What We Gain When Adoptees Tell Their Stories [View all]

[me b zola]

What We Gain When Adoptees Tell Their Stories

~snip~
Truth is, I'm not angry today. It's the beginning of my weekend and I woke up inspired to write. However the misconception is alive and well that adoptees who "speak out" are viewed as angry, and ungrateful for all they have been given. When really adoptees who speak out should be viewed as brave.

And while we are on that topic, here are some other common reactions adoptees receive when they discuss their true feelings, even in "safe adoptee spaces" (and sometimes the comment hurlers are other adoptees!)

*Well, you could have ended up in a dumpster
* You could have been aborted!
* At least you got parents who loved and wanted you!
* I wish I had been adopted
* Stop focusing on the negative and focus on the positive
* Stop living in the past!
* I'm sure you had a much better life as an adoptee
* My cousin's best friend's sister's niece doesn't feel that way!
* There are worse things in life than being adopted


I'm sure if you are adopted, you have been told all of these things and could make a full separate list.

What do all these comments have in common?

I-n-v-a-l-i-d-a-t-i-o-n!



~snip~

So in an effort to #flipthescript, how about we make it a goal for the future, to make space for all adoptee viewpoints, even conflicting ones? Why not bite on our tongues for a few minutes while an adoptee shares their truth with you. How about refrain from commenting on what you have always believed to be true about adoption as an institution and listen to the person who has experienced it speaking to you?

~much more At link~
http://noapologiesforbeingme.blogspot.com/2015/11/what-we-gain-when-adoptees-tell-their.html

I am not the author of this blog post. I have posted here to hopefully educate & illuminate.