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In reply to the discussion: Dear White America: Its time to get the message [View all]sheshe2
(83,785 posts)193. Perspective indeed, cui bono.
So very sad that "The Talk" has to happen at all, to keep the children safe.
One African-American family that we became friends with when our sons were in middle school told us that they didn't let their older son drive until they were comfortable that he knew how to be "properly deferential" if he were pulled over by the police. Until then, it had never occurred to us that we would need to add training in "how to act in the event that you're stopped by the police" to our list of teenage driving skills.
So, we had "The Talk" with both of our sons before they learned to drive. While aching inside, we rattled off the drill: Show your hands, smile, do not appear threatening and never talk back. One of our sons insisted that he would sue any police officer who stopped him without cause, but we were pretty certain that he understood and would follow our instructions. We were all shocked -- especially the boys -- to learn the vital nature of our advice when their DWB came true.
Most whites are unaware of how racism works and how race, ethnicity and culture are linked. One reason for that lack of awareness is what feminist and anti-racist activist Peggy McIntosh calls "white privilege." McIntosh says that whites carry 'an invisible package of unearned assets' that include, for example, turning on the television and seeing members of their race, finding a hairdresser who knows how to cut their hair and having their success or lack of success be attributed to their race. Perhaps the most significant privilege whites have is the ability to know nothing about the experiences and cultures of people who are not like them.
In a society where race is still very much a factor, it's not just white parents of children of color who need to have "The Talk" with their children. We all need to teach our children about the consequences of cultural perceptions of race. In fact, it's time for all of us to have that larger conversation about race with each other.
So, we had "The Talk" with both of our sons before they learned to drive. While aching inside, we rattled off the drill: Show your hands, smile, do not appear threatening and never talk back. One of our sons insisted that he would sue any police officer who stopped him without cause, but we were pretty certain that he understood and would follow our instructions. We were all shocked -- especially the boys -- to learn the vital nature of our advice when their DWB came true.
Most whites are unaware of how racism works and how race, ethnicity and culture are linked. One reason for that lack of awareness is what feminist and anti-racist activist Peggy McIntosh calls "white privilege." McIntosh says that whites carry 'an invisible package of unearned assets' that include, for example, turning on the television and seeing members of their race, finding a hairdresser who knows how to cut their hair and having their success or lack of success be attributed to their race. Perhaps the most significant privilege whites have is the ability to know nothing about the experiences and cultures of people who are not like them.
In a society where race is still very much a factor, it's not just white parents of children of color who need to have "The Talk" with their children. We all need to teach our children about the consequences of cultural perceptions of race. In fact, it's time for all of us to have that larger conversation about race with each other.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marlene-g-fine/when-white-parents-have-the-talk-with-black-sons_b_4386310.html
Thanks cui, well said.
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I don't know- I thought it was a smart, sad, thought provoking post showing amazing activism ...
bettyellen
Feb 2014
#119
The hurtful part was the fact that these black people had and have to do anything to gain
Maraya1969
Feb 2014
#121
American Culture includes Racism, and yes there are racists on DU and they are not progressives
JI7
Feb 2014
#108
To be honest, there really *isn't* a widespread (actual) racism issue on DU.
AverageJoe90
Feb 2014
#208
if you look at some bizarre reactions here- imagining that this is about ALL white people?!?
bettyellen
Feb 2014
#176
Yes, and it reminds me of the reaction to the threads about objectifying women and,
cui bono
Feb 2014
#216
No, none of that matters. Whites are bad, bad people. Simply because their skin is white.
Skip Intro
Feb 2014
#3
That doesn't change the fact that police are likely to kill blacks more than whites.
cui bono
Feb 2014
#104
yeah- stats that show a "good portion" of white america is doing something now...
bettyellen
Feb 2014
#192
people re-post activists' messaging from blogs all the time here and no one takes it personally-
bettyellen
Feb 2014
#205
Yes, many of us can all draw some parallels in our lives in order to understand
theHandpuppet
Feb 2014
#171
so you are suggesting black deal with those "killed by other black people" before they are allowed
bettyellen
Feb 2014
#231
Oh my God. You just won this thread. And NO ONE deserves that smack down more than the one
Number23
Feb 2014
#250
When a rock is thrown into a pack of wild dogs, the one that yelps is the one that got hit.
