The Texas GOP Held Its Convention on Zoom - and It Was a Comic Disaster [View all]

[muriel_volestrangler]

Any lingering doubts that this year’s Texas Republican convention would be a goat rodeo of galactic proportions surely dissipated around 10 p.m. on July 13, when Walter West, a member of the party’s executive committee, swung a bottle of Skrewball Peanut Butter Whiskey toward his webcam and, by extension, at James Dickey, the party’s much put-upon chairman.“Don’t drink the Kool-Aid,” West warned colleagues as he waved the open bottle. But despite his protestations, it was West who had drunk the proverbial Kool-Aid, and so had the Texas GOP. The only thing left to do was to watch the bodies fall.
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At this point, some SREC members were still pushing to hold an in-person convention of some kind—perhaps dozens of in-person meetings across the state. Dickey, displaying an almost supernatural patience, tried to explain that this was impossible. Many did not seem to believe him. Walter West, the Skrewball guy, replaced his Zoom background with a photoshopped black and white image of his face with glowing red eyes, captioned “I TOLD YOU SO,” displaying a kind of touching obliviousness to the reality that his intransigence was, in fact, part of the reason this thing was becoming a disaster.

Dickey suggested they might be able to use other software to fix the mess, but that the convention would have to be pushed back. Members began working on a proposed new schedule in Google Docs. But because the URL of the draft was shared on the Zoom stream, anyone was able to edit it. First, some clever troll started scribbling yellow lines across the doc. Then, someone made an addition to the proposed Saturday schedule. “Peepeepoopoo,” it read.
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One of Allen West’s first acts was to make Walter West, of the Skrewball bottle, the party’s new sergeant at arms—putting him in charge, essentially, of enforcing discipline at party gatherings. It is now Allen’s duty, with Walter at his right side, to plan that second convention. Dickey, no doubt, will be watching at home in a bathrobe with a tall glass of Skrewball in hand. Your problem now, suckers!

https://www.texasmonthly.com/politics/texas-gop-convention-zoom-disaster/

As Texas Monthly says, apropos of nothing, did you hear that schools are opening back up in a few weeks?

These guys couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery.