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Crewleader

(17,005 posts)
Wed Nov 19, 2014, 10:30 PM Nov 2014

Lady Driver, Brilliant! [View all]



A mature lady gets pulls over for speeding


Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?


Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding.



Older Woman: Oh, I see.




Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please?



Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one.



Traffic Cop: Don't have one?



Older Woman: No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving.



Traffic Cop: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.



Older Woman: I can't do that.



Traffic Cop: Why not?



Older Woman: I stole this car.



Traffic Cop: Stole it?



Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.


Traffic Cop: You what!?




Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.



The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car while calling for back up.

Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.



Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.



Older woman: Is there a problem sir?



Officer 2: My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.



Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Are you serious?!



Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.



The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.



Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?



Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The traffic cop is quite stunned.



Officer 2: My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license.



The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.



The officer examines the license quizzically.



Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by my officer here that you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner!



Older Woman: Bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.



Don't Mess With Mature Ladies



If you want to brighten someone's day, pass this on to someone you know.

I just did!





9 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Lady Driver, Brilliant! [View all] Crewleader Nov 2014 OP
HAHAHAHA! elleng Nov 2014 #1
Complaints Received by Thomas Cook Vacations from Dissatisfied Customers: No Vested Interest Nov 2014 #2
LOL! Crewleader Nov 2014 #3
I love Maxine! No Vested Interest Nov 2014 #4
Unfortunately lost many on old computers No Vested Interset Crewleader Nov 2014 #5
Got this one today Crewleader Nov 2014 #6
Wow! You caught me on that one! No Vested Interest Nov 2014 #7
No Vested Interest...:) Crewleader Nov 2014 #8
Another e-mail surprise my friend Crewleader Nov 2014 #9
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