Ikonoklast
Feb 2014
#196
Do you think only white supremacists are racist? Did supremacists write the SYG law?
cui bono
Feb 2014
#105
Exactly. White supremacists, a small sliver of the population, are not the problem.
Squinch
Feb 2014
#136
You know the complaining here is akin to the complaining about "repressing male urges"
cui bono
Feb 2014
#209
Hey, it's your opinion. You must be proud of it if you're going to write up a post expressing it.
jeff47
Feb 2014
#96
(sigh) Don't twist the OP like a pretzel to justify your snark. It's unbecoming,
IrishAyes
Feb 2014
#168
If you persist in thinking that the life situation of one person is all about YOU,
IrishAyes
Feb 2014
#172
You must admit I've benefited from some great mentoring here. Especially in the BOG, if I
IrishAyes
Mar 2014
#315
Yes, we probably need to visit there more often! Just haven't been posting many OPs, lately!
freshwest
Mar 2014
#316
Nope, no politics allowed in my fiction. That's because they're fiction, ya know? If I wrote for FNN
freshwest
Mar 2014
#319
"Allies shouldn't need us to hold their hands on this. It is not personally about you. "
bettyellen
Feb 2014
#117
You really need perspective. How can you not agree that "white america" is a problem?
cui bono
Feb 2014
#226
I'm pretty damned white. I don't feel 'called out' by this or anything like it. n/t
freshwest
Mar 2014
#307
Many individuals of privileged class lack the ability to understand that premise.
Gravitycollapse
Feb 2014
#64
Everyone of those is true and should be heard by all. It's no way to live, being treated like that!
freshwest
Mar 2014
#308
Except when it comes to convicting people for murdering black teens who are doing things that teens
Squinch
Feb 2014
#66
some people are more offended by this thread title than the fact zimmerman and dunn
JI7
Feb 2014
#92
Because they're fucking narcissists! Their precious, precious fee-fees are the only thing
nomorenomore08
Feb 2014
#115
I wish it was surprising. The usernames engaged in it are *especially* not. nt
redqueen
Feb 2014
#178
They come flooding out like rats in a broken sewer line whenever race threads are posted.
Starry Messenger
Feb 2014
#225
I really believe that this is the death rattle of overt racisim in America...
Walk away
Feb 2014
#39
I see our President as a role model for everyone - but POC have a special need to overcome the
freshwest
Mar 2014
#310
THIS is a FANTASTIC INSPIRATION. Great activism on the part of the groups shown.
BlancheSplanchnik
Feb 2014
#50
I remember 90% of those disgusting posts, but didn't reply. They are a lost cause! n/t
freshwest
Mar 2014
#312
But in a 'post-racial' America, why do whites still identify as white? Methinks those worried about
freshwest
Mar 2014
#313
Right? Like- Why isn't there a white history month?!?! Did She She ever think about that? *sarcasm*
bettyellen
Feb 2014
#118
for the life of me, I do not get the offense taken here. do black lives not matter? is it hurting
bettyellen
Feb 2014
#116
people post activist stuff here ALL THE TIME that could be- but isn't taken personally....
bettyellen
Feb 2014
#240
so "white america" remains above reproach, because you feel like it. And yes, it is whining.
bettyellen
Feb 2014
#181
white america is not a sterotype- it is a huge segment of our country- and how would anyone address
bettyellen
Feb 2014
#187
"Whiteness" is nothing more than a construct. a Potemkin Village as it were.
AverageJoe90
Feb 2014
#212
Pointing out to people of 1 skin color that people of another skin color = not-credible?
uppityperson
Feb 2014
#153
what "negative behaviors of a sub section of the black community" are hurting ALL whites?
bettyellen
Feb 2014
#180
Whew, what a relief, people here are as clueless about racism as they are about
Warren Stupidity
Feb 2014
#189
"the usual suspects" Yep, and there is a reason that they are the "usual suspects"
Number23
Feb 2014
#252
I noticed their absense as well but this pot is well stirred without them. nt
M0rpheus
Feb 2014
#258
I'm ambivalent about the choice of subject line, but K&R for content. n/t
lumberjack_jeff
Feb 2014
#263
OK, kwassa, let's start at the top. Communications - basic communications. When you're crafting
WestSeattle2
Feb 2014
#281
I can't for the life of me figure out why some people feel compelled to take offense at this
BainsBane
Feb 2014
#303