Fear

[Punkingal]

9. interesting that you posted this today, since I had an experience yesterday.

I live in MN and I see a doctor at Mayo Clinic in Rochester regularly for my rheumatoid arthritis. I had an appointment yesterday and while I was sitting in the waiting area to be called in, a woman walked by me in Muslim dress and joined a man who was also waiting to be called.

Now, I have always outspokenly rebelled against the Bush/Cheney fear fest. I thought it was deplorable. But in spite of that, the thought flitted across my mind, "Wow. wouldn't they get some attention if they blew up the Mayo Clinic." I can't even begin to describe how immediately ashamed of myself I was, but even so, the thought popped into my head.

My point is this: I am college-educated, a psychology major no less, and I am horrified that I entertained such a thought, even for a minute. I understand the use of fear to control people, have had many conversations about it, am aware of it and disgusted by it, but there it was. It jumped up and grabbed me, just as if I had never given it a thought beyond believing every fear-mongering lie I had been told. Frankly, that scares the crap out of me. it makes me angry at myself, and it brought home to me how well the use of fear works....it is insidious. And it works.