively at dissing hof as they
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#215
and you really ignored what i put in this reply, swinging the conversation in a different direction.
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#226
Can you point me to some threads where you are being discussed and insulted by name on DU? nt
boston bean
Dec 2013
#231
see, and i do not know that is true. i do know that on this thread, your posts were
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#235
honestly, i cannot recall. i would have to read it. i do know, that over the last couple days,
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#241
Sometimes it takes a crowbar, not soft words to separate the true from false
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#248
Why should women have to constantly coddle male feelings? That's what pisses me off, as a man.
nomorenomore08
Dec 2013
#276
Fair enough. But people always seem to try to make it about *their feelings* instead of what's
nomorenomore08
Dec 2013
#282
And what the hell do you, as a man, have to be "irritated" about? Some mean feminist
nomorenomore08
Dec 2013
#284
That last line is kind of the whole point I've been trying to make. Thank you for getting it.
nomorenomore08
Dec 2013
#286
personally, i thought his words were horrible. i didnt not even notice tone. and yes,
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#280
I don't think it is but some folks completely key on tone and many other weigh it heavily
TheKentuckian
Dec 2013
#287
On a practical level, you're right. Emotional content can never be simply disregarded.
nomorenomore08
Dec 2013
#290
pretty passive agressive post. instead of coming out with what you're really talking about here
Pretzel_Warrior
Dec 2013
#297
It was intended to be general, applicable to any number of things, but in the context of recent
nomorenomore08
Dec 2013
#300
"And it certainly isn't abusive behavior to talk about things you don't want talked about."
nomorenomore08
Dec 2013
#316
"vocal minority feminists" i have not seen one post you have made where you do not insult
seabeyond
Dec 2013
#313
That's a valid point. Shock and outrage have their place, but it's best to use them sparingly.
nomorenomore08
Dec 2013
#318
But what if otherwise left-leaning people make arguments that smack of right-wing talking points?
nomorenomore08
Dec 2013
#317