2016 Postmortem
Showing Original Post only (View all)Nothing is ever the Sanders campaign's fault. [View all]
Bernie Sanders never fucks up. He never has problems that are just of his, his staff's, or his supporters' own making.
If Bernie2016TV gets hit with a copyright strike for dumping four hours of copyrighted material on YouTube, it's because CNN is trying to protect Clinton, not because the moron in charge of the channel doesn't understand what the fuck fair use is.
If Time doesn't name Sanders POTY, it's because TimeWarner is in the bag for Clinton, not because there are people who have had a far more significant impact on the world that year than he.
If legitimate polls conducted by people who have spent their careers in statistics and sociology don't show Sanders winning 100% of the vote, it's because the polls are skewed and those professionals and book l'rners don't know what they're doing, not because Sanders isn't doing as well as his supporters assumed.
If African Americans, LGBTers, Hispanics, and women aren't falling over for Sanders immediately, it's because they're psychologically bonded with their abuser Clinton, not because Sanders' message isn't resonating with them or his supporters are absolutely failing at outreach.
If the media isn't following Sanders around and documenting everything he's doing, it's because they're totally afraid of him, not because he's not as interesting as his supporters believe him to be.
On the other hand, if the media is paying attention to Sanders and ask him a question they've been suspiciously instructed not to ask him, they're doing so because they hate black people, love war, and want to sabotage Sanders' campaign, not because they're actually doing their damn job in response to Sanders doing the press equivalent of "don't look!"
If protesters interrupt his speeches, they're angry, black, lesbian, Big Pharma Hillaryite Palin lovers, not because black people's issues have been fucking ignored and they finally found an opportunity to speak up.
If Sanders' staffers get caught dicking around in a place they've apparently been made aware they're not supposed to be, it's because DWS DNC WTF TCP/IP LOL hates Sanders, not because some of his staffers are incompetent nincompoops.
And if seeing all these excuses and conspiracy theories listed together reminds you of a raving lunatic who likes to wear shoes on his head and howl in empty parking garages, it's because you're one of Them!