Much appreciated, Nitram.

It's so weird - just the act of thinking back on that evokes a visceral reaction, to this late date. Shit. I'm 65 years old. I was probably 14 when that happened. And it still has an impact.

And no one was injured, except perhaps for the odd elbow poke because of how we were all crowded in there. Everybody else had a great time. It was an innocent, fun, silly little stunt - great for a yearbook photo for the end of the year. Nobody should have to feel what I was feeling. And I'm glad about that, at least. Guess I was the only claustrophobic in the group.

Btw - when we made out our wills awhile back, I included an additional note of my last wishes. Among them - regarding boxing me up and burying me: "MAKE SURE I'M DEAD." I have this weird fear of being buried alive - like in a coma or something that escapes medical notice. Saw some horror movie about that, decades ago, and it left a powerful mark. If anything, it changed my mind about being an organ donor. I was hesitant for awhile (envisioning doctors circling over me like vultures, maybe snuffing me out a little early, to harvest whatever's needed). But fuck it. Take whatever spare parts you want if they'll do any good for somebody else. Pretty sure at that point, whatever would be left of my carcass very likely would NOT still be alive.

Weird, I know.

Thanks, bluecollar2.

I guess it proves that trauma is trauma, whether it's the result of a silly little high school stunt or an act of violence. It doesn't give me a chance to walk in the shoes of a rape victim. But it does allow me to pick up those shoes and get a closer look at them.

It's so weird how those emotions can translate immediately to physical manifestations.

I get it. I'm just grateful I "got" it in such a silly, comparatively harmless situation instead of a rape or another form of sexual assault. TOO MANY OTHER WOMEN weren't so lucky, haven't been so lucky, and will undoubtedly continue not to be so lucky in the future.

Hey renate - thank you.

I still remember looking up at that sealed window. Everybody outside was cheering and squealing with excitement as more and more of us were crowding into that VW. How many could we get? Could we set a record or something? COOL! Meanwhile I was stuck at the bottom, next to that rear window - reaching up to it, even clawing at it, momentarily thinking I could open it. I even looked for a window handle to crank open before realizing this car's rear windows were sealed shut.

It was such a huge effort just to stay calm and not start physically freaking out. Besides - there was no room inside there to do that. I forget how many kids got packed in there. It was a fair amount, for sure. The inside of that little car was STUFFED to the max. It's still unsettling to think about, all these years later.

Thanks, my dear friend.

I almost didn't post it because - hell, crowding into a VW bug out in the parking lot in a silly little school stunt DOES NOT EVEN BEGIN TO COMPARE with the extreme trauma that Dr. Ford and rape victims and assault victims - AND abuse victims have endured. So curious now, all these years later, to realize that as relatively insignificant an experience mine was by comparison, it helped me "get" what they feel, how they feel - and THAT they feel. What it DID do is allow me to understand THEIR trauma, even from a microscopic level, and not just sympathize but empathize. It gave me a tiny window to see into their pain. Mine was an anthill. Theirs is Olympus Mons.

I'm sorry - I thought that, too.

Watching that eruptive display, the anger, the sturm und drang, the belligerence - Judicial Temperament????????????? Good Grief!!!!!!!

Wil Wheaton's Facebook essay included a comment about how it's become easy "to see this guy as a belligerent drunk who won't take no for an answer."

"Everything about him is terrible. He's *clearly* a rich prep school kid who has never been told "no" in his life, and we saw today what happens whenever someone tries to tell him no. It wasn't particularly difficult to see this guy as a belligerent drunk who won't take no for an answer. You could clearly see it in his ranting and raving, his angry yelling at a female senator, and his overwhelming, palpable sense of entitlement."

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1732664380193430&id=100003496539869

I am now afraid of Brett Kavanaugh. I'd want a security detail around me if I were ever going to have to meet him.

You are TOTALLY Out Of Order, Lindsey.

I'm for BOTH.

He is damaged goods. The scary part is how damaging he'll be to our rights when he gets to the high bench, which, unfortunately, after yesterday, I think will be the outcome.

I hope TO GOD I'm wrong. That anger and belligerence and bullying he showed yesterday is just the kind of thing the other side loves. A lot of them hate us liberals and dearly want us humiliated, dominated, and destroyed.

For the first time in a long time, I'm genuinely frightened.

Ahh, good. Thanks!

I agree with what he's written here.

Yep.