I'm hoping this forum will help...because I could really use some.

[Rhiannon12866]

15. I agree with Cally. Every meeting is different.

The first meeting I went to was a speaker's meeting. Three people got up in front of the room and told their stories. I didn't have to say a word and my friend went with me, not an alcoholic, but it was an open meeting, open to everyone, not just alcoholics, so she came with me for support. I did say something to one of the speakers afterwards, since the story resonated with me, and I was impressed that someone could get up there and share all that, but I didn't need to...

The second meeting I went to was a women's meeting. That's where I was welcomed, given phone numbers and eventually found a sponsor. But you don't have to speak at any meeting. You can say that you "pass" or that you're just there to listen, if it comes to that. Everyone there was new at one point, so folks do understand. I've heard story after story from those who said it took them a long time just to find the courage to speak.

You don't need to speak until you're up to it and you don't have to drink to go. It's only an hour. You can just sit and listen for as long as you want, and people usually talk one-on-one after the meeting which is much easier than sharing in front of everyone. It's expected that new people will just want to listen at first, and you never know when you'll hear something that you identify with or that's helpful to you.

There are speaker's meetings, discussion meetings, Big Book (study) meetings, and one I've been to is a meditation meeting. I followed the suggestions I was given and did 90 meetings in 90 days and stuck with the ones that I liked the best and where I felt comfortable. If you just want to sit and listen, that's okay. That's a good first step, just showing up and giving it a try.

That's what I did and that was over three years ago. It took me awhile to "get it," find out what would work for me. I never thought I would make it through a week, but I'll have three years in a few weeks, One Day at a Time. Let us know how you are. We've been there and know how you're feeling.