A feminist issue - caregiving of elderly parents

[politicat]

15. True by necessity in my family -- all women.

In the last generation, I'd say it was more an economic decision (which sexism drove -- the two sons had more lucrative careers and the daughter had been injured on the job so she was a better candidate for the primary) but in my generation, I only have sisters and female cousins, and my mother's brothers all died young.

On the other hand, just because we're being forced into it doesn't mean we're not taking the economic issues seriously. Whoever is the primary caretaker gets a salary - with SS withholding - and respite built in. It isn't cheap, but getting old isn't cheap. We spend about $5500 a month for my grandmother's care.

The other issue is that the professional carers are often in low wage jobs. They may have some security and benefits, but their jobs are physically and emotionally taxing, and $15 an hour is not sufficient. Elder care is an overwhelmingly female profession and the women doing the job are likely to need their own care sooner than women in other professions -- joints take a beating, sleep deprivation for overnighters causes damage, empathy exhaustion causes physical distress. And from what I've observed, unionizing in care facilities is difficult because the carers genuinely care for their clients and don't want to do anything that might harm them, even if the cost is to themselves.