I think I must be a total mess

[magical thyme]

5. that is normal. there were co-workers who didn't want me in the lab when I was hired

they sabotaged my training, bullied me, etc. 3 years later I'm still there because I need the job.

There were managers who didn't want me at my other p/t job. They harassed me and crapped all over my personal life. 2 years later I'm still there because I need the job.

At the job I'd taken temporarily at the sub shop when I was bringing in hay a bale or 2 at a time shoved into the back of my little civic, I was set up by some of the other workers. They got me fired because they didn't want me there.

And that's the thing, when jobs are very tight, the atmosphere stinks because the insecure workers see you as a threat, the secure workers who have friends looking for a job see you as taking a job that 'belonged' to their friend, managers are afraid of the smart person who could take over their job, and so on.

It makes the working environment hellish, no matter how much you love the work. The better you are at it, the more likely you are to be hated and sabotaged.

You said you don't care about the money. The two girls who decided they hate you and wouldn't give you a chance may have sensed that, or just your general happiness with the job...