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L. Coyote

(51,129 posts)

11. Plenty of time to start training for President, first get elected, then Google Syria.

Wed Nov 18, 2015, 02:05 PM

Nov 2015

Carson Announces Detailed Plan to Google Syria
By Andy Borowitz

DES MOINES (The Borowitz Report)—In a major foreign-policy announcement on Wednesday, the Republican Presidential candidate Ben Carson unveiled a detailed plan to Google Syria.

Speaking in Iowa, the retired neurosurgeon told an audience of supporters, “Any responsible policy on Syria must begin with a fact-finding mission, and such a mission must begin with Googling.”

He said that “Google holds the key” to many questions about Syria. “Where is it? Who lives there? How many square miles is it? These are all things that have to be pinned down,” he said.

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Highlight:

Pic Of The Moment: Carson Campaign Goes To War With Itself [View all] EarlG Nov 2015 OP

That photo yuiyoshida Nov 2015 #1

It's the Gloria Swanson in Sunset Boulevard look-a-like pic.... Punkingal Nov 2015 #6

I was going to ask... Kali Nov 2015 #7

His eyes are actually open... awoke_in_2003 Nov 2015 #22

That's when he first saw Jeebus Martin Eden Nov 2015 #29

That's damn funny! SusanaMontana41 Nov 2015 #36

What I like about Carson NewJeffCT Nov 2015 #2

If he does win the nomination, and the Repukes tamper with the voting machines red dog 1 Nov 2015 #17

Like I said, Herman Cain mk 2. He was never gonna last. [nt] Jester Messiah Nov 2015 #3

Now they have to train Ben up on this too? underpants Nov 2015 #4

It's not your fault Ben that you hired lousy advisors. Of course, if you were president, you NCjack Nov 2015 #5

does this surprise any of us? this is a peson who cannot even name ONE of our allies--not even niyad Nov 2015 #8

IMO Gin Nov 2015 #9

Yup - I'd say Forrest Gump but that wouldn't be nice to Forrest. erronis Nov 2015 #12

It's called a "Circular Firing Squad" Fritz Walter Nov 2015 #10

Plenty of time to start training for President, first get elected, then Google Syria. L. Coyote Nov 2015 #11

The GOP has turned the election of the President of the United States into... AlbertCat Nov 2015 #13

So, now they are ageist on top of racist and misogynist? lark Nov 2015 #14

BOZO trueblue2007 Nov 2015 #15

Clarridge "runs a 'private spying operation . . . from poolside at his home near San Diego'." Bucky Nov 2015 #16

It's not brain surgery, red dog 1 Nov 2015 #18

isn't carson older than clarridge? getagrip_already Nov 2015 #19

No. JackRiddler Nov 2015 #28

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: malthaussen Nov 2015 #20

Or maybe the pollsters are trolling us d_legendary1 Nov 2015 #25

Who am I? Why am I here? DefenseLawyer Nov 2015 #21

Admiral Stockdale....is that you??? nt MADem Nov 2015 #32

Wonder what tipped off his foreign policy advisers -- his batshyt insane belief that the pyramids thebighobgoblin Nov 2015 #23

See post 26 below. JackRiddler Nov 2015 #27

I really do have to wonder -- is this the best the GOP field has to offer?!?!?! thebighobgoblin Nov 2015 #24

Duane Clarridge (CIA) is a Bush mob consigliere. JackRiddler Nov 2015 #26

I wouldn't bet on that--Jeb has been talking about CHRISTIANS a lot. MADem Nov 2015 #33

Let's ramp up the fear factor! SusanaMontana41 Nov 2015 #37

Carson needs to hire Jefferson D'Arcy: spooky3 Nov 2015 #30

Is jeb! hoping to score some of this kook's followers with all of his creepy Christian comments? MADem Nov 2015 #31

Worse than Hermain Cain BlueStreak Nov 2015 #34

How dare he disparage senility? Does he have no respect for Ronald Reagan? Midnight Writer Nov 2015 #35

THREAD WIN! SusanaMontana41 Nov 2015 #38

The best rsacamano Nov 2015 #39