7 found dead with gunshot wounds on west Australia property

Source: AP

Seven people were found dead with gunshot wounds at a property near the tourist town of Margaret River in Australia’s southwest on Friday in what could be the country’s worst mass shooting in 22 years, police said.

The bodies of three adults and four children and two guns were found at a property at the village of Osmington, Western Australia state Police Commissioner Chris Dawson said.

Police have no information to raise concerns about the wider public safety. Police were led to the property by a phone call before dawn, Dawson said.

“This devastating tragedy will no doubt have a lasting impact on the families concerned, the whole community and, in particular, the local communities in our southwest,” Dawson told reporters.


Read more: https://apnews.com/c8b0e018b50e4f07b5e99eab9bdf6733/7-found-dead-with-gunshot-wounds-on-west-Australia-property

Trump Considering Pulling U.S. Out of Constitution

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it “maybe the worst deal ever,” Donald J. Trump said on Wednesday that he is considering pulling the United States out of the United States Constitution.

“I’ve seen a lot of bad deals in my life, but this Constitution is a total mess,” he said. “We need to tear it up and start over.”

Trump was scathing in his remarks about the two-hundred-and-twenty-nine-year-old document, singling out for special scorn its insistence on three branches of government. “The branches thing is maybe the worst part of this deal,” he said. “The first thing we do when we pull out of the Constitution is get rid of two of those branches.”

He also called the First Amendment “something that really has to go.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-considering-pulling-us-out-of-constitution

Hit the link to read the rest. It's worth it -- especially the last paragraph.

NRA Touts Oliver North's Expertise At Avoiding Jail Time For Colluding With Hostile Foreign Powers

FAIRFAX, VA—Saying that he had just the qualifications needed to help guide their organization, the NRA announced Monday that Oliver North would be its new president, touting the retired Lt. Colonel’s expertise at avoiding jail time for colluding with hostile foreign powers.

“Oliver North brings a wealth of experience in setting up back channels and illicitly exchanging funds with foreign adversaries, all while escaping any time in prison, which is exactly what the NRA is looking for in its leadership,” said NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre, telling reporters that North’s prowess at escaping felony charges for conspiring with rival countries in an effort to get even more firearms into people’s hands made the former FOX News host by far the best candidate they had considered.

“As we looked to fill the position, we were immediately impressed by Lt. North’s proven ability to not only survive criminal conviction for illegally channeling foreign money, but also actively thrive in its aftermath. This is exactly the sort of innovation and resourcefulness that the NRA is going to need as it heads into the future.”

LaPierre added that North’s skill set was complemented by his terrific attitude of contempt towards the rule of law.

https://www.theonion.com/nra-touts-oliver-north-s-expertise-at-avoiding-jail-tim-1825837876

An ex-con Senate candidate called himself 'Trumpier than Trump' -- and he's right

When President Barack Obama sought reelection in 2012, he faced no serious opposition from within his own party. After the bruising and extended primary battle against Hillary Clinton in 2008, Obama could largely ignore the 2012 primary and focus on his eventual Republican opponent.

That doesn’t mean all the Democratic primaries were walks. In two states, challengers to Obama managed to accrue more than 40 percent of the vote. One of those states was West Virginia, where a guy named Keith Judd managed to secure 40.7 percent of the vote. Judd wasn’t a traditional candidate, crisscrossing the state to gin up support.

He couldn’t. He was in prison.

Judd’s success was not about showing support for Judd. It was about showing dislike for the establishment, in the form of Obama. He was the beneficiary of a trend that has become important in understanding politics at the moment, a trend that has another former convict, Don Blankenship, in the hunt for the Republican nomination to challenge Sen. Joe Manchin III (D-W.Va.) in November.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/politics/wp/2018/05/07/an-ex-con-senate-candidate-called-himself-trumpier-than-trump-and-hes-right

Yes he truly is "Trumpier than Trump" -- he's already done his prison time.

Trump Removes Giuliani from Legal Team by Naming Him New White House Doctor

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a move that has stirred controversy in both legal and medical circles, Donald J. Trump removed Rudy Giuliani from his legal team on Monday by naming him the new White House doctor.

The decision to appoint the former New York mayor to such a key medical position raised eyebrows, in no small part because Giuliani would become the first White House doctor in history not to possess a medical degree.

But, in an official White House briefing to announce the decision, the press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, pushed back against the criticism of Giuliani’s nonexistent medical credentials. “Rudolph Giuliani is every bit as qualified to be a doctor as he is to be a lawyer,” she said.

Dr. Giuliani hit the ground running in his new job, immediately scheduling an hour-long appearance on Sean Hannity’s Fox News program to discuss the state of Trump’s health.

