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In reply to the discussion: Tempted to ask strangers 'where they are really from?' Here's why you shouldn't [View all]IronLionZion
(45,442 posts)It became a conversation piece because she has an ambiguously neutral accent despite being born and raised in the UK and then immigrated to the US very recently.
It's OK to ask where someone's accent is from or where their family is from as part of getting to know a new acquaintance. It's more important to learn other non-cultural things about the person first if one has a genuine interest.
The problem is assuming someone is from somewhere else simply because of race, or using their race as "proof" that they can't be a citizen of the most diverse country in the world. And a lot of immigrants have become US citizens and been here for decades while keeping their accent from another country. This is especially sensitive in the Trump era where a lot of undocumented immigrants who have European heritage fly under the radar while Latino, Asian, and African heritage US citizens are threatened and even shot by racists. Knowing when it's OK can be complicated, so if in doubt, don't.
Context of the conversation matters. In my case when people insist I must be from somewhere else, they are usually Trumpsters. If it has any context relating to work or future work opportunities, I spend my first sentence or two drilling into them that I am born and raised in America US citizen with US citizen parents and security clearances in a firm confident manner that they will never forget. Before telling them where my grandparents immigrated from. At that point, their next question is usually about ethnic restaurants or recipes or they will be too shocked/disappointed to continue this line of questioning.
Diversity is unstoppable!