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IronLionZion

(45,442 posts)
10. I just met a British person who has no British accent and Middle Eastern name
Thu Jun 22, 2017, 12:23 PM
Jun 2017

It became a conversation piece because she has an ambiguously neutral accent despite being born and raised in the UK and then immigrated to the US very recently.

It's OK to ask where someone's accent is from or where their family is from as part of getting to know a new acquaintance. It's more important to learn other non-cultural things about the person first if one has a genuine interest.

The problem is assuming someone is from somewhere else simply because of race, or using their race as "proof" that they can't be a citizen of the most diverse country in the world. And a lot of immigrants have become US citizens and been here for decades while keeping their accent from another country. This is especially sensitive in the Trump era where a lot of undocumented immigrants who have European heritage fly under the radar while Latino, Asian, and African heritage US citizens are threatened and even shot by racists. Knowing when it's OK can be complicated, so if in doubt, don't.

Context of the conversation matters. In my case when people insist I must be from somewhere else, they are usually Trumpsters. If it has any context relating to work or future work opportunities, I spend my first sentence or two drilling into them that I am born and raised in America US citizen with US citizen parents and security clearances in a firm confident manner that they will never forget. Before telling them where my grandparents immigrated from. At that point, their next question is usually about ethnic restaurants or recipes or they will be too shocked/disappointed to continue this line of questioning.

Diversity is unstoppable!

I just woke up...thank you SHRED Jun 2017 #1
Sometimes it's probably OK Ezior Jun 2017 #2
I think it has to do with being interested in the other person as opposed to targeting them. jalan48 Jun 2017 #4
Intent, context, and other factors are involved IronLionZion Jun 2017 #18
Is there a way to do it without sounding like a dick? Dave Starsky Jun 2017 #23
Just talk with them first. Maybe it never gets to the point where you feel comfortable asking about jalan48 Jun 2017 #25
If they don't have an obvious accent, you shouldn't assume they're not natives or neighbors? bettyellen Jun 2017 #28
Please stop... HipChick Jun 2017 #8
I never meant to be rude SHRED Jun 2017 #9
I just met a British person who has no British accent and Middle Eastern name IronLionZion Jun 2017 #10
Oh good lord Egnever Jun 2017 #27
Last time I got asked that, I said "United States" and the follow-up was "No, I mean originally". nt LexVegas Jun 2017 #3
People always laugh at me disbelievingly when I say United States IronLionZion Jun 2017 #11
No, English is my first language. I get asked strictly based on my "foreign" looks. nt LexVegas Jun 2017 #26
Yup, same here. Everyone knows what a foreigner looks like nt IronLionZion Jun 2017 #33
Like this? :-/ NurseJackie Jun 2017 #38
HA. Exactly. LexVegas Jun 2017 #39
So asking where you are from is not ok, but asking where is your family from is ok? SweetieD Jun 2017 #5
Yup, traveling abroad no one ever accepts that I'm from the US IronLionZion Jun 2017 #15
Usually if it comes up I just ask what their heritage is Blue_Adept Jun 2017 #6
It comes across as "what the fuck are you doing here? NightWatcher Jun 2017 #7
I usually sneak a cheek-swab while they're yawning Orrex Jun 2017 #12
I ask sometimes. Dulcinea Jun 2017 #13
One exception would be the South.. dixiegrrrrl Jun 2017 #14
You have to work to be accepted? I shudder to think. bettyellen Jun 2017 #29
I have to be accepted in order to work, actually. dixiegrrrrl Jun 2017 #35
It's odd because I feel like we leave our cultural differences at the door when we go to work.... bettyellen Jun 2017 #37
I'll just leave this here.., Caliman73 Jun 2017 #16
Oh yeah that's a classic! IronLionZion Jun 2017 #17
Ohhh. a cool site. thank you. dixiegrrrrl Jun 2017 #36
I ALWAYS ask rude, obnoxious people. furtheradu Jun 2017 #19
They're everywhere IronLionZion Jun 2017 #20
I have this many times over.... usedtobedemgurl Jun 2017 #21
It's not about language IronLionZion Jun 2017 #22
For me it is about.... usedtobedemgurl Jun 2017 #24
Good for you Egnever Jun 2017 #30
Brings back memories.... Dem_4_Life Jun 2017 #31
My mother's womb! IronLionZion Jun 2017 #34
"Where are you from" - or "where did you grow up" is a question I've been asked MANY jonno99 Jun 2017 #32
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