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DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Topics » Gender & Orientation » History of Feminism (Group) » Virginity, Violence and M... » Reply #14

Response to seabeyond (Reply #13)

Sat May 31, 2014, 12:24 PM

14. Maybe I could have used clearer language.

My point is mostly that, while, yes, society is obsessed with sex - the taboo is religious in nature. That there is deep guilt, feelings of wrongness and shame associated with sex when it's a natural thing that pretty much all of us desire. On the one hand - it's promoted like mad, sold like mad, it's all over the place. On the other hand, the deep belief that it is wrong, that we're going to hell if we do it before marriage, that God hates it or that we're bad people for wanting it or doing it... is where the taboo lies. This is why when men talk about sex in a locker room, they aren't honest about it.

You will likely never hear a man in a locker room say, "I'm so horny I think about boinking trees. I don't understand why women don't want me. Can you guys help me figure it out? Why am I still a virgin at 25? Do you think it might be because I only shower once a week? Seriously. Let's talk about this and try to figure it out."

Much more likely, "OMG. Guys, I got me some hot babes last night and we went at it all night long. There was like, three of em, and they were all talkin' about how big my manhood was (it's like six feet long, seriously) and begging me to let them play with it."

I'm exaggerating a bit in both examples, but the point is that there's a reason men lie about sex. Some of it is shame inspired by religious guilt, some of it is shame inspired by the notion that you're not a man if you haven't had sex yet. Some of it is just the frustration of deeply lonely men who can't figure out what to do about their desires.

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Arrow 39 replies Author Time Post
ismnotwasm May 2014 OP
shenmue May 2014 #1
theHandpuppet May 2014 #2
sulphurdunn May 2014 #3
seabeyond May 2014 #7
sulphurdunn May 2014 #10
DesertDiamond May 2014 #4
seabeyond May 2014 #8
Sweet Freedom May 2014 #15
seabeyond May 2014 #16
Sweet Freedom May 2014 #22
seabeyond May 2014 #23
theHandpuppet May 2014 #24
seabeyond May 2014 #5
davidthegnome May 2014 #6
seabeyond May 2014 #9
davidthegnome May 2014 #11
seabeyond May 2014 #12
seabeyond May 2014 #13
LineLineLineLineLineReply Maybe I could have used clearer language.
davidthegnome May 2014 #14
seabeyond May 2014 #18
davidthegnome May 2014 #20
seabeyond May 2014 #21
ismnotwasm May 2014 #25
theHandpuppet May 2014 #34
ismnotwasm May 2014 #35
theHandpuppet May 2014 #36
davidthegnome Jun 2014 #37
theHandpuppet Jun 2014 #38
ismnotwasm May 2014 #17
seabeyond May 2014 #19
randys1 May 2014 #26
Dark n Stormy Knight May 2014 #27
redqueen May 2014 #28
seabeyond May 2014 #29
redqueen May 2014 #30
ismnotwasm May 2014 #31
redqueen May 2014 #32
seabeyond May 2014 #33
MadrasT Jun 2014 #39
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