If I Admit That ‘Hating Men’ Is a Thing, Will You Stop Turning It Into a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy?

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16. Victim-hood

This obsession with misandry, for me, would be laughable if it wasn't so sad. It's sad in that it smack's of he Right's growing dogma of the victim-hood of those who have always held power in this country. Christianity is under attack, defend the faith in the war against Christmas! We have no ideas other than thinly veiled attempts to maintain the riches of the 1%, so the rest of the country are takers trying to unjustly redistribute the wealth, Socialism! I say something idiotic and am quoted correctly, it's a conspiracy of the liberal media! The dominant patriarchy starts to show signs of cracking, so gee, any threat to the power and benefits I have unjustly enjoyed for all of my life becomes a menace taking the form of misandry. I find the hue and cry of misandry remarkably similar to the wailing and gnashing of teeth found in the likes of Rush, Hannity, and O'Reilly.

When I divorced years ago it was decided that I would take custody of our two daughters. This was because I was more comfortable and better in the role of caregiver. We agreed on everything ahead of time and used one lawyer for both of us. During the hearing I took the stand and the (female) judge grilled me for nearly half an hour. I was asked, "as a male, are you sure you know how to cook?" (I'm a fantastic cook by the way) "How can you possibly know how to care for little girls (ages 6 & 9)?" And my favorite question, "how do I know you aren't a pervert?" I eventually left the court and went home to my little girls with anger and bitterness in my heart. It took me a couple of weeks to put the blame for that episode where it belonged. It was the dominance of society's patriarchy that led that judge to question what she saw as a perversion of established gender roles that should be observed in a family.

It isn't misandry that is responsible for men loosing custody of their children, it is patriarchy. As men we need to accept that patriarchy is the problem. We need to realize we have unjustly gained from patriarchy all of their lives. But at the same time it is also responsible for our own suffering. Unless we are willing to acknowledge to source of our troubles (patriarchy), we will be susceptible to cloaking ourselves with an aura of false victim-hood that benefits none and hurts all. Especially wonderful girls like my babies.