“Is the President’s mental health good?” Giuliani asked on the air. “Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. Is he all there? You really have to define what you mean by ‘all.’ If he’s out of his mind, so what? That’s nobody’s business. The important thing is, I’m on TV again talking a lot, and I’ve never felt so alive.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-removes-giuliani-from-legal-team-by-naming-him-new-white-house-doctor

Mueller Poses As Fox News Host To Coax Rudy Giuliani Into Giving Him Testimony On Trump

NEW YORK—Welcoming viewers back to an exclusive interview featuring the President’s new attorney, Special Counsel Robert Mueller posed as a Fox News host Thursday to coax Rudy Giuliani into giving him a testimony on Trump.

“Rudy, it’s always a pleasure to have you on ‘Mueller Tonight’—now, I wanted to really dig in and ask you about the President’s state of mind on April 11, 2017,” said Mueller, who leaned over his desk as Giuliani eagerly answered a series of follow-up questions concerning Roger Stone, Paul Manafort, and the Seychelles islands, stressing that the millions tuning in to watch the 8 p.m. primetime Fox News talk show “really appreciated” the former New York City mayor’s insight.

“Fascinating stuff, Rudy. I’m sure our fans at home are especially interested in that Trump Tower meeting you just mentioned. Before we head to break, though, would you mind putting your hand on this Bible and repeating something for me?”

At press time, Mueller had welcomed President Trump, who called in to the show to give a statement confirming everything Giuliani had just said.

https://politics.theonion.com/mueller-poses-as-fox-news-host-to-coax-rudy-giuliani-in-1825782607

Trump Deletes Nine Tweets While Attempting to Spell "Subpoena"

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump deleted nine tweets early Wednesday morning in a failed attempt to spell the word “subpoena,” a White House source confirmed.

According to the source, Trump spent more than an hour angrily trying to spell the legal term before giving up in disgust. “I’ve never seen him so enraged,” the source said. “He hates the word ‘subpoena’ more than the E.P.A. hates the words ‘climate’ and ‘change.’ ”

Having been flummoxed in the past while trying to spell such words as “heel” and “tap,” Trump now believes that the word “subpoena” is “out to get him,” the source said.

Speaking to reporters later in the morning, Trump called the word “subpoena” “disgraceful” and said that it had treated him “very unfairly,” but stopped short of threatening to fire it from the dictionary.

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-deletes-nine-tweets-while-attempting-to-spell-subpoena

DNA match sought to Zodiac Killer after break in other case

Detectives still trying to identify Northern California's infamous Zodiac Killer who targeted victims in the late 1960s and taunted investigators with letters say they hope to try the same DNA tracing technology recently used to arrest a suspect in another string of cold-case serial slayings — those blamed on the Golden State Killer.

But first they have to get a better DNA profile.

Several months ago, the Vallejo Police Department sent two letters written by the Zodiac Killer to a private lab in hopes of finding his DNA on the back of the stamps or envelope flaps that may have been licked. They are expecting results soon.

"They were confident they would be able to get something off it," Vallejo police Detective Terry Poyser told the Sacramento Bee.

https://apnews.com/ac6bb05bbe754dbfbaa57e0cfef5a878

Pretty interesting development. Hope they're successful.

Trump adviser: Americans need to 'absorb a little bit of pain'

Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross is upbeat about President Trump’s trade agenda. But he’s not promising a free lunch. “If you don’t show you’re willing to absorb a little bit of pain, how on earth are you going to get things changed?” he said at the Milken Institute’s annual finance-fest in Los Angeles, before heading to China for trade negotiations.

In a conversation with Yahoo Finance Editor-in-Chief Andy Serwer, Ross jabbed the New York Times, rhapsodized about space, and predicted Trump’s threats on trade would ultimately produce success. Trade worries is one big thing holding back financial markets in an otherwise robust economy, with investors worried that tit-for-tat tariffs will blow up into an outright trade war.

Ross downplays those risks, pointing to tariffs on Korean-made washing machines the Trump administration imposed earlier this year. “There was a bit woe-is-me,” Ross said. “Well, guess what. Both Samsung and LG are increasing their production of washing machines in the United States.”

The Commerce Secretary provided an update on negotiations with Canada and Mexico about revamping the North American Free Trade Agreement, a huge trade pact that undergirds much of the US economy. “Either we’ll have a deal in the next few weeks or it probably won’t be until the fall,” Ross said, pointing out that upcoming elections in Canada and Mexico this summer would probably require a pause if there’s not a deal. By the same logic, Ross’s fall deadline might be unrealistic, given that the US midterm elections are in November.

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/trump-adviser-americans-need-absorb-little-bit-pain-185727558.html

You can be sure Wilbur Ross won't be absorbing any pain.

Making people suffer seems to be a consistent policy of Republicans and evangelicals.

Matt Gaetz gets a quick civics lesson!