For my dad we all, family and friends, met at my parent's house. Family who had something to say, said it, Music was a big part of our lives, so those who could, performed. So was food. We ate, we drank, we celebrated, and that was that. Food family music and friends.

By the time my mom died there was no family house to gather at. We all met at the cemetery, not that anyone is actually buried at the grave, we all get cremated, but we gathered, friends and family, and again we said what we wanted to say, and there was music even on a bitterly cold early march day, and then we went to a nearby restaurant and celebrated with food and drink.

Think "wake". No priests. No service. Raise a glass, eat, sing, remember.