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In reply to the discussion: I'm angry and conflicted about a patient right now. Maybe talking about it will help. [View all]sagetea
(1,368 posts)I'm a female. I was kidnapped by an older man. In my late 40's, lost my parents and by a stroke of luck, I was one of the first people to know when my captor died, their deaths happened within 10 mos. of each other. It propelled me to learn what my captor put me through. One of the ways I took to find out was through porn. And therapy....
What I found was I have sexual proclivity towards older men, because, that was what I knew, always. However, what I found on porn (besides what I learned about my past) was there is a huge, I mean HUGE section of 'age play' for both women and men. I guess what I am trying to say is, he didn't have to get child porn because there is women on internet porn who are into 'age play' In my opinion, men (and women) who go to the extreme like that, there is something fundamentally wrong with their head! Seriously!!
Long story short...I was on porn for three yrs. because what, for me, started out as wanting to understand my past, but it became an addiction to the attention I got from men. And I stopped it's been just over two yrs. and I still want to go! My husband knew and thankfully understood what I was going through...so, I'm not such a bad monster!
Some say that people that were abused become the abuser, maybe that is true in some cases, I think some are born like that. My captor molested his sister, when she was my age. He was never abused. I was the only child he took captive but, he molested others, one I almost lost my life trying to distract him. It worked, but the gun did not!! lol!!
I think I gave too much information...sorry about that! Perssonally, I think we need as a society talk about this stuff, just sayin'!
If I offended anybody, my apologies!
edited for misspelling 'their'.
A'ho
sage