I'm so distraught about Aliengirl's passing.

[iverglas]

33. I never read the lounge ...

but I looked in tonight and just thought my little sister's story might buck you up.

She was diagnosed with stage III rectal cancer at age 42 -- a lifelong non-smoking vegetarian. That was nearly 3 years ago. First the colostomy, then the chemo, then the radiation, then the surgery, then the colostomy reversal -- a little over a year for the entire process. And she is completely good to go. No indication of any further cancer. It's a beatable one. Not that everyone will beat it and there's no guarantee you will, I don't mean to be flippant. But we found it can help a little to hear the good stories when you suddenly find yourself dropped in it.

My mum was diagnosed with lymphoma at almost exactly the same time. Her chemo and radiation (surgery wasn't possible) paralleled my sister's, a few weeks later throughout the process. Hers may recur, but she's good for now.

For several weeks, I was the only one who knew about my sister (apart from her partner), as she decided to keep it from my mum and brothers, and then flatly refused to discuss any of it with anybody, and just got on with it and that was it. The day I came in from out of town and went with my mum to the hospital for her first biopsy, and my sister was there for her first chemo down the hall, and I was looking after her kid in the cafeteria and running back and forth making up excuses to my mum for why I had wandered off and why my sister couldn't come to drive her home and trying to make sure they didn't cross paths accidentally ... I finally swore the nurses to secrecy and told them what was up, so they didn't decide I was an insane and neglectful daughter ... Anyhow, my sister decided to break the news to my mum later that day, and what a relief that was! But I'll tell ya, that was a tough year.

Everybody does it differently. My sister, with her everybody-shut-up approach, was one extreme. I don't know that I'd go the same way; I am bad enough with this broken leg, just a whiner. If talking about it helps how you feel, it's good you can do that. And if hearing about people who have gone through and come out the other end (maybe not the best metaphor for rectal cancer, hmm) ... well, my family would be glad if that helped a little.